I Met a Murderer on a Dating Site with Bipolar

I'm glad you discussed this with your T and listened to your gut instinct.

that's what I'm saying lol

glad you decided it against it.

Never, never, never, never. Glad your wise mind prevailed.

I'm glad you chose this All of us care dearly about your safety and our happy for you.

OMG!! I'd be scared as hell.

Thank God you made a choice in YOUR favor.
I just saw this post this morning and my first thought was OMG..Mental illness..is very scary and can lead us into the wrong relationships so often.

As you know I just got out of a relationship that had some red flags from the start that I chose to ignore. This is such a big red flag for you and this guy. Let him find someone who is in his same caliper..I am going to be judgemental and say you are high above this type of personality....

Not needing this type of person in your life is an understatement. I'm so glad you have come to a conclusion that is safe for you..I don't see how there could ever be full trust, safety with this man..I would always wonder if we had disagreements if he was going to murder me as well....Nope...good choice.

We all murder each other with words that kill the soul.

Glad you decided to avoid danger.

I have a real problem with this idea that being "homicidal" is a health problem that can be controlled with medication. People who commit murder have something profoundly wrong with them. I don't doubt he came from a screwy family where there was probably abuse/neglect. People run away from homes like that everyday. He didn't. Murder was his solution.

So, because he was institutionalized for 15 years, he's probably okay now? People saying he deserves a second chance? He already killed two people.

And this notion of not being judgemental is nuts. I'm not saying judge the destiny of his soul. That is beyond human judgement. But, yeah, if I know a guy killed a couple of people, I am going to judge that this is a person for me to stay away from.

I wonder if this guy you met on line isn't a big liar putting on a fake identity. After a double homicide, he's out loose?

What about the next lunatic who reaches out to you? It seems that you think that being a good hearted person means you should assume the best of others, until they prove that wrong. That seems to be the default setting of a lot of young women's minds. The truth is that, when you don't know someone, you don't know them. The reasonable position would be to assume nothing. Don't go assuming that people are either good or bad. Recognize that you need more information. There are bad people in the world. For all you know, the person standing next to you in a public elevator may be one of them.

If the court found him not guilty by reason of insanity he would go to a psychiatric facility not prison.

This is a complicated issue, I have friends and associates who work inside the prison sector and criminal psychiatric system. Its not all that cut and dry.
You can be found guilty,sent to prison then have it overturned later through appeal.
So there is nothing to say he didn't serve time.
I also know people like This man.

I a voided commenting before because I found the bigotry and duality all most more than I could stomach.
The OP made the right choice for herself, because she isn't in a position to deal with what This could entail, or what it would require from her to be the partner of someone with this type of mental illness.

And that is what I am focusing on here, not his crime, because we only know what's been said and that is he has schizophrenia.

For those of you unfamiliar with this Condition, you do not get split personality. You suffer delusions, psychosis and delusions that can so powerful they destroy your very reality.
You can be convinced that people and places you have known your whole life are not safe and they mean you harm.
Now no-one here knows what happened, but I am not comfortable judging someones personality and intentions based on so little.
No one here would argue the OP made the right choice for herself.
I had hoped that on a forum concerned with mental illness people might have stopped to consider what it would mean to be pushed so far you couldn't come back from the edge.

I wonder if a woman had killed her children in the middle of a post partum psychosis would ppl think the same. It concerns me that most would.

Mental illness is a terrible affliction thankfully most of us don't lose touch with reality in such a way to be a danger to others.
For those that do, the coming round and realisation must be horrific.
Believe it or not but some do spend the rest of their lives trying to attone for what they did.
They work hard to see their workers and attend their classes and take their meds.
This I know from personal experience. Some people can do awful things.
This doesn't make them terrible people.

Anyway all the best to the OP. I know she did what was right for her and that in this instance, is all that matters.

It is not prejudice to consider a person who murdered 2 people to be dangerous. It is common sense.

Being schizophrenic doesn't make a person violent. Being mentally ill doesn't make a person violent. Some schizophrenics are violent, while some aren't. Some blondes are violent, while some aren't. Some people without psych diagnoses are violent, while some aren't. Some Republicans are violent, while some aren't. Some Greeks are violent, while some aren't. Some Norwegians are violent, while some aren't.

This guy has two problems. He's mentally ill and he has demonstrated a capacity for violence. I see them as two separate problems. Maybe he will not be violent again. But the O.P. is not in a position to evaluate that.

To get involved with this guy to see what he might be like now is not very considerate of him. Suppose the O.P. continued a relationship, got to know him better and decided he was not someone she wanted to continue dating. Deciding to withdraw from the relationship might be extremely stressful for this guy. He might be destabilized by someone holding out an offer of a relationship, only to withdraw that offer later. I would not want that responsibility.

Dating is a process of "trying someone out" to see whether or not they suit you. If they don't, you move on. I don't think you do this with someone who has a history of being severely unable to cope. I don't think that's being very responsible. And I think it's stupid.

BTW, I've worked in corrections with mentally ill inmates. I'm very much a proponent of people getting what they need, as human beings, regardless of their crimes. This young man has a right to a warm bed to sleep in. He has a right to nourishing food. He has a right to a support system of counselors, doctors, and peer groups to attend. He has a right to not be left isolated. He has a right, IMO, to know that responsible people are concerned for his welfare. But he has no automatic right to a "girlfriend."