Is it cheating? Is it understandable?

I have bipolar, and it has been a source of tension in my marriage since my diagnosis. His biggest complaint is that I don't do enough of my therapy homework. Somewhat founded. Well he is on a business trip this week, and we have been talking during my lunchtime everyday (he is in Thailand). Things were fine until we talked today and he said "oh, me and the other guy went out for a beer and we ended up at this strip club and then these girls started making out with us!" His (and MY) boss was there, and he just walked away saying he did not want to get involved. So obviously this went on for quite some time.
I feel cheated on, but at the same time I wonder if I am being over dramatic. The thing that bugs me is he said he did it because he was acting out because he had been hurting in our relationship. I don't want to completely dismiss what he is saying, but part of me thinks that's an awfully convenient excuse!
Help!

If I were you, his actions would not sit well with me. The way he told you, though, it seems like he thinks it wasn't too big of a deal. I think you should express to him how his actions made you feel.

That is definately cheating and while it probably does complicate things if there is tension in your marriage, it's still no excuse. (((Hugs))))

I would definately have more to say on this topic if I were in your situation (((hugs)))

Yes, I would consider this cheating and it would probably be a deal breaker for me.

You're having Bipolar is not the problem.

Altho he did tell you what was going on its still him being a shytty human.

I have Bipolar.... Bipolar doesn't mean we have to accept being treated terribly.

Are you in couples counseling? Sounds like it would be really helpful.

Yes this is a form of cheating in my opinion.

You deserve love and respect❤️

This is no joke. The sex tourism industry in Thailand has made it a minefield for STDs; I remember reading in Laurie Garrett's The Coming Plague that at the height of the international epidemic, 85% of sex workers in Chiang Mai tested positive for HIV. That was a while ago, but Thailand is still no place for your husband to "act out" sexually and you should have him thoroughly fumigated upon his return so that he doesn't infect you with a case of antibiotic-resistant sea monkeys and blame it on your lack of dedication to your "therapy homework". I've seen hostess bars in Bangkok from the street and they are the tackiest, most meat-market misogynistic places you can imagine; the fact that a married man patronized such an establishment does not speak well of him.

There are so many things wrong there I don't know where to start. So I won't I would question why he told you the way he did. And I wouldn't let him anywhere near me until he had been thoroughly tested...just incase.

All the best, hope you find a solution.

Without a doubt, this is, hands down, cheating.

a person in a committed and exclusive relationship is supposed to be wholeheartedly devoted and faithful to the spouse or SO.

I can't tell you what you should do, but I know that, like other people here, would be a deal breaker for me.

I wanted to also say a couple other things here. first, your bipolar is in no way an excuse for him. Yes I am sure that any specific problems, mentally or otherwise are tension makers in a marriage but just keep in mind whether one has a mental illness or not, they bring unique challenges to every relationship and you are not alone nor worse because you happen to have a label for your issue that is related to a Dx.

Ok so he has a complaint, so does 99.9% of husbands and wives or girlfriends and boyfriends in the world. Try to leave out the issues in your marriage when it comes to specific things he does and please do not make provision for him because you happen to be less than perfect as a wife.

Lastly I agree that not dismissing someone's unhappiness in a marriage is a good thing but please, let's separate it from the reality. It is, simply put, an excuse, indeed, you are spot on with this. Everyone is in control of who they get involved with, cheat with or have sex with. Just because someone is unhappy with their current mate, does not either make them lose control of what they do, nor does it make them do what they do in the cases of cheating, specifically here.

Worst part here? he ADMITTED to "acting out" Acting out being what one does to retaliate, hurt someone or in some other way do something that is contrary to what they know they should. By admitting he was acting out he admits to having known the right and wrong of it and did it anyway. By saying that he was just acting out and throwing in that he was doing it because of his unhappiness at home, he is putting on his acts and trying to make YOU FEEL guilty for his actions. In other words saying "you don't make me happy enough, so I'm gonna cheat." and basically calling you out for being less than a fit wife for him. It places the pressure of his deceitful act on you or at least tries to and I hope I'm getting through here, but it's NOT ON YOU. At worst, if you were to take on the responsibility for whatever there may be for you doing better in the marriage, even then, you still would not be responsible for his cheating. Period.

Yep, making out with someone is cheating. He is trying to justify his actions and make you feel responsible for his shortcomings. He just really didn't care if he hurt you and is a jerk. Big hug...don't know what to tell you to do....were it me, I'd plan my escape. Being bi-polar has nothing to do with anything.

Yeah, it feels like cheating to me... talk to this with him, although (from what you're telling us) I don't know if it will be helpful