At this point in my life I'm trying really really hard to find out where atleast part of my depression came from. And the past 5 years have showed my parents aren't helping. I first wonna say I feel horrible for saying what I'm going to because it makes me sound rude toward my elders and most of all my parents.

I've never felt comfortable with my parents,..in private or public,..its not an embarrasment issue ,..instead its an understanding issue. My mother and her mother like me suffered/suffer from severe depression, my grandmother was suicidal and my mom worried so much about her tthat she failed 5 straight years of school and finally quit in the 7th grade at the age of 16..My mother grew up rough,..and I was inherited with her traits.

My mother and father both are extremely close yet distant. They care about my life, but not about my soul. Its a hard concept to describe. Its just I don'thave support I just have a nagging worry which yes in ways is support but after my T's speaking with them and me...they still cannot find it in them to just listen rather then think ahead. I'm not saying its there fault it could be mine,..I just know my relationship with my parents and I is distant..I can't look them in the face...when I do I cringe....I can't discuss but minor things because I don't trust them,...and I just don't feel there my loving parents...I want to so badly tho!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really worried I sounded rude in this posst..I just dunno how else to descirbe my pain with communcating with the ppl I'm supposed to adore!....

This is 1 path I must make ....on my own.

[bebop]

I had sort of the same kind of relationship with my mother. very strained to say the least. I wish you all the best and remember one thing. You can be and do anything with the desire. I know I overcame alot from my childhood. Good luck hon. wish I had some magic words for you.

Moonkin, i can't remember....are you in therapy now? you don't have to do this "alone". you need support for your growth as a person. i understand how you feel about your parents. i never, ever told my parents anything. i kept it all inside.

it harmed me by keeping my feelings stuffed inside me. i do hope that you are receiving enough support here and with a T, so that you can continue to develop. i've seen much growth in you since you first came here. xoxo pat