[! !AvId! !]

Hi,
This is a long story but will try and make it short. I am seriously thinking of I dont know what is at my disposal right now but I am sure I made a biggest and stupid mistake of my life, by choosing a wrong girl to marry and start living with.

Am married to a big time control freak and Bully. Its not just her , her entire family is a big time BULLY, esp her dad. I am finding it too difficult to live justifying my every move , breath every second. I get suffocated many times and looks like It has become a necessary Evil. 7 Yrs and surviving.

[eskielover]

I know that marriage is for better or worse BUT.....that doesn't include abuse. I TOLERATED a bad marriage for 33 years. The best thing I ever did for myself was to leave....even after 33 years. The peace I now have in my alone life is wonderful. Just be sure to take care of yourself.

[Sunflower123]

Can you leave the marriage?

[eskielover]

Been thinking on this. You say her family is like this & this is the behavior she grew up immersed in maybe not even knowing what is was she was learning to behave like. Sounds like it was her NORMAL.

That doesn't make it ok or give her an excuse to continue living that way. It does mean that she needs to learn that behavior is NOT ok or acceptable & if she is willing to change you both need to work together on changing it....

If she is willing to hear how hurtful her behavior is & is willing to change it could be as simple as reminding her every time she presents that kind of behavior.

When I first got married my new H pulled this put down sarcasm on me & it really annoyed me especially when I didn't like throwing it back in his face which was how I first started handling it. I had enough self-confidence it didn't hurt me, but it was just horrible putting people down....lol, especially someone like me who was more than his equal....but beside that, I told him that if he didn't stop it I was not going to stay married to him. It took over a year of continually reminding him EVERY TIME he did it but that behavior was finally broken for the most part.

He was willing for me to handle it that way & willing to change.

Otherwise your wife may need therapy to work om changing this behavior depending on your marriage dynamics. If she is unwilling to change then I would definitely think twice about staying in a marriage like that as with more practice she will only end up as bad as her dad.

[Sunflower123]

I hope you'll consider getting out. Life is too short. Best wishes.

[Crazy Hitch]

Okay, so in trying to think about this, I'm putting the issue of her dad aside, for now.

There are plenty of people who have revolting father in laws, but you married her, and unfortunately he's the baggage in the package, so to speak.

So.

What I'm truly interested in, is what she actually bullies you about?

You've called her control freak.

With what particular situations do you feel she controls you in?

Sounds like a crappy marriage, I'm just trying to gauge if these issues could be workable before jumping to drastic conclusions.

[VanGore28]

Here's me thinking men had so much more freedom than women and would simply pack up and walk away when pushed so far. You have a big heart to tolerate being bullied. I felt suffocated by my ex who deep down knew and even said he was "holding me back."
Do you have children together?
Do you want her to change, is it possible?
I hope you consider leaving, and I won't lie it may be a struggle for a long time after being connected to someone so long.
I had gave up everything for a guy. I lost myself. Didn't know who I was anymore.
Are you muslim? I know the dishonour in abandoning family. If not what is stopping you.

[~Christina]

Do you have a sister , female family members , female friends etc ?

If so and they were in you're shoes what would you tell them ?