[fosterthehuman]

I've posted something like this before, i brought up how difficult it is to have my adhd and socialize with other people at times for certain reasons. Recently i've been extremely reluctant on making new friends or talking to others that i would have usually talked to. there's many reasons cause of this, i've been feeling overwhelmed and have been loosing a lot if self confidence in myself but blah blah whatever. also, a huge reason

i've been acting like this is because i've just been feeling inadequate to others. i feel like my best isn't really goo enough, and ik that i'm doing a lot of begative thinking and not puting myself out there so let people get to know me, but it's just been really difficult. especially when you have put yourself out there in the past, only to be put down or humilated.

also, i struggle with social anxiety, and i'm not diagnosed for this but i might also have an avoidance disorder cause i tend to have many of those symptoms as well.

i tend to use examples alot of things that have happend to me, it just helps me vent and try to get over things. but there was this one time when i was camping at with a youth group I regularly went to in senior high school. when we had areived to the campsite, i had accidently grabbed only one of my suicases instead of both and when i got to the cabin, i told one of the girls living with me that i forgot a bag.

i asked one of them if they could come to the bus and walk with me or at least let me know how i can get back to the bus area. i remember them kind of awkwardly looking at me (they never were mean to me, it just seemed like they were suprised or like "that sucks" look idk).

we eventually found a counselor to tell us how to get to the bus, and said that we had to take a 2 min ride from this other counselor cause it would be faster. and were riding with them to the bus and i tried making conversation "aren't you guys cold? i aee you're only wearing a shirt and shorts" cause it was winter camp and there was snow everywhere. but the counselor's response was "well you're the one who forgot their suitcase" ugh i'll never forget that. it fricking sucks. i wish this stuff didn't bother me. idk

idk, im venting but i aslo wonder if this is all just me. i'm open to socializing and i want to make friends, advice would be nice, i just want to feel like i'm not a screw up

[Skeezyks]

Hello fosterthehuman: We never know what's in someone else's mind when they say whatever it is they say. I do think that some people are better at just letting go of experiences such as you describe than other people are. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you are, perhaps, particularly sensitive & easily hurt. This may be something that you could work on with a therapist if you see one. But it is also true, I think, that it's important not to let these types of experiences deter you. The more you get out there & socialize, the more likely it is that, over time, you'll become less socially sensitive. At least that is my perspective.

Keep in mind that the opinion I'm about to give is based on my own experience as a person with severe social anxiety, some agoraphobia from time to time, bipolar and some PTSD.

I'm a different sort of person. When I'm stable or depressed I'm very quiet. I go with the flow and rarely give an opinion on anything. Not enough energy or confidence. Cause the truth is I am different and usually see things much different than the majority of people. So it's best that I don't involve myself in debates of any kind because it's rare someone is even capable of seeing my point of view. So when stable or depressed I'm just very observant and quiet. People seem intrigued by quiet types. Not everyone, but some people enjoy pulling you out of your shell and you will experience great pleasure when meeting people with this quality. It will feel like home. Then I have my paranoid side which can't be around people and agoraphobia sets in as does other very unfunctional thought processes. So I allow myself my time away and those who love me are still by my side when I come out the other end. Manic me gives my opinion too freely and I alienate myself from others but it does feel good to think you have something to say I guess. It has its upsides.

My advise to you is to put great effort into working on your social anxiety and putting yourself out there. So many wonders await you when you open up to the right people. You will have experiences beyond your wildest imagination. So see a doctor and get some help so you can get on to the adventure making. (((Hugs))))