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  #1  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 12:16 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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Why is it, that when your single, and you find people to your liking and you exchange Facebook, phone numbers etc. And you go and message back and forth, that you end up being the one to do all of the talking, and they just go and "READ" your messages without replying back?

Like Facebook has this "SEEN", "READ" feature where it's like alright they clearly saw and read your message and are "ONLINE" but yet can't reply to your message? Like why do they do that?

Is it me, and not being very interesting, or is it they aren't interested in talking, or are they busy, busy working, if they are working, why are they on social media? If they are social media they can clearly talking to me as well.

I don't get it when it comes to guys and not being able to communicate.

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  #2  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 01:58 PM
Molinit Molinit is offline
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Men do this when they are lazy or they want to string someone along. Exchange a few messages, but require them to call or actually see you to talk from then on. Texting and FB is the lazy man's way of gathering females to pay attention to them. (works for women also).
  #3  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 02:22 PM
Anonymous37954
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I had to respond to this as someone who is not a fan of social media (I just have a different perspective for you to consider...I have no idea what the other person is thinking. So, fwiw)

Social media is turning people into slightly angry stalkers who are a little narcissistic. Just my opinion.

I read so much of how people get upset because such and such "unfriended" them. Or didn't "like" something. Or know another person is online but are not answering. Or they text a person and that person fails to text back in a timely manner.

I totally understand that this is the age of instant gratification....but that isn't a good thing in my opinion.

For me, my phone is for my convenience. Because it's MY phone. I don't feel the need to mollify anybody for that if they get annoyed.

My point (that I'm probably making poorly) is that you are making yourself annoyed with this...they are not doing it to annoy you. So it's more your perception that you might want to adjust a little so that this whole thing doesn't keep feeling like it's about you.

Maybe it's not.
Thanks for this!
Aiyana, Bill3, eskielover, Trippin2.0, xRavenx
  #4  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 03:54 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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It does annoy and bother me is all. To me, I have always had guys who liked me and were interested in me, talk to me all the time, and when the guy isn't talking to me all the time, or as much anymore and it dies out, that hurts. As the saying goes, if a guy likes you they will show it, but when they show it and it is very little it just sucks. Its like I know I like this guy a lot and I want him to like me just as much! But yet.... you get what I am saying.
  #5  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 04:05 PM
Anonymous50909
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolemyheart87 View Post
Why is it, that when your single, and you find people to your liking and you exchange Facebook, phone numbers etc. And you go and message back and forth, that you end up being the one to do all of the talking, and they just go and "READ" your messages without replying back?

Like Facebook has this "SEEN", "READ" feature where it's like alright they clearly saw and read your message and are "ONLINE" but yet can't reply to your message? Like why do they do that?

Is it me, and not being very interesting, or is it they aren't interested in talking, or are they busy, busy working, if they are working, why are they on social media? If they are social media they can clearly talking to me as well.

I don't get it when it comes to guys and not being able to communicate.

This sounds frustrating and annoying! From my end, it seems that in dating, there's an unspoken agreement, that if someone is no longer interested, they can pretty much drop off your face of the planet. I also agree with someone else who said something along the lines of, "they're stringing you along." Of course, if they are at work, they could be busy. Is this person still in contact with you? If so you could ask why it is that they don't message you back.
Thanks for this!
xRavenx
  #6  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 04:29 PM
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Crazy Hitch Crazy Hitch is offline
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It sucks when it's not reciprocated.

I occasionally pop online for a minute at work to see if I have any notifications but I'm not active on FB during work hours, per say.

If they're not replying back within a reasonable time frame, likely they are simply not interested. Would you rather know early on or have them enter a misleading exchange of communications down the garden path of nowhere?
Thanks for this!
xRavenx
  #7  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 08:11 PM
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xRavenx xRavenx is offline
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I wish people communicated more directly nowadays. Text messages are convenient, but they do not substitute real communication. Sometimes someone reading a text but not responding will cause anxiety in doubts when really the person got interrupted. If it's a pattern, that tells you something else though. If someone regularly just reads your text, but does not respond in a timely fashion, I think it's time to move on.

Maybe they'll get back to you eventually, but don't put your life on hold for the person. There are people who will show more interest and show consistent patterns of communication, so it's not worth focusing on the ones who play games or simply do not invest enough in getting to know you or ready for a relationship.
Thanks for this!
~Christina
  #8  
Old Sep 22, 2016, 11:49 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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Yeah true, I will just wait and see what happens with these guys and their communicating and if nothing happens, onto the next one I guess.
  #9  
Old Sep 23, 2016, 11:54 PM
brainy brainy is offline
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I've found that some people have text standards. What I mean is some may feel that certain texts may warrant a response, certain texts don't.
For instance, I know of someone who will not answer what I call "statement texts" such as ones without a question. They'll read such and that's it. Now depending on your tolerance level, that might aggravate, but if that's their standard, then that's their standard.
  #10  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 12:01 AM
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LiteraryLark LiteraryLark is offline
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Is it really that hard to keep your posts to one thread?
Thanks for this!
ComfortablyNumb5
  #11  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 12:15 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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Oh I see what you mean. Well that sucks. I still wish guys would just be mature and just answer what is asked of them, because then I am left wondering well what am I suppose to do?
  #12  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 04:20 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolemyheart87 View Post
Oh I see what you mean. Well that sucks. I still wish guys would just be mature and just answer what is asked of them, because then I am left wondering well what am I suppose to do?
That's nothing to do with maturity. They don't reply because they aren't interested in you. It's not complicated
Thanks for this!
trdleblue
  #13  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 10:39 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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Well why talk to me to begin in and say they are interested and then they can't say they are no longer interested? Its not that hard to do.

Anyway me and the 2 month guy cut ties, so now I am going to see what happens next with the next guys.
  #14  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 11:28 PM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Do you have any girl friends that you can do things with like going to concerts and dinner and stuff?

You are posting about guys and why things aren't the way you want them to be and I was curious why you feel a relationship needs to happen in your life right now.
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  #15  
Old Sep 24, 2016, 11:32 PM
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ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
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I've been following these uhm 4-5 threads now in which one got closed. You're talking about this man in each thread. You're spamming this part of the forum. I do wish you the best but I think you have some growing up to do. I'm going to bow out of all this mess now.
Thanks for this!
LiteraryLark
  #16  
Old Sep 25, 2016, 02:08 PM
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scorpiosis37 scorpiosis37 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolemyheart87 View Post
Well why talk to me to begin in and say they are interested and then they can't say they are no longer interested? Its not that hard to do.

Anyway me and the 2 month guy cut ties, so now I am going to see what happens next with the next guys.
They were probably interested in your profile but lost interest once you two started talking; they realized you were not a match. Since it was only a series of texts, they just stopped talking to you once they realized that. People just don't say "hey, I'm no longer interested in you" on online dating sites, before ever even meeting in person. It's awkward and confrontational, and they haven't invested anything in you yet. They are probably afraid of hurting your feelings or they don't want to have to deal with you asking "why?" Plus, people are usually talking to multiple people at once-- it would be time consuming to bother telling every single person "hey, I'm not interested in you." Don't worry about the guys who are not interested. It's not worth your time.

What do you have going on in your life other than online dating? You seem sooo focused on dating right now. It may be worth exploring other areas of your life and putting more attention there: career, family, friends, hobbies.
  #17  
Old Sep 25, 2016, 02:54 PM
stolemyheart87 stolemyheart87 is offline
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I do have girl friends, but every time I ask them to hang out, they stand me up, cancel on me, or just use and abuse me.

I don't like being alone, I am always alone, since I am only child and have crappy friends I am always alone. So I want a Boyfriend or a guy to date so I can get out more, and know that there is someone that does care and love me etc. Because guys don't like me.

What do you mean growing up to do? I am grown up.

And I ended the story about me and the guy I was seeing for 2 months.

Yeah I know it's not worth my time but it still hurts.

I have a career as a freelance writer/photographer but going to concets, since I don't drive I can't go to them that much. I would like to go to concerts with a guy I am dating that way I am dating and can do my work too.

My family works and my friends never come through or have thier own lives to live out.
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