Why lie? .

Sorry that he lied. It sounds like he lied because he was doing something inappropriate. People are typically shocked when they find out their significant other is cheating, so I don't think you can totally rule it out at this point. Just don't make any drastic changes right now.. If you don't want to leave him then give it time to see if he can become trustworthy or not.

It is about the lie....

I think there is a BIG reason why he would lie to you like that. Something is definitely fishy and I would hold off on moving foward with this guy. If he is doing this now, what is going to happen in a year, five years and so on? It will only get worse. And who knows what else he is hiding from you!!!!

The more I learn the worst it gets! So he told me that after I confronted him that he text the hairdresser to tell her "he can't see her anymore" EXACT words. When she called he told her that he had lied to me about where he was getting his haircut because his ex accused him of having an affair with her in the past and he didn't want me to think the same thing. He said he handled all of this terriblely.
I came unglued. So many things wrong with this.
One: he felt obligated to tell her he wouldn't be getting his haircut by her. Two: the choice of words. Three: he told her what was going on. She deserved honesty? He lied to me for three days before he admitted to it. Btw she is "just a woman that cuts his hair".

I ask him to call her, he said ok we will get this settled. Then he says he deleted her number, I gave it to him. Right before he called. I said just tell her you need to make an appointment. He looked puzzled. I want to hear what she says. As he dialed the number he said, she will ask about us. I said that's fine. Well, she didn't answer! He said if she calls back and she may not, he won't talk to her if I'm not there. Then he said, I blocked her on his phone. So I took his phone and unblocked. Several hours later she still did not call.
Still nothing, I ask him if he heard from her and he said no. I ask did you block her and he said no. He grabbed his phone to show me the call log and I know he was unblocking her number.
I know He doesn't realize that if you block a number on phone and not on his account that the number still shows up on log. I didn't even ask to see the log because I'm positive her number will show up and he will come up with a stupid excuse. So he either lied about her contacting him or he blocked her numbe it to make me think she didn't contact him.
He is still trying hard to keep us together and show me how much he loves me and wants me in his life. I still don't believe they were having sex.
Maybe he's scared she will say something that will make me angry or he's hiding something.
Either way. He's still lying and the fact he felt like she deserved the truth and and I didn't.
So tired!

At this point, who are you trying to convince?

Lie upon lie upon lie.

There are numerous red flags here and it appears the more you dig , the worse it gets.

If your best friend came to you with this story, what would you suggest?


If it feels wrong, it probably is.

I'd tell her to Walk away

you don't know what conversations took place behind your back either. Liars typically "set the stage" to cover-up their lies with the cooperation of the one's they are lying about. The texts and conversations done with you as a witness may just be staged to convince you the liar is not lying. I've seen this more than I'd like. The liar's pretend to be Mr. Wonderful when they are heartless creatures.

I can't blame you for finding this client/hairdresser relationship unsettling. That point about not being able to see her anymore is quite suspect for terminating a hairdresser. Most individuals tend to walk away and to other hairdressers without fanfare.

It seems natural to not trust his story.

As far as rebuilding trust, these are certainly not actions on his part that work towards that goal.

Sorry that you're going through this.

Keep one foot in and one foot out

If I decided to switch my hairdresser I wouldn't even bother discussing it. The fact that he made a production of it speaks volumes