Cant cope with a broken heart

So, for the last 2 and a half years I have been in a complicated relationship. I fell in love with a coworker. The dilemma has been she was, has been and is engaged to someone else. I've been the other man in her life. Throughout these years, she has led me to believe that she was going to leave him, "soon, I just don't know how to do it" has always been her response. He is dependent on her in almost all ways and neglects and mistreats her. He is someone that will not pay bills, makes her pay them. Doesn't know how to nor will learn to drive and makes her take him anywhere he wants to go. I could go on and on about the flaws in the relationship she has with him. Though I don't get to see her as much as I would like, I am totally head over heels in love with her. I like to treat her well and take her on dates. I like to just relax and talk and laugh with her. I feel that she understands everything like no one else ever could. Recently, out of nowhere she claimed we were done. That she doesn't love me anymore. It was out of character for her, only days before we talked about the amazing life we could have together, that she almost packed her stuff and moved in with me. I was totally lost. I felt like I lost part of myself, I hated part of myself for pushing her away. Fast forward a few weeks, we were texting. She told me that she had to be open with me. She told me that they finally set a wedding date, that is why we couldn't be together any longer. I asked if that was what she wanted, she told me that it was the choice she made. Upon asking more questions, she eventually told me that she still does love me, that if it weren't for him, she would Mary me. To just that she feels guilty for cheating on him, she doesn't think he can survive alone, that she doesn't really want to be with him, but feels like she has to. Never have I felt so devastated. The one girl that I love with all my heart is marrying someone that she feels like she has to. It kills me inside knowing how awful he treats her and neglects her. I don't know how to cope with this pain, these feelings of inadequacy. For some reason, i feel like it's my fault. Everyday that the wedding grows closer, I feel the anxious feeling. I want to cry, want to scream. I want to beg her to call it off and leave him for me. Above all else, I'm scared, terrified. If she goes through with the wedding I don't know what to do or how to cope with that. I will truly feel that my life has lost all hope and purpose.

I know that I should probably just try to leg go and let her live her life and live my own and find someone else. The thought of trying to find someone else breaks my heart though. I don't want anyone else. Nor would anyone else want me or accept me. I am someone that has always felt like an outcast. I don't feel like I understand social cues and hate the games that I feel like people play when interacting. I've always been morbidly obese and have always had low self worth and esteem. I never knew that I could feel so numb, so hollow and hopeless.

Hello. Welcome to PC. I'm sorry you're in so much pain. If she's made her decision, you need to respect that. You will grieve...it's a big loss for you but you'll find one day you are feeling a little bit better. I sympathize. Sending big hugs.

I think you are much better off. Woman who cheats on her fiancée for 2 and a half years (she never had intentions to leave him. It doesn't take that long) has low moral standards. She clearly enjoyed your attention And sense of control over you. She'd cheat on you too. Abd nobody marries others because they have to. She doesn't have to marry him. She also didn't have to play games with you. Pretty much she isn't a good person. Heal, grieve and move on. Hugs

I'm very sorry for your pain and the loss. I know it feels devastating now, but believe me, over time, it will get easier and better for you. It will take time though, and you will grieve and mourn the loss. But that doesn't mean that all hope is lost for you. She is not the only one in the world for you - I know it may feel that way now, and I understand the feeling as I am going through a similar loss with my ex fiance, but there are others out there who will understand you, too.

And a word of caution here, too. Getting involved with someone who is already in a committed relationship is never a good idea and typically ends in pain and suffering, as you are experiencing. As someone else said, she has cheated on her fiance and therefore, cannot be fully trusted. I also agree that she does not have to marry him. She is choosing to marry him, and that's her choice, which will most likely, will not be a happy marriage for her. If I were her, I would walk away. This is not a match made in heaven.

So learn a lesson from the pain... this is an opportunity to grow from the experience. Next time, make sure the person is single and available. Lessons the chances for hurt later down the road. (((((((sending big hugs)))))))))