[notverywell]

I was ostracized by the few people I considered friends in the foreign country I am living in. I cant seem to start getting my social life back cus I lost all self esteem. I feel as though I am worthless and have nothing to offer thats why it was easy for them to cut me off. All because I didnt tell them I was gonna start dating my current boyfriend (who was also part of the group). I feel sad thinking what couldve been if there was just some conversation. But I think theyre now more comfortable with us not in the picture. As though we just dont exist. When I see them on social media, I just feel sad, and I have FOMO, because we are always just completely ignored and uninvited and unwanted. Everyone I know is friends with them. I feel done. Like my world is limited and surrounded by people who dislike me. How do I continue living?

[Skeezyks]

Hello notverywell: I'm sorry you have had this unfortunate experience. Hopefully you & your bf will be able to get out & make new friends. Doing so will, perhaps, help to alleviate the loss you have suffered. I wish you both well...

[LaDauphine]

I remember feeling like this a few times when I was in my twentysomethings. (I'm 30 now, but it feels like a lifetime ago.)

I remember panicking when events (NYE, birthdays, etc.) were coming up and I wasn't sure of my "station" within the group. Will I be invited? Wanted?

It's almost sad how being in the in can make us feel so high and being on the outs can make us feel so low. The times I was in control of planning the event, inviting/uninviting people, etc. always felt like the "good" nights out.

As I got older, however, I learned it really has very little to do with not being worthy. Turst me, you ARE worthy. Group dynamics can change at the drop of a hat and there's not MUCH we can.

The only thing you CAN do is make yourself more valuable. Be the planner. The organizer. You may even have to be the bank. I've noticed she who has the money to put the down payment on the club access has the power.

Good luck! x0x0

I have been ostracized by a group on a few occasions. It was very painful. In my case it was violent and did me great harm emotionally and physically. If you look up the unfortunate results of being ostracized, you will find it does a great deal of emotional harm. Look up all that it causes and you will probably not be shocked to learn you are feeling many of the things listed as possible outcomes of the action. I hope you find some ways to heal. Some new friends who are more caring and loyal. Some new confidence in being left. When someone abandons us, we have the option to learn and grow more confident in who we are when other people are removed from the equation. We can learn to self smooth and become more independently reliant. I'm wishing nothing but good things for your future. (((Hugs)))

[mugwort2]

I understand you're hurting very much these days. Is it possible to find new friends where you are. Perhaps joining a support group or a club with an interest your interested in. Good luck to you. Hugs. I remember in high school it was all clicks except for one group that was the click rejects. I was in that group. I can relate.