[Maniae]

I can't seem to normalize my thoughts or my life. Guilt sets in. I can't shake off awkwardness, unproductiveness, unhappiness, etc. I often feel like I am in the twilight zone.
I want to be normal but I no longer have emotions of a normal nature.
I went outside to walk the dog then a strong feeling of sadness overloaded my brain. I came back in, sat down, and started to mourn & cry. But why? I'm not 100% sure. We walked 4 houses down then back home. What happened between that time? I honestly don't know.

The dog didn't do anything. No one was outside, one vehicle passed us. So what caused the shift in my emotions? I was initially excited to get some air & exercise.

Now I am sitting here crying & trying to pinpoint my sadness.

Some sort of depression? Maybe speak to a therapist? Look at posts at the depression/bipolar/psychotherapy forums? I have recovered from my depression (though relapsing is possible) so with the right help, you may improve too......

[Tsukiko]

Maniae, I have had similar experiences countless times. The tears start flowing and I feel as though I've lost someone or something, yet there's no cause for the emotion. And the forgetting of what you were doing for a certain period of time...this has happened to me a lot.
I don't know the whole situation, but it seems you may have depression. Do you visit a therapist? Take medication? When I am on antidepressants, the dissociation and the uncontrollable sadness are in check. Perhaps it would work for you as well.
Best of luck. Let us know how you're doing.

Originally Posted by Maniae

I can't seem to normalize my thoughts or my life. Guilt sets in. I can't shake off awkwardness, unproductiveness, unhappiness, etc. I often feel like I am in the twilight zone.
I want to be normal but I no longer have emotions of a normal nature.
I went outside to walk the dog then a strong feeling of sadness overloaded my brain. I came back in, sat down, and started to mourn & cry. But why? I'm not 100% sure. We walked 4 houses down then back home. What happened between that time? I honestly don't know.

The dog didn't do anything. No one was outside, one vehicle passed us. So what caused the shift in my emotions? I was initially excited to get some air & exercise.

Now I am sitting here crying & trying to pinpoint my sadness.

[Anrea]

I am diagnosed with bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.

Sometimes it is difficult to know the difference between normal, or symptom of disorder for me.

I have this thing you described. What is normal, and why do my emotions feel like they are just floating from one area to another randomly and without triggers.

I don't know why, but I have that too. Good luck to you, discovering what entertains you, and invigorates your mind will lead you to have less of that.

A sense of purpose takes it away. Having too much mental free time for me isn't always a good thing. Sometimes it is, because it calms me down, but other times it is just fodder for random sad thoughts to take hold.