[Artchic528]

So, I have a dilemma. I really like this guy I've been talking to who lives in Hungary. We've been friends for a few years, off and on, but then he came out and admitted he's had a thing for me for a while and I feel the same way. So we're seeing how it'll turn out.

However, about a week or so ago, when I really wasn't feeling it with him, I started I sort of started talking to this guy on Match.com. He sent me a message and I replied, and well it's not anywhere yet, I just am sort of..."meh" about it for now. I have yet to respond to his last two messages. One of which was just now.

However, something happened, a switch sort of turned on and now I really started feeling a lot of feelings toward the Hungarian guy. We've been through so much together, he and I, and it really does brighten my day when we talk to each other. I can sort of see us meeting IRL some day and really hitting it off.

I hate being in this sort of situation, mostly because I hate saying "no" to a potential guy, and hate hurting feelings. What should I do?

Since you are not yet committed to the Hungarian, you are long distance "feeling it out" and haven't met in person yet, my suggestion is to keep your options open if there is an interest in exploring others. People do this all the time - multi-date. There is no rule that you must commit when you haven't even met the person yet, and I wouldn't suggest doing so either. Something caused you to get on Match.com. Perhaps think about why you wanted to do that. It seemed you wanted to be open to others and you weren't feeling it for the Hungarian. Perhaps you have some mixed feelings?

I would suggest meeting the Hungarian in person first, see what he is like in person and how the chemistry is, then decide. Even then, you don't have to commit. Long distance relationships are tricky, but can work.. but you don't have to commit after just one meeting.

Also, don't worry about the Match.com guy's feelings. Online dating is full of rejection, and that's just the nature of it. People who online date expect rejection, and they simply move onto the next.. there's plenty more in the sea for him, so don't worry about him. ((((Hugs)))))

[divine1966]

Since you haven't met either of the guys I wioldnt worry about hurting their feelings. I'd do what's best for me, which is keep options open until you know someone really well and can commit. I certainly wouldn't commit to strangers I haven't met

[Sunflower123]

I agree with the above. Best wishes.

[~Christina]

Great advice given . Dont put all your eggs in one basket.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Since you haven't met either of the guys I wioldnt worry about hurting their feelings. I'd do what's best for me, which is keep options open until you know someone really well and can commit. I certainly wouldn't commit to strangers I haven't met

Yeah, the Hungarian guy and I haven't met yet, but we're not total strangers. There's definitely some familiarity there. Well, as much as one can get from strictly online interactions.

[eskielover]

No need for a dilemma at this point.