What to do about it when it happens. Especially when it's subtle and persistent. I've had some issues with being bullied in the past by some former bosses and coworkers even though I didn't say or do anything to offend them that I can think of. It's funny how most of the time they happen to be other women.

I'm not that pretty and I'm overweight now, so it can't be jealousy even though some people think that I'm pretty. I used to be thin, so maybe jealousy did play a part in that in the past. Anyways, I did write a thread about a job that I quit recently about how some of the girls there were mean to me. They'd mostly ignore me when I tried to say hi and bye to them.

So of course I stopped saying hi and bye to them after that. One night a group of them stared at me when I said bye everyone. That was so rude. I said nothing at all back and left. I did nothing wrong. I'm shy and quiet so maybe some people might take that the wrong way and think that I don't like them, idk.

I keep to myself mostly. I'm polite to everyone. I'll talk to anyone who talks to me. I don't have issues with most people at work, it's just the popular outgoing cliquey types that often end up being the bullies at work. And sometimes some of the supervisors at work, both male and female ones.

I've been sexually harassed a few times at work, but I never reported anything all that time except for the time this one pervert old guy wouldn't leave me alone at my last job a few months ago. I tried to be nice to him, but he'd follow me around. And I got some stuff stolen out of my locker at my last job at Walmart by a group of mean girls. One of the girls stood by me closely listening to loud music. I said nothing but left and went somewhere else.

I did nothing to her at all. So I don't get why her and this other girl would try to follow me around and keep on laughing and making jokes around me. They were both younger than me. I'm shy and quite so maybe people think that I'm snotty or weird or just an easy target, idk.

At my most recent job, a few of the girls would flat out ignore me when I tried to say hi to them. One night four or five of them just stared at me when I said bye everyone. The managers were OK, and so were the vendors. They were all outgoing and they were all friends with each other. They all liked to talk and joke around. I was the quiet serious one at work. I was told a few times at that job that I was doing great although I did mess a few things up and I was a bit slow to learn a few things at the cash register.

One young girl indirectly called me fat by saying this to her friend, no wonder she's so fat, she's eating chips. Who does that? I never did a thing to her, and I said hi to her, and I was nice. I said nothing to her at all. I should've. I said nothing to anyone about this at all until last night to a friend at work. I was quitting anyways.

And they all complain about customers there all the time, and I only did it once to two rude ones, but not to their face. Don't we all do that? One former manager was even rude enough to call one customer not even cute and who'd want to make out with her after she asked her a question about which lipstick to use for making out.

I mostly kept to myself as I'm shy and introverted, so I guess that maybe makes some people think that I'm no friendly or that I don't like them? I'm serious too most of the time so maybe that bothers some people? Idk or care. Just wondering if it does or not.

I just show up, say hi, bye, do my job, try to make some small talk, but if I can clearly see that person isn't interested in talking to me, I don't try to talk much to them about stuff that's not about work after that. What's the point in doing so?

I have a good feeling about this new grocery store job. They people there seem nice. And they're older and more mature which is good since I'm middle aged. The girls at my last job were mostly in their 20's. They were cliquey too. I didn't care to be part of any clique. I don't care about fitting in. I just do my job and try to be nice to everyone. What more do they expect from me? It seems to me like loners tend to be bully targets at work.

Why is that? I did research on here and it seems that if you don't conform to the group standards, or if the popular people there don't like you, then other people tend to shun you too. Why do people tend to do that? I don't want to change my personality or be fake in order to be liked or to not make myself a target for bullies.

I'm a nice person who minds my own business. I don't gossip and I'll talk to anyone who talks to me. If someone is trouble, or they get out of line with me, I try to avoid them as much as I can. So does anyone have any tips on how to get along with people at work and how to avoid being harassed and bullied and what to do about it w/o having your boss or H/R think that you're being overly sensitive?

Also, the manager at my last job is friends with some of the girls who treated me badly and she didn't even say that she'd talk to them or even say sorry that happened to you, that was wrong, no. That bothered me. No wonder why bullies think that they can get away with bullying people they don't like. Why do they do it and what can I do to avoid stuff like this from happening again?

Most people at work normally seem to like me, but sometimes I'll have issues with the dominant outgoing people there who have lots of friends, especially if they happen to be friends with the manager/s there.

I'm starting this new job in a few days. I'd appreciate any bullying stories and how you dealt with it and how to keep this from happening at my new job IF I DO encounter any bullies or sexual harassment at all.

Aside from a a few of the mean cliquey girls at the job I j just quit, most of the people there were nice to me. So it's not me. I never did anything to those girls, so why are some people so mean and rude for no reason at all? I don't care about having friends at work. I just want to be treated with respect.

I could have written most of your post word for word.

You need a friend or two at work to really get you through and brace you for the bullying that some people simply cannot help themselves from doing. They bully for a variety of reasons but most commonly they do pick on the loners because then they have backup and of course the loner does not. It's easy prey. They feed off how they effect you. It makes them feel stronger and more powerful.

I have so many bullying stories I could go on for days. I worked in high end retail selling cosmetics and doing makeovers. If you are familiar with cosmetic counters, I worked for a specific brand. One day a lady from another counter came by my counter and told me how sweet and charming I am and how you can see it from a mile away. A few days later a girl from another counter came to talk to me and said "woe....you are really nice....you're not the biatch that everyone says you are". People make any assumptions which suit them against people....quiet loners will always be at a disadvantage ((((hugs))))

I stand up for myself now and whenever I'm well enough to do so. I tell people how they make me feel. At my last job...about 6 years ago a lady that bullied me for years did it again and I told her "that really hurts my feelings when you do that". She looked shocked....like she'd never considered my feelings and she stopped a lot of the bullying. Not all of it, but a significant amount. Some people don't even know they ARE bullies. They consider themselves nice while being very cruel. (((Hugs)))

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been a victim of nasty bullies at work too. Why do you think they do what they do? I don't get it. Yes, I definitely need allies at work, especially someone in charge who can control the bully or scare them. The lady who'll be my new manager seems like a cool and easygoing lady. I met her at my interview. I like her. I have a good feeling that we'll get along with each other.

I've had issues with past female supervisors not really liking me in the past or just being indifferent towards me as well as a few of the more well liked women at work. It's like Jr. High all over again. Some people never grow up, ugh! It's like they get a sick thrill of taking out their frustrations on whoever they see as being easy prey like us loners and/or shy types.

I'd like to hear more of your stories and how you dealt with the bullies. Did you ever have to complain about them to a manager or H.R? About that lady from the counter, wow, that sucks! You seem like a nice person, so that's weird. Maybe they were jealous of you for being sweet and charming? I worked at Ulta, so yes, I'm familiar with how a beauty store works.

The vendors were nice, but one lady who left warned me to not trust anyone there. That was a big red flag. She told me who to watch out for, but it was just a couple of men she didn't like. One of them was s manager who I thought was cool and he was always nice to me. So that's weird. She said that he's moody. He wasn't at all. He was always joking with people and always talking to them. Weird!

And yes, us loners will always be at a huge disadvantage which sucks. I wish that I could just work at home so that I can avoid having to deal with stuff like this, ugh! Hopefully I'll win the lottery one day and be able to never have to deal with bullies at work again!

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I stand up for myself now and whenever I'm well enough to do so. I tell people how they make me feel. At my last job...about 6 years ago a lady that bullied me for years did it again and I told her "that really hurts my feelings when you do that". She looked shocked....like she'd never considered my feelings and she stopped a lot of the bullying. Not all of it, but a significant amount. Some people don't even know they ARE bullies. They consider themselves nice while being very cruel. (((Hugs)))

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Good for you! At least she stopped bullying you after that. I'm sure that some bullies would either deny everything and then escalate the bullying once they can tell that they're getting to you.

So in that case, maybe it's best to scare them by telling a manager about things or H.R. Or at least say excuse me, what did you just say as to challenge them and let them know that you won't put up with any crap. Ha. Most people won't mess with people who aren't afraid to confront them face to face as they're cowards. I should've done that at my last job, what you did. I will if that ever happens to me again.

Hopefully it won't ever come to that.I'll make friends with the managers there so maybe I'll be bullet proof this time-

Why do they do it? Awe....the million dollar question. I've been bullied for a variety of reasons and under a variety of circumstances. Every job I've had (except one where is worked as an on site coordinators and just sat in an office and managed a group of temps that worked for our temp agency but on site at another facility....I was alone 90% of the time) I've been bullied or sexually harassed. Many times they follow this kind of theme.

When I was a young girl I took gymnastics classes at the local state college. I was very fit and athletic with very strong muscles (almost abnormal) for a child my age and the teachers constantly commented on it and telling me how far I could go. A few girls from my class went to my class and were a few years older than me. They cornered me against a wall one day and started pulling my hair and telling me I'm not as good as I think I am and not better than them. I never thought I was but I did receive more than my share of compliments. I explained that they were more slender and graceful than I and that I thought they were better....they said yeah right and a yard duty broke it up. I stopped going to class. Then my mom signed me up for another class which did Tap, jazz and tumbling. It was a small studio so gymnastics were limited. My teacher took a strong liking to me and began praising my strength and skills openly. I got the lead in our recital. The girls started harassing me and icing me out and laughing about me. I dropped out. At my last job I was teased and harassed for years and never said s peep. I convinced myself I imagined the behavior so they got away with murder (some things are too embarrassing to even talk about). Then they stayed doing it to other people and I watched them lose it and I told one lady I was aware of what was going on and she thanked me because she thought she was losing her mind. A few other people as well as her quit from the harassment so I started speaking up. I didn't let them get away with much at the end. But I got very physically and mentally sick and they harassed the hell out of me and probably caused a lot of it. My friend, parents and husband think I have PTSD from working there and I think they are right. I'm terrified of running into those people. There is one or two people I'd like to see but it's better put in the past for me. My friends and family think they harassed me because they were threatened by me. My best friend thinks it's because they were threatened and people assume I've had life too easy for some reason. It's not true of course but people do make assumptions. Mostly they did it because they could. I went to HR and to my boss on several occasions. On my behalf but also on behalf of others being harassed. They put out a warning and it got better but would always get bad again. I just started speaking my mind and sticking to talking to the kind people in the office....there were a few. I was nice to the jerks too....nicer than they deserved. ((((Hugs))))

[divine1966]

I've never been bullied neither at school nor at work (and I worked many different jobs in different countries) but I currently teach high school and know how devastating it could be. Unfortunately much of it is subtle. Not everyone tells an adult until it's too late. It baffles me when I hear about adult bullies others at work. It should be grounds for dismissal. Saying that a colleague is fat because she eats chips? It needs to be reported .

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Why do they do it? Awe....the million dollar question. I've been bullied for a variety of reasons and under a variety of circumstances. Every job I've had (except one where is worked as an on site coordinators and just sat in an office and managed a group of temps that worked for our temp agency but on site at another facility....I was alone 90% of the time) I've been bullied or sexually harassed. Many times they follow this kind of theme.

When I was a young girl I took gymnastics classes at the local state college. I was very fit and athletic with very strong muscles (almost abnormal) for a child my age and the teachers constantly commented on it and telling me how far I could go. A few girls from my class went to my class and were a few years older than me. They cornered me against a wall one day and started pulling my hair and telling me I'm not as good as I think I am and not better than them. I never thought I was but I did receive more than my share of compliments. I explained that they were more slender and graceful than I and that I thought they were better....they said yeah right and a yard duty broke it up. I stopped going to class. Then my mom signed me up for another class which did Tap, jazz and tumbling. It was a small studio so gymnastics were limited. My teacher took a strong liking to me and began praising my strength and skills openly. I got the lead in our recital. The girls started harassing me and icing me out and laughing about me. I dropped out. At my last job I was teased and harassed for years and never said s peep. I convinced myself I imagined the behavior so they got away with murder (some things are too embarrassing to even talk about). Then they stayed doing it to other people and I watched them lose it and I told one lady I was aware of what was going on and she thanked me because she thought she was losing her mind. A few other people as well as her quit from the harassment so I started speaking up. I didn't let them get away with much at the end. But I got very physically and mentally sick and they harassed the hell out of me and probably caused a lot of it. My friend, parents and husband think I have PTSD from working there and I think they are right. I'm terrified of running into those people. There is one or two people I'd like to see but it's better put in the past for me. My friends and family think they harassed me because they were threatened by me. My best friend thinks it's because they were threatened and people assume I've had life too easy for some reason. It's not true of course but people do make assumptions. Mostly they did it because they could. I went to HR and to my boss on several occasions. On my behalf but also on behalf of others being harassed. They put out a warning and it got better but would always get bad again. I just started speaking my mind and sticking to talking to the kind people in the office....there were a few. I was nice to the jerks too....nicer than they deserved. ((((Hugs))))

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Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that! It sounds like they were very jealous of you. Were they out of shape, fat, or ugly by any chance? I've had the most issues with women who were unattractive. Of course, I've also been bullied by women who weren't that way either.

The queen bee bully cashier is in shape and pretty, and well liked, so I don't get why she'd bully me. Maybe it's because I dress up nice most of the time. She does too, but I look classier, idk.

Also, perhaps relational agression has something to do with things. When people are unhappy and frustrated, they tend to last out at whoever they can. She can't do that to the customers, but she was able to do it to me and so did some of the other girls there. Screw them. I hope that their bad karma comes back to bite them hard.

I'm complaining about all of the to HR soon. I'm to tired now. I took pics of the time schedule sheet, so I'm sure that I got most of their names on there. I'm going to talk to the other managers too as I doubt that the one I talked to today will say a thing to them at all as she is friends with them. Although the other managers are also friendly with them, perhaps they'll take me more seriously.

I did tell that woman today that if this immature and rude nonsense continues with other people, that they'll have a hard time keeping good people there. I hope that got through to her. Next time I'm going to speak up and the next time someone calls me fat, I'll speak up for sure. I'll look at them and say, excuse me, but did you say what I think you just said? If so, you need to apologize to me right now. If they deny it I'll then say, I know what I heard. You were right next to me. And I'll report you to the manager for harassing me. Don't you ever do that again.

Ha! I'm so sorry that I let her get away with that. Hopefully someone will care enough to have a word with her about her rude remark.

BTW, I have been bullied by former friends in 6th grade and Jr. High. Those years were hell for me. I was mostly ignored in h.s but some people made mean comments to be here and there. A few guys were nasty to me, mostly 3 who were friends with some of the mean popular girls. I find it to be interesting to how they were mostly fat and or ugly. Not to be mean, but they were. So jealousy might have had something to do with that.

As nasty as most people were to me back then, no one ever called me fat or ugly. So that's pretty telling although I thought I was heavy and ugly back then. No one but my mom thought I needed to loose weight back then as well as myself.

Originally Posted by divine1966

I've never been bullied neither at school nor at work (and I worked many different jobs in different countries) but I currently teach high school and know how devastating it could be. Unfortunately much of it is subtle. Not everyone tells an adult until it's too late. It baffles me when I hear about adult bullies others at work. It should be grounds for dismissal. Saying that a colleague is fat because she eats chips? It needs to be reported .

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Lucky you. A lot of stuff goes unreported because it causes the victim shame and they often feel like it's their fault and that there's something wrong with them. Plus they think that no one will care or do anything about it and even if they do, they'll just probably be told to just ignore the bullies or that they're being to sensitive or some useless crap like that.

People normally don't want to get involved as they think they might end up being a target if they dare speak up and try to help the victim.

What would you have done if you were me with that girl who made the nasty comment about the chips and about the queen bee laughing at me for saying hi to her as well as the group of girls who just stood there and stared at me? I was just watching some youtube videos and was told that you have to stop them the first time it happens and calmly tell them that you have no control over how they feel about you, and that you did nothing wrong.

You also have to let them know that they don't have to like you, but you'd like to have a civil work relationship with them and if they don't want to be civil back, well, you're not going to loose any sleep over it or something like that. Just be strong, calm, and call them out on b.s crap right away. That's what I'll do next time. Ignoring bullies only makes them think that you're weak and afraid of them it seems like.

And if things escalate, to document everything and then calmly let H.R know how their behavior is affecting your ability to do your job. They only care about what you can do for them, not your feelings. I was told to say that it's affecting my ability to do my job when I'm working around such hostile people. And to also let them know that you tried to work things out with that person or group, but you were not able to get them to cooperate and be civil back.

That is all very wise and exactly what I told my boss and HR. I told them it was a hostile work environment and effecting my job. Lots of people had complained....several quit. It was very hostile all the time. They had a meeting and told everyone to stop (they did not talk to anyone specifically as should have been done) and they said the next person who had a complaint need not bother as they can just find another job as we are at will employees. I didn't feel very supported.

It was people all all sizes, shapes, attractiveness levels, etc. they usually had a large group of friends and enjoyed teasing and making fun of people. Making fun of people is their past time.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

That is all very wise and exactly what I told my boss and HR. I told them it was a hostile work environment and effecting my job. Lots of people had complained....several quit. It was very hostile all the time. They had a meeting and told everyone to stop (they did not talk to anyone specifically as should have been done) and they said the next person who had a complaint need not bother as they can just find another job as we are at will employees. I didn't feel very supported.

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Wow, why did you stay at such an awful place like that? Were they hostile to you too? Did you ever stand up to them? If so, how did they respond to you? That place sounds like it'll go out of business if they keep up this nonsense.

They all sound like they're 12 year old mean girls. What a joke. I would've told those people off to their stupid faces. I would've went above them to complain to corporate. I actually did email HQ today and told them what happened and if that manager did contact them or not. I'll have to keep bugging them I'm afraid as they might be pissed that I quit so suddenly.

And what manager doesn't know anything about a check? I call b.s on that. What do you think? I'm not letting this go until I get my check and my overtime. I'll threaten to report them to HQ and sue if I have to, lol. That will get them to give me my check probably. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

I'll complain about those nasty girls to a few other managers and hope one of them actually cares about what happened. They need a manager to talk to them and to let them know that their behavior was rude and inappropriate and that can be considered harassment, the comment about my weight.

I regret not calling her out on her nasty comment at the time. I'll never let anyone get away with being nasty to me like that again. That is not like me at all. I've been called fat by strangers before and let me tell you, I yelled at them pretty damn good. I really put them in their place, lol! I really hate people at times.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

It was people all all sizes, shapes, attractiveness levels, etc. they usually had a large group of friends and enjoyed teasing and making fun of people. Making fun of people is their past time.

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Wow, I would've not lasted a minute there! What a bunch of nasty and immature losers! They have nothing better to do than be mean to people! Like I said before, they all sound like they're a bunch of mean Jr. High kids. They all deserve a lump of coal in their stocking for Xmas, lol!

Maybe they have no real friends or life outside of work. Are they all single old hags by any chance?

[~Christina]

Why go to HR ? You're leaving they won't care at all. Youre a temp for the holiday season.

You talk about telling them you have a better job with great benefits? Again no one will care, in my younger years I'd probably laugh about someone saying that tbh.

Pretty much new people get talked about , that typical especially for a group of women and Ulta is a place with lots of estrogen in the air.

Does it make it right? No , it's just how the working world is for non professional entry level positions.

You won't always be the " new person" someone else will come along and be the new person and people will be focused on that one.

My advice at the new job.... Just show up... Say hello with no expectations that people will be polite and welcome you into the fold, that shyyt seldom happens.

Remind yourself of why you are there.. To earn money that you desperately need to pay bills.

Personally I always preferred working with guys if they are pissed at you they most likely will tell you not there coworkers.? In my experience men are easier to work with.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Why go to HR ? You're leaving they won't care at all. Youre a temp for the holiday season.

You talk about telling them you have a better job with great benefits? Again no one will care, in my younger years I'd probably laugh about someone saying that tbh.

Pretty much new people get talked about , that typical especially for a group of women and Ulta is a place with lots of estrogen in the air.

Does it make it right? No , it's just how the working world is for non professional entry level positions.

You won't always be the " new person" someone else will come along and be the new person and people will be focused on that one.

My advice at the new job.... Just show up... Say hello with no expectations that people will be polite and welcome you into the fold, that shyyt seldom happens.

Remind yourself of why you are there.. To earn money that you desperately need to pay bills.

Personally I always preferred working with guys if they are pissed at you they most likely will tell you not there coworkers.? In my experience men are easier to work with.

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Well, even as a temp, people should still be treated with respect and not be treated in a nasty way by the people who've been there awhile just because they'll be out of there in a few months.

I treat people with respect and consideration, so I expect the same treatment back in return. The fact that I was working with a bunch of girls more than half my age didn't help matters. I'm in my 40's, but one sweet girl there told me this, no way, I thought that you were no older than 28-

I do have the guts to go back as a customer to that store since I do like that store, and I'm to lazy to drive to the the one that's half an hour away from me. If anyone asks me anything, I'll just be polite. I was just mad when I wrote that stuff. If they act stupid, I'll just ignore them as I'm sure that bullies enjoy getting a rise out of people.

I just hope that I do get my check and overtime pay soon. Management apparently doesn't care about what happened as they're all friends with each other, so I guess it would be a waste of time to talk to anyone else there. I should have called them out on their bad behavior at the time. I doubt that I would've been fired for that as they were super busy at the time and will be up until the end of Jan. Plus, I was a good employee too. I showed up on time, I worked hard, and most of the people there had no issue with me.

Why are some women so nasty to each other? If I had an issue with another female, I would just talk to that person or avoid them like a man would. I'm different obviously. I would not gossip or make catty remarks. That is low class, immature, and cowardly. I would never stoop that low.

I have balls, not literally though, lol! And yes, it is easier to work with men at times unless they end up thinking there is nothing wrong with sexually harassing a woman. I've had that happen to me a few times. I reported the last creep after I quit my last job. He had the nerve to say hi baby to me when he passed by me once. I tried to push him away, but he'd follow me everywhere, ugh!

I hope that I won't have that issue at my new job. I'm heavy, so that's not likely to happen probably as most men don't find heavy women attractive. No wonder why bullies get away with so much, like Elsa said, not much if anything is done about it at a lot of places.

It's sickening. I did research on bullying in the work place and loners and shy people are those who don't really have any real friends at work are often the targets of these nasty bullies. Why do they do it?

I'd like to know so I can maybe figure out how to avoid it. Are they on power trips? Is it relational aggression since they are frustrated with their lives and jobs and they just need to take their anger out on someone who they think won't speak up or report them to H.R?

I'm a nice person and I don't deserve to be treated badly. Bullies suck. I hate them. They are evil scumbags and I hope that their bad karma comes back to bite them hard sooner than later. BTW, Ulta did hire two new ladies but I did not witness either of them getting ignored or made fun of. So being the new person doesn't always make one a target.

I think that being shy and perceived as being "weak" and "different" for keeping to myself rubbed some of these girls the wrong way as some of them were very loud and outgoing. Maybe people like them think that I'm stuck up just for being quiet. I did try being nice to them,so what more do they want from me? God, I hate people at times.

I must respectfully disagree with Christina. We should not expect or ever consider it okay if we are being harassed, teased or our lives being made more difficult by the intentional cruelty of other.
'
There were times it was so bad and I was already depressed that these peoples actions made me consider terminating my life. That is not ok.

Some people are more sensitive than others. They are more effected by the actions other people take against their person. Sensitive people are not often respected but they are often RIGHT. Assertive people are often respected and they are often WRONG. If we look at this from a position of right and wrong it's clearly the bullies who should stop....not the tormented "getting over it"

I didn't leave the place I worked at because I had the similar harassment at each position I held. These bullies are everywhere. I also didn't know for years if I was hallucinating the whole thing because the illness I have. After I witnessed them doing it to others and driving one girl so crazy she was shaking constantly....I knew for sure I wasn't having delusions of persecution. I worke there for 11 years. If I work someplace new I won't stand for any shenanigans right from the start. I watched those women ruin people's lives and I put what I witnessed against them on file. I told my boss that what was happening to them was unacceptable.

Even if you plan to leave, please go to HR and tell them what these women are doing. 1 complaint might not go to far but if they do it to someone else and another complaint is made, action will be required and you could possibly be the reason someone else gets fair treatment in the future.

On a positive note, my new manager will be female. I saw her at my interview. I like her, she's cool and easy going. I have a good feeling about her. I think that we'll get along fine which is sort of rare for me, to actually like a female supervisor as most female supervisors in the past have either had an indifferent attitude towards me, or they flat out hated me. One nasty female boss would pass by my desk every morning as a receptionist and make this snotty face each time like she just stepped on some dog poo after I tried to be professional and greet her with a good morning.

Ugh! And this woman was in her 60's! She had the nerve to tell a friend of mine that I don't know how to mingle with people when an older nice friend of mine did a phony background check on me. What a nasty old hag! That is illegal too as legally they can only answer three questions such as date of hire, job title, and if that the company would rehire that person again or not.

A few of the outgoing, loud and cliquey women there hated me too and they made me miserable. It was a small office, so there was no escape from that hell. I quit after a year. They had a hard time keeping receptionists around for sure as they were mean to all of them. And a few of the guys there were super arrogant to. The owner was very nasty. Although he only glared at me like I was a piece of garbage in passing, he'd often scream at his *****y assistant who was the office witch who no one really liked, but they feared her. The poor girl who took my place told me god, you were so right about her, she is an evil witch, lol!

If anyone can tell me why some women are so mean to each other at work and act like they're still 12 years old at work at times, then please let me know why that is. Oh, I did actually ask that one evil witch at that job if I ever said or did anything of offend her. I flat out asked her why she didn't like me. She then made some lame excuse about how women compete with each other over clothes and other things. Also, one day after work she mentioned how the owners son is basically a **** and he doesn't know what it's like to pound the pavement looking for work. She'd get yelled at by his dad often and clearly she didn't like him, or at least she envied him. So I guess that I was her emotional punching bag there. She tried to act like my boss at times. I tried my best to ignore her as best as I could. She was so fake and fake suck up. Not to be mean, but that's how she was.

You can analyze why they do it and you will probably come up with a new reason for each person. They do it for a variety of reasons but they do pick the loner because it's easy prey and they are animals after all. It really is a scumbag thing to do and they shouldn't get away with it but if you complain, most people automatically think "what did you do to deserve it". People who have never been bullied assume the target deserves it. People who are bullied will often internalize this and sometimes try to fix everything about themselves when in fact they are just fine as they are. Caring and compassionate, competent and hard working. Kind and easy to get along with. But they are shy without friends so they become target practice for whatever power trip these weirdos are on. Some people just assume that if you are messed with, you must deserve it. These are usually the same people who bully and don't see themselves as bullies.

I should say that I started the process of suing my last employer and my best friend and husband said they would carry me through the process because I was nearly comotose depressed. I decided I was too unwell to follow through but often regret my decision. My office "harassed and iced out people of color". My boss gave me a promotion which should have went to my male boss and when I asked her why he hadn't been offered the position she said "because we don't want a man in our office". A man might have actually put a stop to the harassment! Regardless, it was sexist and an illegal comment. I wish I could say the name of the company because you all know it well and would be shocked by the sickening politics but I prefer not to even give this company the advertising plug.

A few years after I started working there, a black women who had been with the company for years began missing some work. She was showing up in sweats with minimal to zero grooming. She started falling asleep at her desk. I instantly worried she had depression or was suffering. The women in the office began harassing her and started spreading a rumor that she was obviously on drugs, most likely crack and her husband was an obvious crack head. There was zero proof of these allegations and it was just sickening. The lady ended up losing her job after being a loyal employee for years and everyone cheered when she was fired. It's sick!

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I must respectfully disagree with Christina. We should not expect or ever consider it okay if we are being harassed, teased or our lives being made more difficult by the intentional cruelty of other.
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There were times it was so bad and I was already depressed that these peoples actions made me consider terminating my life. That is not ok.

Some people are more sensitive than others. They are more effected by the actions other people take against their person. Sensitive people are not often respected but they are often RIGHT. Assertive people are often respected and they are often WRONG. If we look at this from a position of right and wrong it's clearly the bullies who should stop....not the tormented "getting over it"

I didn't leave the place I worked at because I had the similar harassment at each position I held. These bullies are everywhere. I also didn't know for years if I was hallucinating the whole thing because the illness I have. After I witnessed them doing it to others and driving one girl so crazy she was shaking constantly....I knew for sure I wasn't having delusions of persecution. I worke there for 11 years. If I work someplace new I won't stand for any shenanigans right from the start. I watched those women ruin people's lives and I put what I witnessed against them on file. I told my boss that what was happening to them was unacceptable.

Even if you plan to leave, please go to HR and tell them what these women are doing. 1 complaint might not go to far but if they do it to someone else and another complaint is made, action will be required and you could possibly be the reason someone else gets fair treatment in the future.

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Wow, Elsa, bravo! You hit the nail hard on the head with what you said! I don't get why some people think it's just "normal" behaviour and that we should just ignore it and not do **** about being harassed and that's just what happens to new people and that it does no good to complain about things.

You are right about everything. Perhaps complaining about the bullying will make an impact on the company and force them to take action or at least have something on file so that if this happens again, the next victim will be more likely to be believed.

You are a brave, kind, and strong person and I have a lot of respect for you! You're awesome! I like how you not only stick up for yourself, but others too. I'm a sensitive person. Even one lady at work who quit told me that I have a shy aura and I was like, how did you know that? I never said that I'm shy to anyone! She was a teacher and told me that she's very perceptive. She made me a bit nervous by telling me to be careful there and not to tell anyone anything that I don't want anyone else knowing about.

I told her that I'm well aware of that by now at my age. She was a nice vendor. I'm sorry that you put up with being bullied at so many places like I have. It seems like people who are different, sensitive, caring, and who have issues like us just can't seem to catch a break most of the time. It's like how sharks can smell blood in the water or something like that.

They just know that we're vulnerable and that brings out the beast in them for some reason which I'll never get. It's truly bizarre and makes no sense to me. Some people are more like apes than humans actually, LOL! We're evolved human beings. We're good people who don't deserve to be treated badly.

I myself have thought that something was wrong with me or that I was being overly sensitive, but looking back, I would finally figure things out after a few moths or less at times since I'm smart. Not super smart, but I can sense things and I notice things that others might not notice at times.

Not always, but I usually do. Sometimes I get a bad vibe from some people and I tell myself, I just know that person has to be avoided. I just know that there is something wrong with them. I'm often right about that. Why are us sensitive people treated badly by others at times?

It's not fair at all. I wish that people would just leave us the hell alone and appreciate us for being good people. I hate those loud aggressive types at work. I hate those people who gossip and hurt people just for fun, to fit in, or to boost their own low self esteem or ego.

It's very sick. More should be done about bullying. I myself have tried to kill myself a few times. I have gone through long periods of deep depression over problems at work and other matters to where I was being harassed and shunned by a group of people like school, family, etc....

I hope that you're not being bullied at your current job. What kind of work do you do? As for that poor depressed lady who was made fun of and fired or forced to quit, shame on those nasty people!

She should've taken some sick leave. That is harassment for sure! Those nasty jerks should've been fired for spreading malicious and libelous rumors. If I was the boss there, I would have definitely have called them all into the office including that woman and tell them how their behavior is childish, nasty, rude, definite harassment, and that they could all be sued for defamation of character. I'd then tell them shame on all of you! I'd then demand that they apologize to that lady immediately.

I'd then tell them OK, get the hell out of here, you have half an hour to clean out your desks. You're all fired. I'd then bad mouth them if any of them even tried to use me as a reference. I'd be honest and tell the truth. LOL! I'd be a bullies worse nightmare if I were a boss or manager, lol! They'd be the ones shaking in my presence if I was in charge for sure, LOL! I would make it very clear that anyone who bullies another person will be subjected to immediate dismissal for creating a hostile work environment.

I didn't start standing up for almost 8 years. Another thing these wicked souls did....a lady at work was being abused and stalked by her mentally drug addicted husband. She was an older German lady with very little resources but the nicest lady you can imagine. All the women wanted her fired because they worried her husband would come after us all so they started wickedly harassing and even SCREAMING at her. She ended up being transferred to another department. This women was going through so much and could have really used our support but they harassed her instead. I told her how she was being treated was wrong and like to think I would have said something but she was VERY happy with her transfer so I didn't bother. So many horrible things these wicked people got away with. A few people spoke out but my boss felt "in on it". When I told her it was a hostile work environment, HR was sent right in but they didn't talk to the people responsible and just made a statement to the group which was ridiculous. I told my boss to call them in the office directly so we could directly confront the real issue and I could listen to their side but my boss acted like this was unacceptable which makes no sense. At the end I didn't behave 100% professional....I got beaten down and my resolve and mental health weakened. I called one of the ladies a passive aggressive ***** to her face. I expected to get written up but she acted like she didn't hear it. If I was called in I was going to say I said "passive aggressive much?" And make them prove otherwise. It would have been a lie but they lied left and right for years and got away with it. It was a moment of weakness and I highly doubt even the most reasonable person would have cracked long before I did. My illness and always thinking I deserved it for whatever reason or that I was imagining it kept me from speaking up earlier. Had I have been as direct as I am now I would have put a stop to it. It was illegal activity and very damaging to anyone with half a heart. I currently do not work due to physical and mental illness but hope to go back to work soon as I'm gaining more confidence in myself and my abilities to read the cues of the world. I was far to unsure I could even see reality for a long time and the bullying I've experienced either directly or watching others being harassed cemented my uncertainty. I asked myself why people choose me, but I've seen I'm far from the only one and it's always the shy ones who get it worse. And if you are shy you can't even open up about what's happening very well so it's not like anyone usually stands up for you. I will stand up for myself and anyone it happens to. This is hard for an introvert, we don't like attention and this essentially puts a target on our back. But it's the right thing to do because I've been suicidal, you say you have too....and if you do this to depressed or sensitive people it can result in much harm and even death I believe. It should not be tolerated and people need to stand up. Some people don't even see it happening which means they are lucky or doing the bullying perhaps.

OMG, poor woman! What industry did you work in? You always seem to end up working with the worst of the worst of the apes, I mean people, lol! That's sweet that you stood up for that poor woman! What monsters!

I'm so glad that you told that ***** off, lol! That's to funny. I bet she DID hear it but was to chicken to say anything back, lol. Bullies usually don't like to confront tough people, lol. It's NOT you, it's them! I was the same way for awhile and people would say that I tend to be to sensitive, that I make a big deal of things, and all that crap.

I bet if the same crap happened to them, it would be a big deal. If someone at work called them fat, I doubt they'd be like oh, that's ok, it's no big deal. Hypocrites. I didn't work for years due to being sick of being bullied and harassed at work. I hated most of the work that I did and some of the people there.I wasn't getting paid enough to put up with all the crap I used to put up with. I did freelance work for awhile. I liked it. It's easy and good money. I get to choose my hours too.

It's very inconsistent work though. Why do you think people pick on you? And why do you think that some people like to pick on us shy introverted people who just sit there and mind our own business? I don't get it.

I stand up for myself now too. I'm not afraid to tell people off to their faces. As a matter of fact I'm going to tell the manager there when I pick up my check again about those mean girls. I need to see their reaction. I felt like they were blowing me off on the phone.

I also want to check that girls schedule and then go in there and personally tell her about rude it was of her to call me fat for no reason and why she did it and demand an apology. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm nuts or whatever. I'll be calm about things. Management is doing nothing and I'm seething about this.

She'll deny it probably, BUT I'm sure that she'll think twice before making a nasty remark like that again. I can be brutal, trust me! I should've said something to her then. It's not like I was planning on staying there for the next 20 years or so, lol. Duh! Never again!

I'll tell the other girls who were mean to me that I'm glad that I don't have to put up with their rude behaviour anymore and I don't get why they'd ignore me when I was nothing but nice to them. Eff them, lol. I bet their jaws will drop and some might even cry. Good, lol! I sound like a bully now, but I'm not. I'm merely saying what I should've said to them back when it all started. It's not to late for me.

I'll have to maybe shop at the other stores after that though, lol.That will make them think and stop to maybe not be such *****es after I put them in their place, ha! Management will do nothing. I just know it. They're all friends. It's disgusting.

I think that people who do notice bullying don't try to help since they're afraid of being the next target. Bullies know that people are afraid of them so they get away with a lot and it's not OK. More people need to stand up to them.

They choose the shy or loners because it's an easier prey. Humans are programmed to always take the path of least resistance when attempting something so it just makes sense. As for why they chose me, it was different for each person who chose me. I've had bad luck and I'm a person that some people really like and some people really don't. This was true when I was shy and didn't stand up for myself and true now that I do. I don't feel so powerless anymore....it's better having a voice but it does lead to a great deal of fear and paranoia. And not everyone can stand up for themselves and shouldn't be required to do so in a professional environment constantly. (((Hugs)))

I would just tell that girl "it really hurt my feeling when you called me fat. I like to think you are a good person who doesn't walk around trying to hurt people's feelings so I thought you should know"

Good luck no matter what you decide. I'm just very sorry any of that happened to you and I hope you find your answers on why they do it to you. (((Hugs)))

People are bullied for a variety of reasons unfortunately and working with a therapists and getting objective input from impartial people can help. Good luck.