[lizable]

I have this unrealistic- not totally conscious- plan that I need to have my life all together and be healthy and happy and have everything figured out before I let anyone near me or allow myself to entertain the idea of a relationship. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe I feel like it will be too overwhelming to deal with it all at once even though I know logically- that's life. Part of me feels like it's because I'm afraid if I let myself hope for anything to happen right now I will get let down because no good relationship could come at this time- because no respectable person would be interested in the severely flawed, unhealthy, overweight version of me that exists at the moment. And still another thing I'm thinking is that this whole idea that I'm the one making the decision to keep everyone at a safe distance for whatever reason is just a mental coverup for the fact that there has been no interest and no activity in that area of my life for a good four years. Is it really that I am keeping men away on PURPOSE? Or are they just staying away?

[Crazy Hitch]

I don't know that I've ever had my "life all together" and if I waited on that, I'd be single forever. I'm continually working on myself and finding and discovering what makes me happy. There is no finish line when I'll say I'm done. I'll just enjoy the journey.

[LadyShadow]

I used to be like that. I used to think that if I had everything together, job, weight under control, beautiful and confident again, I would be ready for a relationship again. I don't know what changed my mind about that, possibly just the realization that the years are just passing and nothing is really changing.

So as Crazy Hitch said, I am just enjoying life as is, and if someone comes in my path I won't turn them away even if all my goals aren't met yet.

[TishaBuv]

Find another flawed person who is also on a path of improvement and journey together. Express interest in others, put yourself out there, and others will be interested in you. Life is a journey. There is no perfection.

[Apokolips]

Love is not about finding the perfect person. It's about loving an imperfect person perfectly.

[Shazerac]

You could be avoiding people yes. Perhaps you need to work on accepting and loving yourself just as you are. No one is perfect... no one. If you wait for perfection ...life will pass you by.

[LifeInProgress]

I am far from perfect, but I have people who love me. The people I love are imperfect. We all have problems and issues.

It is hard to put yourself out there when you feel everyone else has it together better than you do.