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#1
Dec 26, 2016, 10:32 PM
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I raised my little sister as her mom was always passed out. We're 9 years apart and have different moms but the same dad. My dad had an affair on my mom with my sisters mom. And our dad is a problem. I have PTSD from my childhood and my sister has no memory as she was too young and then lived with her grandparents for awhile. She never was around to see the horrible things my father has done to my brother and I. The beatings. Him being drunk and stoned out of his mind. He once handed me a loaded gun and told me to end myself. I was 15.
Well my sister is 20 now and living at home with my dad and brother. And my dad and I don't have a good relationship because I'm MI and In his eyes, im just lazy and weak. And I admit, he's 62 now and has calmed down immensely. Barely drinks anything compaired to when I was a kid. Well everytime I talk to my sister about my MI she says "nothing's wrong with you just get a job". Maybe she forgot that I lost every job because of my MI. It's sad to say, but she is ignorant just like my dad. Well this past summer my dad had to financially bail me out from losing my house. I'm in the process of getting SSI and haven't been able to work in a year. Well he said to pay him back, I could give my little sister my new, barely driven car, In exchange for her 20 year old car. Well I have no money so I felt it was the only way I could pay him back. You think she ever said thank you for the new car? No. Well the other day I was stranded in her old car at a gas station in 7 degree weather because my battery died. I texted my sister to see if she could come help. No reply. So a stranger luckily jumped me so i went to my dads to get cables incase it happened again. And there was my little sister... laying in bed... on her phone. Meaning she got my text that i was in trouble, and ignored it. My bf says all the time how ungrateful she is and he's right. I can't believe I changed this girls diapers and almost failed school because I had to take care of her while her mom and my dad were out partying. And this is how she treats me after I gave up my new car to her. There's many many instances I can think of but I'll save you all the story book. So i really can't see me and her ever understanding eachother. Or her ever admit that I'm MI. She thinks she's too good for everyone. She is turning into my father. I really don't like who she's grown up to be. I give up. I feel bad to say it. But I don't think I like her. |
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#2
Dec 26, 2016, 10:59 PM
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Your family is toxic. I would go very low or no contact with them. I have had to do the same with my family. They also refuse to acknowledge the past and what happened, although my situation is a bit different. I am the youngest and my parents got worse as time went on, and my brothers weren't there for what I went through. And then one of my brothers was my abusers and my parent refuse to remember it, even though the fact that he was a drug addict and threatened to kill me almost every day and hit me, etc., is a fact. It's not in my imagination. Those things happened. But everyone turns a blind eye to them. So I have close to no contact with my family. I'm an adult. I have friends. I have my own career, I have my dogs. I have my hobbies, I stay happy and fulfilled. It's sad that I can't have much of a relationship with my family, but it's how it is.
I think you'll be happier if you build relationships elsewhere. Rely on your boyfriend. Try some support groups in person, like NAMI. Or try Adult Children of Alcoholics. Make friends with people who get it. That's what I've done. Good luck, seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#3
Dec 26, 2016, 11:03 PM
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Thank you for understanding. Almost every T I've been to has said the same thing. I don't answer texts and i ignore my dads calls. I had to go there on xmas eve and ended up in the ER from a panic attack after being around them. It was a total crap show of a dinner.
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#4
Dec 26, 2016, 11:09 PM
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Quote:
I frankly don't care. It's okay to keep the connection if it makes you feel better. Just don't expect anything out of it, and keep it very distant and light. (I have to remind myself of that too.) And I understand the financial difficulty. I also owe my father some money, but I have plans as to how I'm going to pay that back and be done with him forever. Seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#5
Dec 27, 2016, 02:09 PM
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That's terrible. I am sorry
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#6
Dec 27, 2016, 04:07 PM
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 My mother in law always says "you can't pick your relatives." There is no reason you have to like her. Sounds like your whole family is toxic and unsupportive. For your own physical and mental health it may be best to minimize contact with them as much as possible.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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