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#1
Oct 10, 2002, 10:41 AM
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Well, I have had a very agonizing week. I am so confused about life and my marriage and what is best. I really want to be happy and I deserve that. So, I have written to my husband a letter which explains exactly the problems I am having with this marriage and what needs to happen for me to even consider trying. That would be counseling together and an honest effort in his part..well to be honest. I feel our relationship was built on lies because he is not the man he made me feel he was. Our wedding day was a lie because he didn't want to get married and he couldn't tell me, the first six months of marriage complete hell because he couldn't be honest, couldn't deal with his own stuff and took it out on me. He hasn't been horrible this last 14 months but it hasn't been good. In our relationship he has not kept one single promise he made for me to come here. He hasn't been the loving, supportive, honest man he said he was. I find myself very angry, hurt and disapointed. I think if he can't be the man he made himself out to be then I don't belong with him. I want that man and if he faked it then he's a jerk. See? Angry!!
So I will at some point give him the letter because it is the only way I can get it all out and stick around if he wants to talk. If he is a jerk about it. I am done. If he says no or complains about counseling, I am done. If he is open and wants to really put effort I will stay but ONLY if we get help. My friend has been such a good support for me. She really gets me and is so there for me. She is ready for me to give him the letter and help me deal with whatever happens afterwards. I know there is a chance that after this weekend I will be moving and I have this sick scared feeling deep in my gut. I have to do this. It's what's best for me. I am very afraid but I know I will live no matter what. I don't have family here to stay with and my friend doesnt have a place but there is a womans shelter I can go to. My friend went there years ago and she said they were very nice. Wish me luck!! Heidu
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There is a time in life when you stop existing and start living. There is a time in life when you are given a new chance and new dreams. There is a time in life when the old is to be forgotten and the new embraced. There is a time in life......And that time is now. Unknown |
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#2
Oct 10, 2002, 03:45 PM
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I wish you the best of luck. You have been working toward this for a long time. I am proud of you to get it on paper. Now is the hard part, actually giving it to him. You will be in my thoughts.
Zen <font color=blue>I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but, it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud |
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#3
Oct 10, 2002, 04:03 PM
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Heidu, Just read your post. I don't know your story but I wish you all the best in what you are about to do. I wish you the best of luck with passing the message on to your husband. I believe in you let us know how you get on. Be strong I know that's easier said then done. Keep posting. Dark.
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#4
Oct 10, 2002, 06:31 PM
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Good luck hun, we're with you in heart.
bp "A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart." |
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#5
Oct 10, 2002, 09:37 PM
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you have a right to be angry and frustrated. however, i do believe people do change. i doubt anyone married for several years is married to the "same" person. YES, you do deserve to be with someone who's willinging to do anything for you, just to be close to you. poohey on him, if he can't even try. (((((hugs)))))
<font color=purple> But a stranger in a strange land, he is no one: men know him not and to know not is to care not for. Bram Stoker, Dracula, 1897 </font color=purple> |
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#6
Oct 11, 2002, 10:29 AM
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Well he knows something is wrong and he wants to talk tonite. In a coupe hours I should have the answers or some clue as to which way my life is headed.
Thanks for all your support you guys. I really need it right now and I will let you know what happens. Heidu
__________________
There is a time in life when you stop existing and start living. There is a time in life when you are given a new chance and new dreams. There is a time in life when the old is to be forgotten and the new embraced. There is a time in life......And that time is now. Unknown |
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#7
Oct 11, 2002, 12:41 PM
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You in my thoughts heidu. I wish you the best of luck.
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#8
Oct 11, 2002, 01:11 PM
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Heidu...you are in my thoughts...good luck...you don't deserve to live like this...reach deep down and do what you feel is right, what you would do all you had to consider what what would make you truly happy...in the end that is what really counts.
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#9
Oct 11, 2002, 03:02 PM
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Yeah JSC we do change with time. I think though, Heidu's husband changed overnight. As soon as she was married to him and had moved over to where he lives far from her family. That is such a hard thing.
Hugs to you Heidu. Love Zen <font color=blue>I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but, it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud |
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