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#1
Dec 10, 2016, 05:42 PM
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I really don't know if i'm coming or going...? My hearts telling me one thing & my brain is driving me mad saying the other... I feel a heavy gut-pit most of the time, horrible deep wrenching feeling... But i cant seem to walk away...? I feel used, unloved, worthless. & he just doesn't seem to care... The lies, under-handed, deceit just keeps coming... & I DONT KNOW WHY...
Everything is such hard work... We dont do anything apart from argue & fight because he doesnt wanna listen to how i feel which in-turn leaves me frustrated & rejected... He doesnt take me out, he just takes off me, steals from me, lies to me about the most stupid things... Then blames everything on me... He puts me down saying the most horrible things... He lies to other people & his family about me... As i'm writing this i'm thinking what the hell are you on...? Who in there right mind would keep putting up with or being treated so badly all the time.... So what the hell is wrong with me...? 
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 Skeezyks
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#2
Dec 11, 2016, 03:06 PM
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Hello Meme2015: I enjoy watching the British mysteries they show on our local public television station. One of my favorites is "Vera". (Vera is a Detective Chief Inspector in the Northeast England county of Northumberland.) Anyway, there was a line in one of the programs (while they're investigating a murder of course), where Vera's Detective Sergeant asks why a woman would stay with a man who treated her the way one of the women characters in the show had been treated. Vera's response was that there are some women who will put up with anything not to be left alone. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you are, perhaps, one of those women?
 I noticed you also list yourself as being a survivor of abuse & rape. It is also true I think that, in spite of ourselves, we tend to fall into the same types of relationships we've experienced previously. The good news here, to the extent there is any, is that you are aware of the situation you are in & you can make a different choice. I send hugs your way with the hope that you will be able to find the strength to do so...  By the way, are you familiar with the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1 (800) 799-7233 The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support Perhaps there is some information & / or support available there that can be of some assistance. 
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| Meme2015
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 Meme2015
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