[Fuzzybear]

Taking sides
Gossip
Ignoring people

[MyBestKids2]

Dee

[SeptemberMorn]

Sometimes we have to have compassion for ourselves. Ignoring people could very well be compassion for ourselves.

Have I ever mentioned a phrase from a song that I use quite often when I'm having trouble? The name of the song is "I'm Free" by Jon Secada. The phrase is "Things are only as important as I want them to be."

If someone is taking the opposing side and gossiping about you, Bear, IGNORE THEM! Have a little compassion on yourself!

What the heck! Here's the whole song!

Do you see what I see
A rainbow shining over us
In the middle of a hopeless storm
Sometimes I'm blinded by my feelings
And I can't see beyond my troubled mind
Afraid of what I'll find
The story of our lives
But there's tomorrow.

Chorus
Cause I'm free, I'm free
And things are only as important
As I want them to be

We'll have a breath of sunshine
When the rain goes away
I pray, I pray.

Do you need a friend right now
In the road that you're going to
If you get lost just call me I'll be there
Yes I'll be right there
Cause though I may not have the answer
At least I know what Im looking for.

Yes I can do without sorrow
There's a day after tomorrow
So I'm leaving behind.

Chorus
I'm free, I'm free
And things are only as important
As I want them to be

We'll have a breath of sunshine
When the rain goes away
I pray, I pray.

And if you want to share my dreams
Well all you have to do is say it, say it
Let me hear you loud and clear
Cause I need you if you wanna be, if you wanna be.

Do you see what I see
A rainbow shining over us
In the middle of a hopeless storm
We'll be safe and warm.

Repeat chorus

[kimmydawn]

I think Sept. hit on a VERY GOOD point.

I was going under...for years barely treading water for many reasons.

When I learned to ignore things as well as people that could maintain appropriate boundaries or didn't have my interest in their thoughts or actions, I did so much better. Yes, ignore can be good...for ourselves, and basically we have to be the ones to care most for ourselves.

It's the same with taking sides...sometimes it's not good. However, there are very important times in our lives that we have to take stands on issues, again...for ourselves and those we love care about.

Now if you're talking about taking sides in an argument...I only do that now in real life if it's directly affecting me and someone is acting out. Otherwise, I won't and if I look at what I just said, it's not really me taking a side, but there again, taking care of me.

Gossiping? No, I've never seen it not do more harm than good. Now, we can inform others of information they should know to be safe, but I think it should stop there.

I hope it feels better for you in real life hon.

KD

[UCLAFan]

I'd like to add to that.Making the busy excuse all the time.My aunt and uncle never have time for anyone. They always say they are so busy.But my Aunt has not worked in over 25 years.You have to be dying for them to care.The reason i say that.Is one relative of mine got ignore by them.Then he got cancer and then all of a sudden they had time for him.When they had no time for him for who knows how long.

[eskielover]

Compassion is not always telling a person what they want to hear....sometimes compassion is being open & not letting someone continue in their dark path because we don't want to hurt them. They have the choice to listen to what we say, or take it as a grain of salt. Sometimes compassion is shaking up a person & getting them out of the rut they are in because they won't do it themselves.

Yes, it might hurt them, but then again, it might actually help them realize what they are doing to themselves & they may actually benefit from listening to something other than "poor baby....it's ok" when actually it isn't ok & there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

What I am talking about more so applies to a close relationship where both people are involved emotionally & we can't just keep putting blinders on because we end up hurting ourselves.

Think we all to much don't want to hurt someone & end up hurting them more by ignoring the situation.

Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[allthegirls6]

Fuzzy,

I think I agree with you. Its important to listen to others and draw your own conclusions. Ingoring the truth does not make it go away. Its a very hard lesson for some to learn

[Fuzzybear]

[Direction]

Fuzzy...I think I've try to ask before as you mention this on occasion...maybe I blind to all this...what is happening that made you post these words?

Feel free to PM me...as I really don't understand?