I don't trust my Mom to know about my mental health issues

So as the title says, I don't feel like I can trust my Mom to know about my mental health issues. I have had many issues over the years but I don't feel like I can trust her enough to go to her and talk about them. The main thing that is stopping me from doing so is her reactions to certain things. The first one that comes to mind was that someone asked if I was in mainstream classes, at the time I didn't care what is meant and my mom said I was. Later on she started to scream at me saying how they thought I was a retard. She has also made fun of me wanting candles in the bathroom during a blackout, saying that I was afraid of the dark and wouldn't listen to me when I said otherwise. She oftentimes makes fun of me, I dont think I can trust her to know anything about my mental health. Is there a way to trust her again or should I just not try?

I think it depends on your age and whether or not you're a minor as to how much she would need to know at any given point in time and she is your legal guardian.

This may be something your pdoc may be able to give you more advice on.

It doesn't sound productive speaking to her about your general MI things.

Do you see a counsellor?

I am 18 years old, but I still live with her.
I don't have a therapist yet as I need to set up an appointment with one, nor have I ever really been to one.

Try the age old trick- tell her but tell her indirectly. Pretend you're talking about a friend and see what she says or how she reacts it'll give you a good idea whether or not you can trust her with this. I'm sorry you even have to debate telling her. Is there another in your life that you can confide in? Maybe a relative or a neighbor or even your best friend's parent (s)

Given how she's treated you in the past, I just wouldn't tell her anything.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

And people tend to not change unless its something they've actively been working on.

I don't see her logic in not wanting some form of light in a bathroom during a blackout? If candles are a concern there are LED options that use batteries. Homes need a backup plan for lost electricity regardless of geography.

What's there to discuss as far as MI is concerned? If she hasn't sorted out what makes you tic and tock by now, I'm not sure what's to be gained in a parent/child relationship.

Sorry that she's worried that others see you and lacking in intellect? Wherever does she hear this from?

My own mom was more concerned about what people would think of her than giving a thought to my own needs.

Some of this behavios sounds horrible.. I'm sorry you have to put up with i I personally would be scared of telling her, as well..

I'd be scared too... there is such a stigma associated with depression

For the intellect thing, it happened at Christmas when we were at my ex- stepmoms sisters house when my step mom's dad asked if i was cause I was playing with this floppy hat(that was what my mom said made him ask)
I don't know why she didn't want any light in the bathroom? We had loads of candles and whatnot so idk.
I know she probably doesn't care about my mental health, she never cared before when I was having behavioural issues throughout school, and I kno she doesn't know how to handle me.

I just recently moved back here, so I don't know my neighbors and my friends are all in a different state.

Your mother sounds rather NPD (narcissistic) quite possible she is the cause of your issues? Narcissistic parents tend to be destructive & drain you of self esteem and joy.
Mine did.
Unfortunately toxic people tend to use any vunerablities you tell them about as weapons to ridicule and control. Don't tell her anything.

Are you sure you even have mental health issues? If you've never been to a psych doc, what makes you think you do?

The only thing I've been for sure diagnosed with is sensory processing disorder. For the past year I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts and have planned out my suicide. I have problems with paranoia and extreme fears (fearing there is a man outside my window watching me, fearing that cameras are recording my every move) Along with emotional problems so bad that my elementary school wanted to put me in medications for it.

I can understand your fears and also you need to have someone listen and understand. Unfortunately, your mom isn't that person. Is your health the reason you have had to go back home?
Just wondering what brought you back to your mother's .

I never left, after highschool we moved back down to Oregon and I had no job and rent here is to expensive even with the job I now currently have. Even the place we live in right now isn't my mom's, it's my uncle's. I want to leave but I don't know if I ever will be able to.

Save up as much money as you possibly can. I know it seems impossible, but there is ALWAYS a way to move out and move on.

You're 18 and unless your issues directly affect the relationship, your living arrangements or anything, there is no reason she needs to know. It would be ideal to be able to talk to our parents about everything but the fact is that's rarely the case.

I would honestly ask yourself why you would be motivated to tell her about it. If it's for support, then there is no reason that because she's your mother she would offer the best support. Everything she's done and said seems to point to the opposite and someone that might add to your problems by not being supportive but judgmental.

If it's to be closer to your mother then I would say just because she doesn't know your MI, does not mean that she can't be close to you. there are other ways to gain this closeness with your mother.

In all relationships we have to pick and choose the ones we share various subjects with, do different things with and who can be trusted with what. A parent isn't necessarily the best one to share mental health issues with and in fact many times they are a bad choice for this.

As a mother, I can tell you - it takes years for us not to see our children as children. To her, you are not unmoldable. She still feels an obligation to influence and control.

I think you are not able to have a relationship of equal respect yet. She doesn't sound very nice and supportive, and as much as you might want it, she may - or may not - EVER see you as an equal. Some parents just don't.

I would say, for now, continue taking care of developing yourself. It is imparetive that you understand the one best friend you must always be able to count on is yourself. Developing self respect, and self love, and self trust is so important.

When you have conversations with your parent about private things in your life, I would suggest you use opening phrases that suggest trust. Don't just throw conversation starters in the middle of making a salad. Have set times, 'when would be a good time to talk" - "I have been thinking of sharing something personal with you, would you like me too?" - "Mom, how do you feel about my living here after graduation, would you like that, or are you thinking you would prefer me to find something else".

Listen to how she responds. Does this person even see you with any respect they would give a stranger from work?

Understand?

Now is a time the relationship from parent and child will begin changing as to one adult to another, but the child is always ready for this change years before a parent.

Try learning who she is. If she is just a disrespectful jerk who will not be kind to you, I would say she doesn't deserve to be your friend. Just a mother you would always appreciate.

My mom thinks that I caused my own mental health problems by not having good morals. She has told me, more than once, to "just get over it." Product of her time, I guess (she is 80 years old).
Super frustrating, and it made me feel like I was defective the whole time I was growing up. And now, too, actually (I'm 44).
If there is even a small chance that your mom might try to embarrass you or make you feel ashamed for opening up to her, I say DON'T. And that sucks. Sorry.

What if you were to take her with you to a session with your therapist or psychiatrist. Have you officially been diagnosed?

The doctor wouldn't tell my parents my diagnoses as I was eighteen. They STILL don't know and I doubt I will tell them. They think its bipolar but its worse. You are an adult, time to stand on your own two feet.
id be utterly crestfallen to be called some of the names she called you, furious even.

You must be very angry? Its natural

Hello there, I definitely understand what you've been going through. Sometimes parents/family just don't understand what we are going through. It's strange how our friends or strangers can accept us and make us feel better, help us to survive more than our own family but I wish you the best and I hope you'll stay strong no matter what. You are strong and you are worth it.