[stefmcdee]

My mom got remarried after I was already an adult. I recently moved across the country with my mom. I have been living with her for a few months now but have previously been out of the house for four years. Her new wife is not working and according to my mom they have an agreement that her wife won't take a job until she finds something she is truly happy with. Now that means that my mom has been paying for absolutely everything for her. Including her heavy alcohol intake. I'm working my hardest to get out of the house and back out on my own but I wiped out my entire savings when I moved. My mom has been patient with me over everything. I am currently working two jobs and am about to take on a third. Even with all that her wife chooses to nit pick me about every little thing. Her wife demands respect from me without giving it in return. I am bipolar and therefore overly emotional when it comes to these things. I do my best to stay in my tiny loft and out of the way. I do everything they ask of me. I'm not always happy about it but I do it. I am just so frustrated and at my wits end. I have tried so hard to be respectful but her wife puts all these rules on me without following them herself. It frustrates me because my mom has been in a long term relationship before where she was the provider and taken advantage of, so in all I'm having a hard time coping and keeping my emotions in control and I'm worried about my mother.

[Skeezyks]

Hello stefmcdee: I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation. Personally I don't see any solution here other than for you to get back out on your own as quickly as possible. There is nothing you can do to impact the relationship between your mom & her wife. That is between them. You simply have to focus on taking care of yourself by getting out on your own asap.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Originally Posted by stefmcdee

Her new wife is not working and according to my mom they have an agreement that her wife won't take a job until she finds something she is truly happy with...

...It frustrates me because my mom has been in a long term relationship before where she was the provider and taken advantage of, so in all I'm having a hard time coping and keeping my emotions in control and I'm worried about my mother.

Your mom has created the same situation again. Not working is the "something" that the new wife is likely "truly happy with". Maybe your mom wants this arrangement for some reason, but you might point it out to her anyway. Adjust your own expectations accordingly. I'm sorry that you're in a tight spot.

[stefmcdee]

Thank you both for your replies. It was a hard day yesterday. (Is any day really easy when you are bipolar though Lol) Her wife wants me to act like we are in a roommate situation without actually treating me like a roommate. I am not allowed to have any of my personal belongings in common spaces and I have been given less than one third of the space to live in (Including in the fridge/pantry). I'm not allowed to eat anything that they purchased but hardly have enough space to store anything for myself. If I use any of their dishes her wife accuses me of ruining it even though I always wash whatever I used immediately. They demand that I keep my noise level down but her wife blares the TV or music all the time and my loft has no door. Even when I have mentioned these things nothing is done to resolve them. It's all just really frustrating and it's a little bit hurtful that my mom doesn't stand up for me.