Dating, Communication and Letting go..

Communication has never been one of my strongest points. I haven’t figured out yet exactly why I have such a hard time with it. I do much better through written words than I do verbal. However now days I’m really focusing on becoming a better communicator verbally. I’m much better than I was even a year ago.

In about a week or so I’ve got to communicate some really hard feelings. I’ve been kind of dating someone for the last 7 months and I’ve got to tell her that it just isn’t working out. This is going to be hard for me to tell her. There’s something about her that pulls me in. Even though I know she’s not right for me for many reasons.

I’ve got to put my feelings into words in such a way that I don’t come across as attacking or blaming her. So I’m thinking of writing it out first to get it out of my head before I talk to her.

Letting go has never been one of my strong points either, but I can’t settle for anything less than awesome.

Good idea, writing it out will help you focus. I wouldn't just rehearse a speech though, I would write down the points you want to make and let her down as easily as possible. It's not going to be easy or painless but she needs to know how you feel.

It's a tough position that you're in but I admire your honesty and the fact that you've made the decision to communicate this with her. You know within your heart the right thing to do.

Sounds like your doing the right thing the right way. Writing things put is a good way of you putting your thoughts in order, and not to get caught up in trivialities.
Good luck and all the best.

Thanks all! I did some writing last night and also talked to my therapist about it. It helped get some of my feelings out and relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling about it.

I'm not sure when the communication about this will take place. The person I've been kind of dating is out of town until at least Monday. When the time is right it will take place.

I would do my best to be gentle, if you can. It's hard to hear after 7 months that something isn't working out. Does she have any idea it's coming?

Seesaw

I will be gentle for sure. She may have an idea. We haven't talked in a couple days now. I don't think it's going to come out of the blue because things have been so awkward the last few months.