[livelaughlove_94]

Do you think it's healthy for a person to feel anger, bad moodiness, sadness, annoyance and a whole host of other negative emotions and feelings that gets worse and worse around or when dealing with a certain person (like a family member) ?

Said person perhaps being someone who has been verbally abusive in the past on many occasions, felt a lot of self pity for themselves whilst having said basically that you were wrong to be depressed (I was depressed about something in my own life for a while but never sat about moping and whining about it) because your problems weren't very big compared, and having been extremely temperamental and overly-controlling and clingy in the past as well as now still sometimes

I don't act on it or anything but for the vast majority of the time I don't particularly like being around this person and when aggravated by said person quite often I feel like I'm slowly but surely losing it inside and need to just get as far away from them as possible

What to do and anyone had any experiences like this ?

[Skeezyks]

Hello livelaughlove: Members here on PC who know me know I am fond of the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. And in her writings Ani Pema teaches that the people who cause us to become angry, sad, frustrated, or irritable, as well as people in whom we delight, are our teachers. They show us where we're stuck. And in fact, often, the things about other people we find to be most intolerable are often the aspects of ourselves we find most unacceptable & would most wish to keep buried.

So, from that perspective, exposing ourselves to people who "push our buttons", so to speak, is a good thing. It presents us with opportunities to become more self-aware & to develop compassion both for ourselves as well as others. Now of course, having written that, there's a limit to everything! At least that's my personal perspective. One can only take so much. And I think it's important for us to be "mindful" of how we're doing so that, hopefully, if-&-when we begin to simply reach our limit with regard to a given situation... or person... we have the opportunity to take some type of constructive action to remedy the situation (including just removing ourselves from the premises) before we lose control of our own emotions & perhaps explode with anger ourselves, fall deeper into depression, or whatever. Creating that kind of space in our day-to-day lives is a large part of what Ani Pema teaches. So I think she would agree... (hopefully...)

Anyway, I don't know if any of that answers your question. But it's what occurred to me as I read your post. I wish you well...

[livelaughlove_94]

Yeah...it's not exactly just "pushing buttons" tbh it's more being fed up of being controlled etc. I'm also aware of mindfulness but it doesn't mean that person should be let off just because of their past or "negative" life experiences. It doesn't give them a right to be how they are all the time/vast majority of the time, whatever Buddhist's may say...

Anyway thanks for your input

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello livelaughlove: Members here on PC who know me know I am fond of the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. And in her writings Ani Pema teaches that the people who cause us to become angry, sad, frustrated, or irritable, as well as people in whom we delight, are our teachers. They show us where we're stuck. And in fact, often, the things about other people we find to be most intolerable are often the aspects of ourselves we find most unacceptable & would most wish to keep buried.

So, from that perspective, exposing ourselves to people who "push our buttons", so to speak, is a good thing. It presents us with opportunities to become more self-aware & to develop compassion both for ourselves as well as others. Now of course, having written that, there's a limit to everything! At least that's my personal perspective. One can only take so much. And I think it's important for us to be "mindful" of how we're doing so that, hopefully, if-&-when we begin to simply reach our limit with regard to a given situation... or person... we have the opportunity to take some type of constructive action to remedy the situation (including just removing ourselves from the premises) before we lose control of our own emotions & perhaps explode with anger ourselves, fall deeper into depression, or whatever. Creating that kind of space in our day-to-day lives is a large part of what Ani Pema teaches. So I think she would agree... (hopefully...)

Anyway, I don't know if any of that answers your question. But it's what occurred to me as I read your post. I wish you well...

[Bill3]

and need to just get as far away from them as possible

How practical is it for you to actually stay away from this person?