[UCLAFan]

Why do i always come across folks who brag or get jealous of me?I hate one upper's and jealous folks.Both are bad.I wish they'd just leave me the heck alone.How do i get those 2 type of folks to leave me alone for good?

[SeptemberMorn]

People usually brag because they are insecure, maybe they feel put down or "less than." Some may even have vivid immaginations.

The best way to keep these people away from you or from bragging is to not talk to them. I have an "out-law" in my extended family like that. I just stay away from him.

[UCLAFan]

I try my best to stay away from this person.But this person gets in my face and is loud.

[Perna]

Agree with them. That will take the wind out of their sails and they'll go away.

"Yup, you sure are something, aren't you?" "Yup, you sure have something there, don't you?" And smile jovially :-)

[SeptemberMorn]

haha! You might even ask them how they can stand to live with themselves since they are so great!

[UCLAFan]

lol good one september morn.

[Fuzzybear]

[Mouse_]

Jealousy is a compliment. If someone feels the need to brag to you or feel jealous of you, then maybe its because they envy you? Make them feel comfortable with you and not threatened by you and gradually the need to brag disappears, its a protection tool not a weapon.

bragging can be about approval seeking. maybe this person really needs / wants you (and / or everyone) to appreciate and value their achievements. often it results because the person didn't get enough of that as a kid. that being said it can feel pretty emotionally draining to empathise with someone elses pride - especially if they don't really reciprocate and help build us up.

[1oxbowgirl]

Some people love being hateful, sometimes for the attention and other times out of spite. I had a mean sister-in-law that gave me grief all the time to the point she made me cry or get very depressed. She would twist my words and get the whole family mad at me for something I never said. Then I learned to play the game and took all her power away. The game means when she said something hurtful I laughed at her. When she got really nasty instead of fighting with her I would laugh at what she said and then turn and walk away. I avoided her as much as possible and found that when we had to be together she would now be nice. This takes a lot of inner strength cause the stuff they say still hurts but don't let them have the power of knowing that it does. Also don't hold in all that pain and anger. Write it in a journal, talk to a good friend, or your doc. Cause all that held in can make depression worse or cause it. Good luck to you.

i guess i think... why do people need the attention? or why would people feel spiteful? i figure it is probably that they feel spiteful because anger is a fairly typical response to ones needs being frustrated. and that they need the attention because people do need attention and if we don't receive the attention we need when we are little we often have that need still fairly much unmet later in life.

that way... i can feel a bit of sympathy for the person instead of retaliating. often people don't see that they are misinterpreting or being uncharitable because all they are really aware of it their pain. they don't appreciate the things they do that are causing pain in others.

its a sad situation. it can be hard to be around people who are demanding of attention. it can be emotionally draining. i find that the people who i find hardest to cope with... are typically people who reflect aspects of myself that i do not like.

but yeah. sometimes walking away is the best thing to do. for ones sanity.

[UCLAFan]

I think she do's it to be mean or is just that desperate for attention. I did not get much attention growing up.But i'm not mean,rude and hateful to folks like this women is.