Is it strange to be 'vetted' by your partners family?

The world is an ugly place, some people (myself included) go to strange lengths for piece of mind.

I'm not condoning what they did, I also think they crossed a line, but I think your preoccupation with this is going to do more damage than their actual actions.

Either accept it and let it go, or let go.

You have nailed it on the head there, I do agree that people go to great lengths for piece of mind. It's sad in a way that they feel the need to do such a thing but that is purely for their own reasons.

I'm trying my best to let it go, but the fact my partner said nothing to me about it until yesterday says something about her.

I'll accept it and let it go.

Yeah, it's a minor infraction. Just be prepared and know what you're dealing with. This family has no qualms about doing really nervy things.

When I started seeing my now husband he told me that a policeman friend of his (without his asking or knowing) had run a check on me! I really get where you're coming on feeling the infringement here, I remember feeling insulted that this guy even thought I was worth checking up on (& I'm fairly sure it was illegal to use police records in that way).

In my case it didn't affect my relationship because my then boyfriend did not ask his friend to check me, he had no suspicions about me, plus also he disclosed to me what his friend did which I saw as a positive. If your girlfriend told you about this I would see this as a positive sign, your relationship is with her not her family & friends. By all means be aware of it but I wouldn't let it spoil what you have with this woman - maybe you'll look back and laugh, tbh I do laugh now about this policeman friend (who he no longer even sees these days).

I think this is awful and a sign of things to come.

I was once vetted as a family member of a woman in a new long-term relationship. The entire family was subjected to a private investigation before we were allowed to have further contact with our own family member.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond and give your advice/thoughts on the matter here, I appreciate that.

She has refused to tell me still who it is that made the check on me. I spoke to her today and she says it's because I will never be the same with the person again if I knew who it was.

Unfortunately the world is filled with exceptionally skilled con artists, abusers, criminals etc.
It is so easy now to give yourself a clean slate.
I have kids and I know two of them are not the best when it comes to judging people.
If I could protect them by getting a prospective partner checked out. Your damn right I would do it.
And I wouldn't feel guilty about it either.
Having said that I wouldn't make secret of it. I would let them know up front. Give them a chance to come clean if necessary.

Her family are obviously very concerned for her welfare and I would be more concerned about the fact Tey feel she has such a massive flaw in her ability to judge people than I would be afronted by their checking me out.
This is a family that is likely to feature very heavily in her life. And that she is likely to complain every upset too.
This can make for some exceptionally uncomfortable dynamics.

Can I ask is she independently wealthy or in anyway tied to her family financially. ?

I can understand where she is coming from - I certainly never forgot his friend had checked up on me. Think the best you can do is accept what happened, doesn't mean you have to like it. I still think it's a good sign she told you.