Really Stressed about sums it up:(

I have been feeling very yucky lately. I went to the ER this weekend to make sure I didn't have anything too major going on like toxicity from lithium. That wasn't the case and I stopped throwing up so they sent me home. I've been disocating a bit I guess. See a pdoc tomorrow, not my usual one, but still worried about what's going to go on there if anything. Very stressed, bills are piling up. I can't seem to find a part time job in the area plus I can't drive so that also limits things... but, anyway, the real reason I was writing here was that my twin sister recently got married, her husband left to serve the rest of his enlistment whatever in the marines so she's living with my mom again rent free. My mom said I could live with her paying a small amount like 200 a month and food; but, the pdoc said it would basically make my illnesses a lot worse and just be unhealthy. I feel like she's throwing things in my face because she pays everything for my sister: her car, insurance, took out loans for her education; when I had to rely on loans and grants based on scholastics/need based grants etc. Am I being selfish or childish or self centered or something? I just don't understand. I know I'm probly whinng that life isn't fair but hey just ignore me if you don't like it. Since my sister met her man online she has pretty much been out for herself 24x7 no consideration for anyone. I don't drive and couldn't get transportation for my T/Doc appointments this week and she wouldn't come down today when I thought the doc was going to see me and I need a heart/bp prescription to take tomorrow morning and don't have it bc I'm not able to get there and back. I'm tired of feeling ill. I hate feeling like used or whatever u want to call it.... being a doormat. I called my sister a %#@&#! ***** because she was yelling at me and saying that basically it was too bad she wasn't going to come up and someone else could pick up my meds and what not. I'm sorry but if that were the case, I wouldn't have asked her. I'm sorry for the ranting but I need to get this out of my system somewhere. I hate namecalling but it just came out and she also said something really uncalled for she said why don't you have that guy you screwed have him bring you! If she said that to me in person, even being the smaller one I think I would have punched her in the face; I was so mad; and still am apparently. Any other views on this crap would be great. I guess I have to remember the sun will come out tomorrow; but, it seems like when it rains, it pours!

A big favor to ask: if you have enough patience to read this much, could you atleast post your reaction or what not? I'd appreciate it. Thanks, Danielle

See if you can balance the stress; look for something that doesn't stress you, something you "like" and do that? When I'm having a hard time I read.

Beating a "dead horse" (your sister) doesn't get you what you need. http://www.humorbin.com/showitem.asp?item=266 She and your mother are obviously not reliable or helpful to you. Don't keep turning that way or you'll keep being stressed and disappointed. Ask the pdoc or hospital or other public agency about transportation help getting to your appointments.

evildouble--

Thank you for posting. Sometimes ranting is good. Just getting it out helps relieve you. This is the place to let go and be heard. I can understand your feelings, and I am sorry things are so rough right now. Family can be difficult. It seems sometimes, they can be the most judgemental and hurtful. I am glad you felt you could let go here. You have a right to your feelings. I send you good thoughts and prayers your way. I hope things get better but know you can post anytime and you are heard. Keep posting and know I care.

purplesecrets

you have a tremendous amount going on in your life - I would be "ranting and raving" too... if you can even call it that...for me.. it sounds like you are letting your frustrations out.. and it has got to be frustrating - the lack of money, the not driving..
I have had periods of time in my life like that..

So.. this is a good place for you be able to express yourself..