If you're trying to get over someone how do you reply to their texts without starting a conversation? I get texts asking how I am from the guy I am addicted to and I just put ok last night but it seems rude. I want to ask how he is but I know he'll be coping with everything he has to in his life. I don't know if he'll text me again. I am just wondering. I have talked about this a lot in this sub forum. Will not repeat it now. He said hope you are ok, so texting back ok seems rude. I have thought of ignoring him. But he does not need to ask. At least he asks. I think next time I might just thank him. That is if I hear from him again. He might just ignore me from now on. What would you do?

[Raindropvampire]

I would be honest and tell him I'm addicted to him and I need to go no contact for my own health and well being. Then I'd thank him for thinking of me but that from now on he will be blocked. Then I'd block him and start working on moving forward. That is what I would do but the question should be what do YOU want to do?

[brainy]

Tell him to go and **** himself!
But then maybe his **** is too small. His balls definitely is!

I don't want to never hear from him again. I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with it. I should tell him thanks but I can't be in touch with him again but he has tried to encourage me to feel good about myself at times. Not that it worked and the only thing that would have would be him saying he wanted to see me again. I know that will never happen. I need people around me all the time if I end it completely and I don't have that. He might not text again anyway.

[brainy]

Trust me when i say this honey. The boy aint worth your time!!!!!!

[Patagonia]

I agree. Maybe he wants to hear you say you're ok Bec he knows that he hurt you. That makes him feel better, knowing you're ok.
Bull!

Throw your shoulders back, stand up straight & use your womanly power! You are better than that! You deserve better than that! You need to demand it!

Don't play his games. Say thank you...it's been fun....but I'm moving on....then block him.
He might be shocked or sad, but you don't need to know that. That's his problem.
Doing this might feel very fake & unrealistic but it will empower you for the next blow that may come your way.
You can do this. Fight the urges to cave. (I've been in your shoes believe me! I had a friend come & sit with me so I wouldn't go crawling back to someone bad. I know how it hurts)
You're powerful & men will start to see that.
Use your power!!

Best of luck. Truly!!

[Bill3]

Block him.

he has tried to encourage me to feel good about myself at times

He is hurting you even more by encouraging you to stay tethered to him.

Block him.

[brainy]

Better yet, go over, hold him down and cut off his balls..
Oops, my bad. He aint got none.

[seesaw]

I agree, block him. You can't get over an addiction unless you quit using. By keeping in touch with him, you are continuing to "use" him like a drug. I speak from personal experience...maintaining contact while you are trying to move on will only create further chaos in your life. Block him and get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid.

Seesaw

[Bill3]

seesaw put it really well.

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I agree. Maybe he wants to hear you say you're ok Bec he knows that he hurt you. That makes him feel better, knowing you're ok.
Bull!

Throw your shoulders back, stand up straight & use your womanly power! You are better than that! You deserve better than that! You need to demand it!

Don't play his games. Say thank you...it's been fun....but I'm moving on....then block him.
He might be shocked or sad, but you don't need to know that. That's his problem.
Doing this might feel very fake & unrealistic but it will empower you for the next blow that may come your way.
You can do this. Fight the urges to cave.

I don’t think I can. To never hear from him again would kill me. I don't think he's playing games, but he won't bother if I give him up. This is all one way. I spend a lot of time on my own and I think it would be a lot easier if I had people at home with me. I might go back to drinking and fighting two things at once is not a good idea. I need to at least find another coping mechanism to deal with missing him before I block him. Honestly I wouldn't need to, all I would have to say is I can't keep in contact with him and he wouldn't be in touch again. That probably comes across as an excuse, but I think I need a better coping mechanism for it. I wish I had a dog really, then I think I would be fine. It would give me a reason to get up in the morning. I would have to go out several times a day. I don't know what my landlady would say though.

I know I'm pathetic. You don't need to tell me.

Thankyou for the replies.

[Bill3]

You are not pathetic in my eyes, that's for sure. For one thing, I admire how you have a clear idea of where you stand and what you might need to move forward. What do you think of speaking to your landlady about the possibility of getting a dog?

I think it would be a good idea, but I know she doesn't like pets. She wasn't clear on it as she may have been talking about in her own life. Also a dog is a bog responsibility which has put me off in the past. They would have to spend time on their own as I do voluntary work and clean a lady's house for her. These are things I need to consider before I ask her.

[Patagonia]

Are there some groups you can join? Like a walking group? Have you ever used "meet up" I think it's called...for local people to meet & get involved in different things. Even a group on Craigslist for a reading club....or something.
Flood yourself with stuff to do. Make yourself busy & exhausted might help.
To never hear from him again will not kill you....not medically....but it will be a deep loss to you it sounds like.
I'm so sorry you have to feel that & I think many hear can sympathize with you.
Hell I have my own addiction I can't seem to break & need to take my own dam advice! Lol.
But believe in yourself!
You'll survive. Bruised & hurt, but you'll survive!

[s4ndm4n2006]

you're trying to get over him, you can't control what he does. So from there that leaves only one option. since it's not good for your mental health to hear from him at all, I would block him.

I have a bottle of wine in the house and am likely to drink it tomorrow. I won't get in touch with him, and I can't see him getting in touch anyway. I deleted his number from my phone and unfollowed him on Facebook. I don't see his posts which helps. At the weekend I posted that I was going to detox from things which made me sad so maybe he knows what I meant. I wasn't just talking about alcohol. That hasn't lasted long. I need to tackle things one at a time. I can't get rid of two addictive things at once.

Not healthy to drink most of a bottle of wine but is better than feeling alone. I have towels to pick up from someone's house so I might not drink it tomorrow. If not tomorrow then Friday. I might text friends but not him. I can't remember his number so I can't. If I can keep the drinking to once a week will not be too bad. Thursday and Friday are bad days so it will probably be then.

[Patagonia]

So is this just a few drinks to wash him away....or is alcohol a problem for you?

You need to tell yourself that this is HIS loss. Not yours! Tell yourself out loud. He lost out on you & what a fool he is to do that.
You're worth soooo much better. To be cherished & loved & adored.
He wasn't up for the job...his loss.

I think it'll take more than a few drinks to wash him away. I've already had a few drinking sessions over it. Yeah, he didn't want it, he does have things going on in his own life though. But it wouldn't have made any difference if he hadn't. It helps to think of him in a negative way but I know he's not a bad person. I only drink when I'm not happy. The thing is this has made me very unhappy. That's why I am drinking more. I found that interacting with people on the other forum helped me stop but because he is on there I can't go back. I just hope that I can feel the same way here. I like talking about political things but because I'm from Britain I know more about that than I do of the US. There is a place for talking about politics here but it's more US based. I do have other places to talk about it though, which is a good thing.

But speaking to people on social media can only do so much. I can still sit with a glass of wine in my hand. I really should go out but I have no reason to. Anything rather than sitting in thinking of him would be good.

[Patagonia]

PC is a really big forum, at least to me, & I do very much hope you stay & find what you're looking for.
Maybe you can join other forums in your area?....for politics etc. The only people I talk to are internet people, it's my only form of socializing which now I think about it....might not be healthy, but I've always felt more comfortable typing than face to face interactions.
Do a google search maybe?

It might help to think of him negatively in the fact that he didn't realize what he had in you & he let that fall apart. Maybe it comes down to maturity? You're acting more like the adult here. You know you're going to be hurt so you said no more. You took the higher road here & you should be really congratulated for that! Really!
I'm sure somehow this could've turned into some disaster? maybe & you didn't let that happen! You need to tell yourself that & tell yourself you're a good person.
I know it's cliche, but "this too shall pass..."

It's very hard. I keep hoping he'll text. That's not what I should be thinking. I'm going to have a drink today so if I start typing rubbish later on please excuse me. I will try to be sensible and not drink all of it. I won't contact him anyway. That would be a bad idea. I would end up saying something I shouldn't.

Well am drinking now. It is evening here now so is not too bad. I need to have something good to eat soon though or else I'll end up ill.

Have thought that maybe I should post my thoughts on the dual addictions in the addictions sub forum. I don't know if it covers addiction to interaction with certain people. It might be worth posting anyway.

I do wonder he reads these posts; he's been banned from this forum he says, but he knows I post on here. If so he will know how I feel. I'm quite sure he wouldn't like what I said but there are so many things he has never denied which I have got the impression he thinks. It's what he doesn't say that counts.

I don't know why I should worry what he thinks of me, if I'm not going to see him again. I just wish these feelings had never occurred and I could have stayed friends with him, but he's too much my type. I think I need to accept that men just want sex from me and nothing else so staying single is best.

[Patagonia]

I think if someone is banned from here they can't read the posts??

You've gotten through another day and another hour. Pat ur self on the back.

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I think if someone is banned from here they can't read the posts??

You've gotten through another day and another hour. Pat ur self on the back.

I hope so - he doesn't understand how I'm like this.

I'm going to bed soon so yes I have got through another day. But I am drunk.

I think if you're not logged in anyone can have a look.

[Bill3]

Hang in there cyberwoman!