[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I watch too much conspiracy stuff. It's the closest thing I have to a hobby. Recently, I downloaded and was listening to one man's lectures on how we're being socially engineered to asically downgrade ourselves and "cull our own population", mainly by destroying the character of people in general. By "feminizing" men to be compliant and unquestioning, and conditioning women to be okay with that.

I certainly seem to be "conditioned" despite lacking access to many of the things that allegedly cause it:

(I didn't bother with part three)

*I hate sex and find it disgusting. I'm not even kidding when I say my disturbance over that is one of the main reasons I'm trying to get feedback on here that isn't a conspiracy echo-chamber. According to this, I'm like this not as a normal variation or due to any screwups of my brain that misinterpreted things, but because I'm culturally brainwashed. And of course, my view that sex is a power game can't possibly have any validity to it, right???

I really like Passio's view of what sex should be - an emotional, intimate bonding experience. u it's an ideal, and an ideal that's incredibly susceptible to being used against someone. I actually don't see the "monetary" interpretation too much IRL - more like it's no different from eating a nice meal or playing a game. Fun, but nothing special. Which is disturbing to me.

In all honestly, I kind of support a somewhat "puritanical" view of sex, and if anything, shouldn't abstinence promote spiritual, "familial" bonding?

I don't know where he gets this crazy shiz that we're really super-repressed. I don't see it among people in general. :/

*I view money as security. No, it isn't perfect security, and listening to the conspiracy circuit has actually made me want to learn more off-the-grid type survival skills and be able to do more for myself; and I find I'm getting pretty disillusioned already with the working lifestyle. But I maintain (unless it's brainwashing and therefore wrong) that money is not itself bad, it's just a tool. You use it to acquire things, needed and not. If you do unscrupulous things to get money, or worship it like a religion, then there's a problem.

*No, I do not want a man who's ruggedly independent, "strong", or whatever else. It hurts to admit but it's too threatening. I want someone I can be "weak" with, whom I don't have to be afraid of.

There's other stuff too, but I can't think of it atm. Hopefully this doesn't get edited out or anything, though it's mostly a vent/rant on some new reasons to not trust myself...

[Molinit]

You seem disturbed at times with the concept that something is wrong with you, but you spend an extraordinary amount of time looking for what might be wrong.

As I've suggested before, doing for OTHERS and leading a life that is outside YOU will get you less obsessed with you.

Do you have friends? Activities that are done with other people other than work?

[Cyllya]

I didn't watch the video (for reasons that can be summarized as "I'm too lazy") but I had some thoughts....

I definitely think there is some push throughout society to stamp out certain traits and behaviors that were considered acceptable in the recent past. Some of those traits and behaviors were associated with gender, so you could look at it as "feminizing" men and "masculinizing" women so that people are more in the middle instead of some pathological extreme. Like, it's no longer acceptable for men (or anyone) to be some kind of hyper-aggressive domineering maniac who solves problems with violence and it's frowned upon for women (or anyone) to be subservient doormats. Everyone is encouraged to be rational assertive people who can have a nice calm discussion about emotions. I agree with most of these changes. I wouldn't consider it any kind of "conspiracy" because there's no element of secrecy to it. I agree with most of these kinds of pushes.

I agree with your opinion of money. I think a no-money society is theoretically possible and probably preferable, but as it stands now, it just makes sense for most people to be highly concerned ("obsessed") with money. I think a lot of people who complain about other people being too obsessed with money are taking too much of a black-and-white viewpoint. Sometimes those folks seem to be kind of rich and out-of-touch with what other people's options actually are.

I think one source of society-wide money problems is that various circumstances cause employers to be pretty motivated to employ the smallest possible number of people and milk them for all they're worth. If you have a job that pays well, you probably don't need the amount of money that they pay you for working 40 hours per week, but they probably won't give you an option to regularly work fewer hours. Your options are 40 hours or 0 hours! (In the past, hard work and suffering were considered virtues, and I don't think society has quite shaken off that idea yet. So I wonder if some people would feel bad about working less, even if they could afford to?)

Advertisements often say or imply that you "need" their product even when that is not true. I'm not sure if there's anyone who actually believes they literally need those products just because the advertisements said so (I always took that as sort of a figure of speech), but I do know there are people who think those people exist and write condescending articles addressed to them.

It's totally okay to not like sex. It's bad/disadvantageous, albeit understandable, to be disgusted by it. I think there is probably some cultural programming (or cultural brainwashing, if you prefer) in both the disgust AND in any "you have to like sex" backlash you might be getting from other people. I think it tends to go like this: When you're a kid, your parents and the rest of society try to make you hate sex as much as possible, then when puberty kicks in, it usually makes you like sex in certain contexts enough to override that repression, but it remains disgusting in other contexts. It seems like it's actually very common for people who like sex to be disgusted by sex (or anything they perceive as sex-related) when it's not what they're into. (Not sure how common. It might look more common than it is.) But if you're not into any kind of sex (as a normal variation), it makes sense that the disgust will continue to apply to all contexts.

Meanwhile, since society in recent history was very anti-sex (and that attitude still lingers in some circles), people nowadays who are pro-sex may stereotype you as having other motivations for your sex-disliking ways. Again, a matter of black-and-white thinking. I'm optimistic that society as a whole will balance out its views on sex someday. I think the last few decades is the first time in written history where most people can actually choose how much sex they want without severe social repercussions, and we haven't really adjusted to this yet!

I don't think there's anything wrong with NOT thinking of sex as some emotional intimate bonding experience. I guess I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking that way either, but it seems potentially impractical. (Actually, many people put a lot of emotional baggage onto food, and I see some people advocate that that's a GOOD thing, but I feel like it's super-unhealthy to romanticize bodily functions like that. However, since sex is less biologically necessary than food, it's not as problematic.) I remember I used to have that kind of spiritual feeling about sex; I don't remember why I changed...

I'm a bit odd in that I don't like actually having sex but I think sex is super-interesting, i.e. a great topic for art, fiction, and song lyrics. This seems to baffle some people.

(Wow, that's a lot of text. Apparently I was feeling talkative.)

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by Molinit

You seem disturbed at times with the concept that something is wrong with you, but you spend an extraordinary amount of time looking for what might be wrong.

As I've suggested before, doing for OTHERS and leading a life that is outside YOU will get you less obsessed with you.

Do you have friends? Activities that are done with other people other than work?

I feel crazy. Like, I've been obsessing over the topic of this thread for almost a day and it's finally dying down, something kind of ridiculous and pointless even. At the very least, something fixable.

I worry there's a part of me that wants to have something wrong with me - something to define me, to explain and justify me. A new revelation will sometimes disturb me, other times I embrace it.

I'm not sure living for others is going to help. In fact, I tend to fight and run anytime someone proposes that as a solution to my problems. I know this self-obsession leads nowhere, probably is making me crazier than I ever was, but..I can't explain why pulling out of it for more than a short burst feels...wrong?

No, I don't have friends or activities. I haven't had friends since I was in the single-digits, and I gave up most of my activities years ago. I can't make myself care much about anything these days. I think about stuff, but that's it.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Another thing that crawled into my mind this morning, linked to this, is the old science vs spirituality argument. Videos like this propose nonbiological, even spiritual explanations for human behavior, outright rejecting more materialistic, scientific explanation. It certainly seems to poke holes in the notion that we are "spiritual beings inhabiting earthly bodies". If that's so, how can we accept evolutionary explanations for our traits or behavior?

I maintain myself that we are capable of meaningful, spiritual emotion; that we have a spiritual side that's quite real. But we're still physical animals, with evolutionarily adapted brains, some more so than others. I don't see how it makes any sense to try to ignore or deny that (or how it negates anything more transcendent).

[LucyG]

Strange you should bring this up as the WikiLeaks emails from Hillary's campaign manager Podesta talks about how the government wants to 'produce an unaware and compliant citizenry...' https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/...ce_an_unaware/

If you were to read the writings of people like Bill Clinton's mention Carol Quigley who wrote a book called Tragedy and Hope detailing the goals and plans of the elite who control the politicians, you'd find that they do have a plan to socially engineer us, and dumb us down so they can control us.

One example you might be aware of is the fact that billionaire George Soros who is a Nazi collaborator is funding Black Lives Matter, and bussing people to cities to riot when a black man is killed. He gave over $33,000,000 to fund the riots in Ferguson in 2014. This is to cause racial divide in this country, and to get people to turn against the police.

Another example that is quite well known is how the CIA recruited black musicians to start playing rap music that glorified violence so young people would think that it's normal, act out that way and end up in the private prisons they were building. Here's an account of it from a former music executive who was at the meeting back in the early 1990s.

"The Secret Meeting that Changed Rap Music and Destroyed a Generation" | Hip Hop Is Read

[divine1966]

My husband sometimes gets into conspiracies. He has severe OCD and only does it when it flairs up or when he occasionally forgets his medicine. Luckily he is very busy with his job and hobbies and our marriage/family/kids and can't indulge in this nonsense. Are you on any meds? Do you work? Get yourself busy with real stuff

[Molinit]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I feel crazy. Like, I've been obsessing over the topic of this thread for almost a day and it's finally dying down, something kind of ridiculous and pointless even. At the very least, something fixable.

I worry there's a part of me that wants to have something wrong with me - something to define me, to explain and justify me. A new revelation will sometimes disturb me, other times I embrace it.

I'm not sure living for others is going to help. In fact, I tend to fight and run anytime someone proposes that as a solution to my problems. I know this self-obsession leads nowhere, probably is making me crazier than I ever was, but..I can't explain why pulling out of it for more than a short burst feels...wrong?

No, I don't have friends or activities. I haven't had friends since I was in the single-digits, and I gave up most of my activities years ago. I can't make myself care much about anything these days. I think about stuff, but that's it.

If you enjoy this mental masturbation (in essence) all day long then go for it, but you sound very unhappy with your life in your posts. Maybe you don't mean for it to come off that way but it does.

Somehow I suspect medication has been recommended in the past and you aren't on any now.