[AVerySadThrow]

I guess this goes here...couldn't find another place as fitting, so my apologies if this is wrong.

I've been in a lot of pain recently, that's been so bad its been keeping me up tonight, to the point that I can't even sleep, and its that fundamentally I'm unlovable. Its just time to face the music at this point. I'm unlovable. I've never been loved, shown affection, or even had someone reciprocate interest in me when I took initiative, so its not for lack of trying. I've never been on a date, or had any girl (I'm a lesbian) remotely interested in me. I'm so horrifically lonely, and in such constant physical and emotional pain from skin hunger, loneliness, and a lack of EVER experiencing love or connection from anyone, and I just can't take it anymore.

Hell even when I look for people who've had experiences like mine, and even when I've looked for advice, I'm just reminded about my inadequacy over and over again. Even the worst I've seen my age (21) have at least SOME dating experience under their belt even if they've never been in a fully committed relationship. Meanwhile here I am hopelessly single, never been on a date before, and never even had someone interested in me, and stuck in a situation where literally every single lesbian I know has a girlfriend, and the ONE I've met otherwise has eyes for another.

Its just simple math as well. All you have to do is do the maths, and there's no chance in hell I'll ever find someone willing to date someone like me who's high maintenance and damaged goods...let alone that given person having a mutual interest in me. I'm just beyond what almost all people would consider for a partner, and its just becoming blatantly more apparent as times goes on.

I guess I also just realize that I'm really not deserving of someone's love. After all, all I'll be one anyone who can put up with me is a burden and an inconvenience, and its not like my looks or lack of knowledge regarding how to be a good girlfriend will help me at all. Overall, I'm just not worthy of someone's love. It's literally unfair to whoever enters into a relationship with me. I literally have no redeeming qualities to balance it out, and thus I don't deserve to be loved. Admitting that, it...literally...physically...hurts...

[Biba_yu]

So sorry to read this. But as someone who is MUCH older than you, I hope I can say that it will get better. You are so so young. And here is a little secret, I was a virgin until I was 24! So, at 21 I was a lot like you, I can relate to your feelings. I think that I soon as you break that barrier, meaning have your first relationship, even short one, it will start to get easier. Beginning is horrible always so be prepared, but be also brave. It's not easy to find someone you will love and who will love you too, granted, many of us feel the same. So be prepared for some short and not so great relationships in life, but it's important to start! Everyone was rejected in life several times. It's though but it happens. Each experience in relationship will make you stronger.
I am so sure you are not unlovable, probably just shy and insecure.
And you are not alone, look at this board, there is so many of us who feel the same.
You so deserve someone's love, remember that. Never ever think you don't.

[AVerySadThrow]

I can understand being a virgin at 24. I can imagine being in one's first real relationship in their early-20s. What tears me apart is that I don't even have that going for me. I've literally had not ONE person be interested in me, nor have I had ONE person reciprocate feelings when I approached them. Didn't get asked to any dances, never been on a date. Literally never had any experience with anyone actually caring about me.

Being a relationship virgin when you're in your late teens can be "cute" or "innocent", but when you start getting into college age people are more likely to just hold that against you on top of everything else. People aren't looking for some clueless girl that doesn't know what the hell she's doing, or doesn't even understands or has received love before.

I mean, for Pete's sake, I can't even find someone who's single. Literally every single person I know, with the exception of the one mentioned previously, has a boyfriend, girlfriend, and even a few have married at this point. Even if I was deserving of love, or lovable, there's nothing which I can work with. Let alone something that might actual be mutual attraction...

Plus like I said I'm just going to be an unfair burden on someone if I ever do end up in a relationship. It'd be a one-way street because I'm so emotionally screwed up that they'd probably just get annoyed at me not having any redeeming qualities to bring to the relationship, and get tired of me. I'm just damaged goods, and I doubt anyone will see me as worth the trouble or time.

[Biba_yu]

I can relate to some of your problems. When you are a virgin at 20+ most guys run away from you, because they really don't want someone who has no sexual experience. Yours case may be similar. That is why I wrote beginning is hardest.
Why do you think you have no redeeming qualities? You are surely not objective on this. Now I am going to sound like some "dear Abby", but this is my personal experience so... please, try not to think about relationships so much, find something you really love to do, music, painting, cooking, bicycle riding, hiking... whatever floats your boat. Find club or any places where people with similar interests meet and do not try to find relationship. Just enjoy doing what you like to do. Let people see you at your best! I did not have any friends until I was well in my early 20s, and I was desperate! I thought nobody likes me. Then I found that in my city there is a club of people who love comic art and also like to make it! I love comics so I joined. Those were my first friends. Now as a busy working single mom I am again desperate for friends but no time to join some club, but I would have to! And so should you. Don't think about it so much. I know it sounds like a cliche but when you stop obsessing it will be better.

[Talthybius]

You burn yourself down to the ground. We can say nice things about you because we suspect no one is as unlikable as you describe yourself, but we don't know you, so whatever nice things we might try to say, they are just guesses and they won't affect you.

If other people think you think that lowly of yourself, they won't be attracted to you.

It seems you are female and lesbian. That always sounded so difficult to me, to decrease the odds. But then maybe when you find someone who is lesbian and who is single, it may be that more obvious to both instantly to try out if something can happen. I don't know. I guess homosexual people have their own strategies to overcome these difficulties in finding out compatible people.

You don't say what you have actually tried. Also don't know the dynamics of a lesbian relationship. If both are as passive as the average female, maybe not much will happen.

[2467]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am a straight female, and I am in my 20's. I feel completely unlovable and even unlikable as I have never been asked on a date, have never had someone be romantically interested in me and its gotten to the point where people around me (friends and family) are wondering if theres something I am doing that makes me so unappealing. Not having been in a relationship at this age is hard enough, but when no one at all seems to like you back it really starts to make you believe that you are somehow the problem. I, like you, feel as if I have nothing to offer anyone.