what does this message really mean?

I wasn't even seeing this guy. just some one at work I've been texting.
he went totally quiet on me for a few days then sends me this...

I want to see your views before I say mine

hey I've been doing some thinking and it's time to call this a day. I understand you not being able to come out whenever you wanted but if you wanted to actually see me outside of work you would have made it happen by now.

I know that if the positions were reversed I would have made sure I knew the potential dates that we could have gone out before I saw my parents and then tried really hard to see if there was a way they could have looked after my child for one evening so that I could have met you...even if it was just for a couple of hours. I could be wrong, but I'm fairly sure that did not happen.

I can handle not being your number one priority. I have said from the beginning that I have no intention of trying to force myself to be that, but I needed to know that I was at least somewhere on the first couple of pages and I simply don't see any sign of that. I don't consider myself a needy guy, but I think most guys would start to suspect there is something wrong.

I really really like you but I think I just have to come to terms with the fact that you don't want the same things I want and exercise a little self preservation. You are all the things I've said you are...beautiful, clever, kind ....and even funny...I meant every word and those things will never change. You are right to be proud of who you are and from what I have seen and learnt, you are an amazing mum.

I don't really know what else to say other than that this totally sucks willys and I wish we could have made things work. Obviously the last thing I want is for any awkwardness between us so if you will have me, I am still keen to be close friends

Xxx

Ok from your first reaction, in the way you posted this here and seem to be confounded by it, I would say most likely he seems to have the impression you acted like you were interested at one point? Since you said "I wasn't even seeing this guy" I would guess that it was unintentional but you can confirm if anything ever happened between you or not. It is easy for someone to misinterpret things, even if we think we are just being nice and friendly to them. I've done it. Misinterpreted how a lady was acting toward me so I know it might be what happened.

I'm not sure what your question is here but that's my interpretation of this.

thanks

I have always acted interested because I am.

I'm upset by what he's written as i find it really harsh.

my free time is limited and I try my hardest to actually create more free time but I can't always do that. the fact he said if I really wanted to thebe I would have by now?

Well it says something about him maybe new information. What it says to me is that he seems to be the type that expects you to go out of your way and make sacrifices if you "really" were interested. Which is kind of a presumptuous thing and even kind of self important if you ask me. That he knew you have other pressing concerns but figures you can just toss them away, maybe you dodged a bullet here?

Ask yourself if you want to get involved with someone that shows signs of this kind of dynamic when you haven't even dated him yet.

Did he ever actually ask you out? Does he accept that you need advance notice to arrange child care, that you cant just call home at the last minute and say, oh i will be late tonite, thanks mum?!

What they said ^^^.

Thinking about the topic of raising kids. I really would have preferred the full 2 hour block tonight for a work meeting. They offered 2 different time blocks but the 1st block required my leaving early to pick my kids instead of scavenge arrangements. And I certainly wouldn't want to take advantage of others generosity. But that's just work that came to mind.

Taking advantage of generosity is the position this would put you in.

If he's feeling needy and out of sorts, that's his cross to bear.

I'm don't understand your response?

I'm talking about how there's things that I would prefer to do, such as a 2 hour full meeting that was offsite as opposed to showing up and leaving early due to my child care restraints. Could I have taken advantage of the generosity of whomever I'd have dropped them off with? Perhaps. Yet, one time leads to more times and suddenly I've created a rift with the individual(s) for attending to my responsibility. Which is what, in fact, this man is alluding to your needing to do to prove yourself to him.

He writes that he doesn't think of himself as needy. But that's how in fact it comes accross. He's apparently out of sorts by virtue of expressing all of this.

Hedgeleaf,

That seems really off base for him to criticize that you could have made arrangements for someone to watch your kid so you could spend time with him...If someone said that to me about my dog I'd walk away. So just walk away.

I think this guy sounds way too needy. I would just respond and be like, sorry you feel that way. And then move on.

Seesaw