[Artchic528]

If you have been following my saga, the latest guy I was talking to was a mega drama case (Married but wanted to have a girlfriend he could leave his marriage for). So, I ceased all contact with him and another guy, J, started sending me messages on the site. J seamed really interested at first, sending me a very nice message, then talking to me after I replied, and even giving me his number so we could text.

He and I then began texting each other than night, and then around 10 or so, he stopped. I assumed he had fallen asleep or something. The following day passed without a word, and then today, the second day after our first conversation, he texted me back with pictures of his two cats, and I replied with pictures of my own cat. His messages were short though, only one or two words long. I decided it was time to bring the conversation around toward us meeting in person, so I asked about his tattoos, and wanting to see them sometime. No response.

Is J even at all interested? I asked him what he was looking for relationship wise and he said he wanted to have a good friendship that would blossom into a full blown long term romance. He also said he'd be in it for the long haul. Since I'm not really actively looking for romance right now, per say, I thought having someone I could talk to and hang out with for a while would be nice.

I mean, I go through phases where I want this and that, and then I pull a complete 180 and am like "meh" about the stuff I want. Right now, I'm in the "meh" phase. I'm pretty content with where my life is right now, and wouldn't want to complicate someone else's life with my emotional drama. So, a friend right now sounds pretty damn good. Especially so as I have none to speak of.

Anyways, I'm writing your ears off, aren't I? The point I'm trying to get at is if J is truly interested, or not. I mean, is he struggling to find a way out of being my friend, in a way that doesn't make him look like a complete and total jerk, or is he just flustered and bashful?

[TishaBuv]

You're getting much better at this. I like how you approached meeting him in person.

Does he live close enough? It sounds like he likes you. Being friends is a good idea.

I'd say don't talk online for too long each time and gently steer it to meeting in person again as friends, suggest a movie or something.

If he won't, you're getting roped in to an online guy that won't amount to anything.

[Artchic528]

Well, liking me is good to hear but he hasn't responded to my asking about meeting up irl. I do feel a fluttering in my chest over the anxiety of being uncertain if he wants to or not, almost to the point of jumping to my phone after every noise it makes.

He lives just south of me, about half an hour's drive away in the same city.

I think I'll do some dusting and then walk the dogs so I am not just sitting around waiting and getting increasingly more anxious as time goes on.

[TishaBuv]

We should start a thread A to Z Things To Do While Waiting For A Guy To Call!

[Artchic528]

It's been 2 hours. Is he likely to respond past this point?

[TishaBuv]

Just wait. That's all you can do. Leave the ball in his court.

[Moogieotter]

Please just wait.

You're doing good.

[divine1966]

Stay busy. If he replies good. If not move on. Good luck!

[A Red Panda]

Not replying for a few hours is normal and healthy.

It's also nice that he wants to be friends first.

He might not want to meet right off the bat. Some people do and others don't. I'm someone who prefers to not meet within a short time period - it freaks me out actually. I like to know that I can just chat a bit and already feel like I kind of know someone before I agree to meet in person.

[Artchic528]

Okay. I have yet to hear from him. It's been nearly 7 or so hours (not that I've been counting or anything).

I, myself, fell asleep after walking the dogs, and woke up just shy of 15 minutes ago. I do that sometimes, fall asleep for a couple hours or so and wake back up. It's annoying as can be but it is what it is. I can always roll over and go back to sleep if I still feel tired enough.

Anyways, I guess it's still a waiting game, so I better get that knitting out (and cue the Jeopardy music while I'm at it) as the minutes tick on by. That clock won't stare at itself ya know.

[Crazy Hitch]

Let us know how it goes

[Artchic528]

It's nearly noon the next day and still nothing. I've written a letter to one of my two penpals, and worked a little on my knitting, while browsing this forum off and on. I also have some other things I could be doing, like washing the dishes and whatnot.

I feel still feel kind of "meh" right now, but will keep on checking my phone every now and again to see if anything has changed.

[TishaBuv]

I remember the old days of waiting by the phone for the call. We didn't have cell phones, not even an answering machine. Literally waited by the phone!

Then, if and when they call, you act like you've been so busy and not anxiously waiting on them at all.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I remember the old days of waiting by the phone for the call. We didn't have cell phones, not even an answering machine. Literally waited by the phone!

Then, if and when they call, you act like you've been so busy and not anxiously waiting on them at all.

This cracked me up

[Artchic528]

So its been a full 24 hrs and not one text. I'm really struggling with waiting around, so I snapped a few pics of myself, nothing fancy, just a couple shots of me smiling, and am just about to send them off to him. Is this a good or bad idea?

[Moogieotter]

Methinks not a good idea.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Methinks not a good idea.

Why not?

[Moogieotter]

Sorry you are struggling. I'm always rooting for you.

I know its not your style, but I think your style might be giving you results you do not enjoy. I would go ahead and find someone else to text and try to meet. Just my advice to you as your friend.

Won't hurt to semd him pics or more texts, unless this makes you feel even more invested with a guy who is not putting real effort into meeting you.

moogs

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Sorry you are struggling. I'm always rooting for you.

I know its not your style, but I think your style might be giving you results you do not enjoy. I would go ahead and find someone else to text and try to meet. Just my advice to you as your friend.

Won't hurt to semd him pics or more texts, unless this makes you feel even more invested with a guy who is not putting real effort into meeting you.

moogs

Do you have any suggestions that will give me better results and don't involve many guys at once? The "multiple guys at once" route wouldn't really work with my case. Mostly because I don't have many guys come to look at my profile, much less leave messages, and also because it gives me major anxiety to have to see multiple guys at the same time. I'm a simple girl, and need a simple way to go about this.

Hi Artchic...
Please don't send any photos.

[Artchic528]

What is so bad about sending a photo or two? It's not like I'm sending anything racy, like nudes.

It isn't the raciness, it's timing. He hasn't replied back yet about meeting. When he does, you could ask him if he'd like a pic so he recognises you. Unless there are some on your profile. I'd only send pics of myself to close friends, not someone I've just met. And TBH yo might meet him and not like him and then worry about what he does with your pics. Less is more, you know?!

I agree with what has been said.

It comes across as a little bit of a desperate move to get him to answer. I am not criticizing you, that's just how it seems to me (since you asked).

If you think it's an okay thing to do, then nobody here can stop you.

[A Red Panda]

I wouldn't send any pictures right now.

Only because it's not like mid-convo or anything. Sending a picture as a prompt to get a reply does come off as desperate.

As its been a full day I don't see the harm in going "heya! How was your day?" Don't ask why he hadn't replied or repeat what you last said, just a hey is fine.

[TishaBuv]

"He and I then began texting each other than night, and then around 10 or so, he stopped. I assumed he had fallen asleep or something. The following day passed without a word, and then today, the second day after our first conversation, he texted me back with pictures of his two cats, and I replied with pictures of my own cat. His messages were short though, only one or two words long. I decided it was time to bring the conversation around toward us meeting in person, so I asked about his tattoos, and wanting to see them sometime. No response. "

You started texting with this guy, and he abruptly stops, leaving you wondering.

Two days later, he reminds himself about you, texts you photos of cats and very few words.

You casually steer the convo to meeting in person and dead silence....

Forget it. Maybe he'll get back to you/ maybe he won't. Don't be desperate.