Ways to communicate..

And if I have avoidant personalitu disorder and OCD who do me various complexes in communication. I have need to communicate, not too much, because it bothers me in the operation.

I have one friend from high school and one friend from college and I see them rarely, once every few months.I took great hope in a regional forum like this. It seems to me that people in it are more correspondence on the internet and arrange meetings, but I am not succeeding.

Next year I will spend in the house in the countryside and do not have any friends here. The plan is that in this time I occasionally going to the city to the exams because I am a graduate student, other thing is to try make money via the Internet (amazon affilate).If it fails then I might find something to do in a more developed country, if even that fails may I kill myself if I stop thinking what will happen to my parents.

Otherwise my diagnosis give me a variety of strange things, from the fact that one of the reasons I do not use Facebok thought that I would kill myself and others will find out that and feel guilty, if in real nobody cares about anyone. I online have feeling that all the enamel in me and laughing. On Forums I obsessive about everything that I say have a bad influence on others, sometimes I see myself as a spy as Rose from Two and a half men. In reality falling in a platonic love for most of the girls with I need to communicate and lately I can not even eye contact to realize. Sometime I think I can be a support for girls who do not have a chance, but then I think I'm lying to myself just looking for sex, like other potential friends first I think I want to hang out normal and then I think that want to be just fine for me.... My whole life is connected to suffering and psychopathology and me do not attract fancy going out, facebok things selfie and other marketing things. Sometimes I feel to have a lot of energy for socializing that would be shameful to manifest, and sometimes I think I'm dumb and incapable of anything.
By writing this I went too far... to the confession.

So the greatest hope lay in getting people through twoforums in my region, I do not use facebook. So is it because of my mind that I can not find anyone to communicate and involve in community, how to change it?

Hey there Alchemist

Do you mind adding the trigger icon when you make posts about death and thinking of killing yourself under different scenarios. It's the red circle with the black cross in it. That way it gives the readers of your post a heads up that you're talking about something that could be triggering.

You sound like you're living in some kind of remote place where you won't necessarily have access to people all the time. If you do start working at Amazon there's an opportunity there to meet people.

Why did you move from Spain all the way to Serbia? Well, previously your profile location said Spain. That's like moving from the North Pole to the Desert. I'd imagine it's quite culturally different and you'll be adjusting to that too.

Do you have any contact at all with your family? Even on Skype?

Crazy Hitch thanks for the replies.
I did not know for the trigger icon.

I am not a Spaniard. Maybe there was some error in the location profile. Yeah, I think that we and Spaniards alike they are litle pervasive and open, we manipulative and poorer

Amazon will not bring me friendship, I do not know English well (it can be seen from the writings here), for some texts I pay the translation, I'd do the technical stuff: niche site, seo ...and I am beginner, plan is to do this about two years then do what I was studing. Communication with strangers I go through only by writting, I speaking and speech understanding very poor.

I do not really have good relations in the family, I do not have high expectations of it, as well as in communication in my countryside, the plan for the next year is departure of the city there I with my socio phobia, feel more freedom.

So my problem are the diagnosis and social situation and...all pieces of ****, as I am accursed . I wondered how in the period that I spent in the house, to make friendsship via the forum. I do not have success even in this.

Hang in there, you'll start to make friends on PsychCentral as people get to know you

I would like it but I need a lot of time that I have written something which is a problem, skpe english talking no way it is reason why I'm targeting similar forums in my region, but I will try to be active and here.