Dad cut me off..should I respond to xmas card?

My StepDad was the only one in my family still speaking to me, until my sister in law told him lots of lies about me. He took her at her word and emailed a really nasty rant about how I am just a lazy B.... and doesnt believe my severe ME makes me so disabled. It was filled with untrue accusations that really hurt, but he ended it saying he didnt want anything more to do with me. I didnt address any of it to defend myself, but now he has sent a xmas card saying he hopes I am getting better. I am torn between ignoring it out of anger, and taking the opportunuity to tell him the truth. Confused about whether I even want someone so destructive back in contact even though I am completely alone. Any advice welcome...!

I'd explain to him the situation.. it's not fair you have to suffer because of your sister So yeah.. You don't have to, though. It's your choice. It's kinda weird he trusted your sister without even a second guess. not sure if it's his fault or not.

Either way, I'm sorry

If he sent a "get better" message then perhaps he thought about the situation and finally started believing you.
I would thank him, and expand on the situation. Write in text, tell him your sister is lying. Do you know why she is doing that? If you do, mention it.
Be strong. I know how difficult it can be to take action under such conditions, but fighting for your own rights will make you stronger.

Send him back a Christmas card saying you are glad he reached out and you'd like to see him soon. Then have that heart to heart.

Just thank him for the Christmas wishes and wait for a good time in person to bring up the other stuff.

I agree, I think you could send him a Christmas card back, and tell him you want to talk. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

You know, it's such a mind-**** that they do this. My dad has cut me off too because of an argument between the two of us. We haven't talked since February when I called him to let him know I was going back to work and moving. No contact since then. Nothing on my birthday, nothing. I decided against sending him any cards for his birthday or any holidays. I prefer the no contact. He's toxic.

So a couple days ago he asks if my address is still the same. I replied yes. I was expecting to get a lawsuit. Wouldn't have surprised me. Instead he sent me some pillows my grandmother had made (she passed away a couple of years ago), and he sent a Hannukah card with an amazon gift card for $25. I really don't know what to think. I do not recall him sending me anything for my birthday. Also, in the past, cards and such from him have always been signed by him and my stepmom. This was just from him.

He lives in the same state. If I go out tomorrow and get a card and something to send to him, it should get to him during Hannukah. I just don't know. What does it mean that he sent me this gift? I think it has two meanings. I think he wants me to know he still cares and also wants me to feel guilty. (I know this man, I know his tactics.)

I don't know if I should reciprocate or not.

Any advice?

Seesaw

I don't think you have to reciprocate. And even if you do, you don't need to rush - you can think about whether or not you want him in your life and send him a thank you note a month from now if you do.

You're better than he is as a person.

There must be some motivation behind him sending you a card. Surprise him and send one back.

I'm not so sure I would send back a greeting card in reply, but I would acknowledge that he sent one out to you.