Please help - Relationship issues

Dear all!! I really need your help, since I have a feeling that both my ex-girlfriend and I can make a biggest mistakes of our lives if we don't do the right thing! To try to cut this story as shortest as possible:
We were in a relationship, but since I had gone for a vacation with friends, she started pushing me away and telling me about being depressive.. Mostly due to her financial problems, which are huge. She's supporting her sister and her alcoholic father who lost jobs recently. After several months of her pushing me away and me trying to be there for her when she's depressed, she dumped me for a rich older guy! Now she's dating him, says she's still depressed and that she respects him but she has to be with him due to his money.
I am hurt and in pain.. But, I am not sure should I approach her and tell her not to make such a huge mistake.. Or it is better to just leave her with him? I want her for myself, although, even if she's not with him, we'd have to work on some issues - like honesty, etc.. Sometimes I hate her, sometimes I pity her and want to open her eyes.. But would that be possible, or she'd just push me further away?
Thank you all in advance!!

Would you really want her back, if she's left, and she's with someone else?

You deserve better than to be left over scraps and a second choice!

Sound like she's with this older man for ulterior motives, but that's her issue, not yours.

Hold your head high and move on.

Hello citizenn, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

It looks as if your ex girlfriend has decided to choose money over you. Would you really want to get back together with someone who decided you were worth less than money? I think you should let her do her thing, and move on with your own life.

Y'know... it may be that she is making a big mistake... but I would take a careful look at how you are viewing the situation and maybe you'll find your own answer there. Even though it may seem like a mistake to you, it sounds like she has some really serious issues going on. Saying things like "I want her for myself" and "sometimes I hate her, sometimes I pity her" lead me to think that you may not be in the best position to be a good thing for her right now - which is okay. We all need our own time, space, and experience to grow. I sympathize with your pain and I sincerely wish you healing, but it sounds like she really needs someone solid to be there for her right now and you may want to examine if you're in the right place to be that for her. Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes, and who knows, maybe it's not such a bad situation. Being with someone for money may seem "pathetic", but the reality of it is, it may be the best thing for her during this chapter of her life - it's not really your or our place to speculate. It is especially difficult to see her situation clearly through your break-up goggles. Maybe give her some space to make this decision for herself and cheer her on, let the situation play itself out. Good luck. <3

Dear all, thank you for your replies.. Especially Treevoice, your thoughts are exactly what I have been thinking about and what's stopping me from making a conversation with her. Sometimes I think I should tell her "please find someone to love you and support you, but it can't be me".
I am really confused, because there are two types of writings about depressed persons, possibly borderlines, ACOAs, etc, which she all has traits of - first type of posts is like "run away like hell" and the other type is "they need help, love and support".. I feel sorry for her, she's a good girl, crying out for help, at the best way she knows, which is not a healthy way, but what else could you expect from and ACOA?
I don't want to be in a relationship with her now, I know I couldn't and I know I would treat her very badly. In the future, who knows, but it would include a lot of work, etc... I am just wondering should I tell her what I honestly think, because that's bothering me a lot, and I can't stop thinking about it.

While I think she is probably in a desperate situation financially and sees this man as a means to solve the problem, you said she had been pushing you away for months prior to this. Now she is with another man, no matter the reason.

i think what she needs most right now is a friend and what you need most right now is to be treated better then that.

Must be a really tough situation for the both of you. Personally I don't know if you should go back to her.. there a lot if issues that should be worked on, if that's the case. Ask yourself if you really want to go back with this woman.. personally, it looks to me like she has already made a choice.

It makes sense that you are spinning your wheels about what to say to her, and it's a good sign that you care, but maybe you don't need to say much to be the best help you can be. Honestly, I don't think you need to say anything to her about her situation. Maybe just let her know that even though you guys aren't a good romantic match right now, you still care about her as a person. Let her know you're there if she needs someone to talk to and leave it at that. Sometimes we are better off keeping our judgments of the situation to ourselves, even when we feel strongly that we need to guide them - it's important to make sure we are in the right position to do that, and that may not be the case for you since you recently broke up. I don't think many people will date someone for their money if they don't feel desperate, and you may push her away by expressing concerns. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just hold space for them to do their thing and be available *as a friend* if she needs you. You can always revisit a possible relationship down the road if it makes sense to do so, but sometimes talking about that prematurely can just muddle the situation and/or give false hope.

I'm sorry she has done this to you. Let her go as her priorities are definitely not you! Find someone else who will want you more than anything else in this world. That's what you deserve. I would say you've had a lucky escape!!

Thank you very much. Although I am crying and reading your post, and it will hurt like hell to offer her kind of my friendship, I also believe it would be the best thing to do. I have to think about it further, but it's very, very strong post you have put here for me.. Thank you! It is just sort of unfair to offer friendship, I don't know.. And on the other hand, I know it'd be the most honest and the strongest thing I could do at this moment..