I'm Not DTF!

Am I meant to live alone? All I want is to be seen and loved for who I am and not just for my body...yet that's the opposite of how I am seen. I am so devastated that at 25 I've yet to have a single serious relationship and nothing even coming close...worse yet, I get thrown the "R" word and after sex they "change their mind". What's wrong with me?

It's not you, it's them. Some men will say and do anything to get you in bed. Then scram. Don't worry, you will find your prince.

There is nothing wrong with you. This is not your fault. I can't say what I want to about these type of people but they are users, the lowest of the low. In time (and this is not said to justify anything) that right person will come across your path and you will know it. Don't let these loser ruin your evening, day, week or life. You are better than this.

If you want to talk feel free to PM me.

I offer you a gentle and a soft embrace

Please be safe...

And be careful of the dating websites. Most men are either lying about something such as their age or on there just to get laid. Some are genuine though.

I don't know how to find a guy IRL to be honest. I am not into hooking up with guys at bars and I doubt I can find a date through my job. However, there is one really cute guy at my work but he seems way out of my league and I wouldn't want to jeopardize either of our careers over a romance.

What about doing something that you like to do...art, book club, yoga,...whatever it may be...it's a good way to meet people with something in common.

I agree. There is nothing wrong with you. Just relax and keep living a fulfilling life. Your prince will show up.

Love comes when you least expect it. In 2004 I signed up for a online dating website for people with mental illnesses. I figured if they could be open and honest about their mental illnesses then they were more likely to be honest about everything else. I found my wife on that site. We have since been together over. 12 years. She posts on Psych Central under the name Terabithia. The sites name is www.nolongerlonely.com When I was on it, it was a free site but that has been many years ago. I'm not sure if it still is. I should say it's worth checking into. Wishing the very best for you.

There is nothing wrong with you. I recommend not to have sex until you actually are in a relationship. Such as you have been dating for several months steadily and they treat you well and you are good friends and you fall in love. Then you have sex. The issue is that many (me in young age included)have sex first then expect to develop a relationship. It has to be the other way around.

Also sometimes when you improve your own life you meet better people. 25 is very young. My nephew is a successful college educated engineer plus he is gorgeous yet he didn't have serious relationship until 25. He is now happily married. There are no rules in life

There is nothing wrong with you LL, but whatever your doing after meeting these guys isn't working.

Look I don't care if someone sleeps with someone on the first date, or waits till they are married. However the chances are if you sleep together early on its just viewed as a bit of fun.

I wrote recently on another post, that I had listened to a guy talk about on line dating and how they viewed it more as a take away menu than the basis for a ltr.
I also asked if you met a complete stranger, would you be inclined to sleep with them 6-24 hrs later. If not, why do this with ppl online.

Texting or emailing teaches us nothing except what they want us to see.
If your dating, and you have only been on 3 dates that's probably 6-12'hrs real time.
I don't count the time spent online.
And this is why...

My current partner and I were gaming buddies for 3 years. If you had asked me I would have said I knew him inside out.
We had never met, but we were pretty tight.

After nearly 3 years he happened to be in town, I asked if he wanted to meet up.
He said yes, but he needed to tell me something first.
He then informed me he had served a 7 year sentence and then explained what for.

There was no way I would have known, or could have guessed.

My biggest piece of advice is just don't put out. If they are still around after 6/7 months there is a better chance for the long term.
If they leave before hand, you know what they were after.

Your a great person LL, don't measure your self worth against those who have none. It's not worth it.