I Think It's Time to Call It Quits - Getting Out Safely

...so after recent occurrences, I have decided that I need to get out of what could turn into a potentially abusive relationship with my new BF.

It's only been a month, but he's showing dangerous signs of control issues and verbal abuse, and I want to get out before things get worse.

I've mentioned his meltdown over an omelette in a previous post, and most recently, we got into a huge argument over the fact that I got a vaginal infection (as a result of him "needing" to engage in intercourse nightly regardless of my menstrual cycle) and me saying "no" two nights in a row.

These are only two instances where he's gone completely nuts whenever I've gone against what he wants.

I'm leaving out a ton here, but suffice it to say, if he's being this controlling and verbally abusive now, there's nowhere to go but DOWN, and after surviving a past abusive relationship, I know the signs.

So here's the deal... He has a key to my apartment, and my work uniform is still at his place. After last night, I have decided that I want to end it, but I know that trying to do it face-to-face could get pretty ugly.

Ideally, I want to mail his keys back to him and be done. No conversation... NOTHING. However, how do I get my keys back SAFELY? I'm not sure my apartment complex will allow me to change the locks.

I can purchase another work uniform and name tag, but the key issue is concerning.

He was so sweet at first, and I initially thought him wanting to spend so much time with me was kind of endearing. Boy was I wrong...

good luck~ call a women's shelter for advice, get a friend to go with you to get the key... be prepared for stalking or worse...

and then consider why you liked the guy to start with. often we have formed patterns of behavior that we are unaware of, and which are not ever going to satisfy.

best wishes~

I personally slipped away silently.... I went over like nothing was wrong, "stole my stuff" and slipped out.

Never to return.

I agree, go back to collect your things, and take someone with you. Don't give him the power or satisfaction of making you feel unsafe in your own home.

I was going to TRY to do that, but he started in on me again this morning while I was at work. When I told him I couldn't really talk, he went into a rage again. He's been texting me all day...giving me ultimatums, etx.

What he doesn't realize is that prior to going out with him I took an ENTIRE YEAR ALONE! No dates, no hook-ups, NADA.

So I KNOW I can be alone and be OK. The more I ignore him, the more erratic his texts are becoming. This will be great harassment proof if needed.

So I called my apartment complex and they agreed to change the locks. I am going to drop his keys in his mailbox with hopes that he finds them.

I don't want to interact with him anymore AT ALL...not even to tell him it's over. He should get the message.

Perfect! After your last update about his erratic text raging, I'm so relieved that your locks will be changed


Block all contact from him, so you can officially close this chapter.