Appropriate time of day to send a text?

I was texting this guy all day yesterday and it was great. We're going to have a date next week and I'm really wanting to talk to him again today, right now in fact, but I know he's probably asleep.

I am probably going to wait until 9-10AM-ish though, because I feel right now isn't an appropriate time. Right?

I'd slow down until I meet him to avoid premature attachment and dissapointmrnt

The thing is, I went to sleep fairly early last night and when I woke up super early this morning, I saw he had sent me a text while I was asleep. I feel it's proper protocol to send a reply ASAP.

Artchic...if he works..a more appropriate time would be around lunch time.
If he doesn't work...or if he is in school...lunch time as well.

If he doesn't do either...than I think you should look for a new guy.
I say this because we get caught up with emotions and attention when we connect with someone new and we are not always thinking rationally. I just want you to protect yourself and your future.

This whole concept of texting all day long is stupid. Is this now a thing to do?

To me, it's the same thing as talking for way too long on the phone. The reason why it is bad is the same as I've told you before. It has you both running out of things to say before you ever even get to have your first date! You both will get bored of each other very quickly as you will run out of things to say.

Also, the thrill of constantly hearing that little ping of a message on your phone, feeling constant attention from him, cannot possibly continue as people have lives and are busy, plus you will run out of things to say. What can you possibly say all day in texts with someone? Now I am on the toilet... now I am washing dishes... did I tell you about the time I...?

Save your pearls for when you are on the dates with him.

So, as for when you should text him back... I'd say just don't. I'm sure he will text you again since he is interested. Then put this back on track by not doing the constant text thing. Tell him you are looking forward to you date and keep the texting brief. Otherwise, you may never get to that date one week from now.

I text based on the other persons schedule. I know who my early risers are and will message early if I feel like it. They all know not to message me too late as I won't get the message until the morning anyway.

Then again, everyone knows I don't expect a reply asap but only when the person is able. I don't get upset if it takes awhile.

Well, in my own defense, we talked all day yesterday about various things, and it all felt natural. No, the bathroom didn't come up in our conversation, nor did washing the dishes. I do understand giving each other space, but I really feel attracted to him. We would talk on the phone, but A.) he has a job, and B.) we both have an aversion to talking on the phone in general.

It's just, I am a people pleaser deep down, and when I like a person, I want to do things to make them happy. I want him to know that I wasn't trying to be rude or disinterested last night when I didn't reply, but that I fell asleep.

I do get not wanting to come off as overly clingy/needy/eager but I don't want to seem disinterested either. I also want to just be myself, because I want him to like me for me. It's all so complicated!!

I'm going to wait till about 11 or so to reply to his text and explain that I fell asleep. That, to me, sounds appropriate.

I'll be completely honest and say that I don't think this one can be nailed down by anyone but the person with whom you are texting. There is no rule that can be set except by yours and his standards IMO. Therefore the person you should be asking is the person you are texting to. Some may not mind, like me, texts at any time because frankly, I keep my phone on silent 99% of the time and it doesn't really interrupt my day. Plus I text back when I feel like it and although most times that's as soon as I see it, and other times when I have a moment to pause, think and reply. I only use myself as one example, that it probably wouldn't matter with me, and to make a point that there are any number of texting habits out there, and no one here knows his.

Ask him.

I only text very close friends at weird hours when I am in crisis mode (as a carer for my mother) but I don't expect a reply. It's just one of the things I do to let people know what's happening and how I am. I can't imagine texting a date like that, but that's because I can't ever imagine having a date. I work, I care for my mother, my cat and the house and that's it. I sincerely wish you every happiness with finding someone right for you. If I'd made as much effort as you when I was younger, maybe I wouldn't be where I am now (crazy old spinster looking after 85 year old mum, with no life). Go for it!

That sounds like a plan. I hope he's the one.

The one? Isn't it a bit premature to be thinking of such things?

Who am I kidding? I hope he's the one too!

My husband and I text each other throughout the day. I also do with my adult daughter. We all work and briefly text at breaks lunch passing time etc Saying that we clearly know each other and it works for us. I just think since you have never met, you might want to refrain from excessive communication. You liked other guys before and it was a dissapointmrnt. Just wait until you meet. In a meanwhile talk but not all day. Just imho

I can see your point. I am thinking about asking him if I bother him too much with my texting habits.

No! Don't do that. You are already creating an issue.

The quality of the time spent together actually on a date physically in-person is far greater than a whole week of non-stop texting. Remember, your goal is to get to go on that date. Stop with the texting for no reason.

I'm getting a little confused. I wasn't going to use that exact phrasing, just ask him how often he'd like to text so it would be comfortable for him.

Why? Why is this constant texting a thing? I don't get it.

If there's one thing I am really good at, it's getting asked and taken on the actual date. Lol

You have a date set with him for next week, right? So what are you doing all this texting about? Ok, if you want to send a quick 'how's you day?' And then stop. But what's with all the texting?

If it is an inapporpriate time to phone him I believe it is an inappropriate time to text him. Personally my thoughts are if you are close enough to start dating, you ought to be conversing on the phone.

Well, the thing about talking on the phone is that he and I both have an aversion to it in general. I see both yours and Tisha's points.

Tisha, I guess you're more or less geared toward old fashioned communication, were as I am more comfortable with just texting.

I don't have a problem with texting vs. talking on phone. I am saying to save your conversation for the date or you may end burning out before the date even happens. This texting each other all day about nothing is weird, especially with a guy you haven't even had a first date with.

Do what you think is best, and yes, you do have to be yourself, I understand.

But I have had so much experience in this area and it doesn't matter whether you are 20 or 50 and an old dinosaur like me or spring chicken like you. ;-)

Idk If I can agree with it being weird, let alone 'saving conversation". I mean if you're afraid you're going to run out of things to say to each other, you should stop right then and there. considering that in many cases people shoot for a long term partner, if the case of running out of conversation in the first days of talking is the case there is no foundation for a relationship in the first place beyond a few weeks. If you really hit it off with someone, not only will you find out during your first conversations, you will also be able to likely talk about any and everything under the sun, including the mundane things.

I don't think it's weird at all. I think it's just a new way of conversation.

Mind you I will agree that when people do texting and it is all they do, ongoing wise, it's a problem, but I think it's ok to keep in touch this way and even get to know someone via texting, chat, Skype or whatever online means prior to actually dating.

Again, though I realize this is my opinion and you have yours. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying I see it differently, please understand me!

I'm also against the texting all day long. There is no appropriate time to text me. People text me at all hours. I respond when I'm able. Granted, I typically don't respond in the middle of the night, and I respond very quickly during the day, but it's not a guarantee. When I text people, I don't expect a response right away either.

I guess it just depends on who you're texting.

I don't think it's texting versus calling. I think excessive communication to a stranger might be too much simply because you haven't met yet. Do talk daily but not all day long. Imho

Exactly.

You want to keep a bit of mystery. You want him to be looking forward to taking you out and getting to know you.

You are going to be the girl he sees in person and imagines in a wedding gown!

You want him to want to see you in person and want to see you again for another date in person and so on...

If you are discussing everything under the sun, available for him 24/7, why does he need to see you in person?

I just watched a hilarious Netflix special by comedienne Ali Wong all about this stuff. You should watch it.