[JaneB1]

Hi everyone!

So i recently posted about my boyfriend being demanding about wanting sex and how he thinks its my fault that we wasn't having it as much.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt & to show him i am willing to put the effort in i made love coupons for him, so he couldn't say it was me who was turning him away. He doesn't use them but still says im the reason we are not having sex. Yes i don't just go for it anymore but i personally feel like he doesn't want to have sex with me with the way he is treating me and its hard to get into the mood.

He causes arguments over nothing and i am forever defending myself and then sitting him down and explaining the way he is making me feel but its like it goes in one ear and out the other.

If i don't feel like swimming when he wants to go, he calls me boring.
If i don't want to go to the gym at the same time as him, he says for me not to complain if i gain weight.
He asks me where i would like to eat at night, then tuts at what i pick and makes negative comments on everything i suggest.
He says he wants to spend time with me but then picks stuff to do that he knows i don't particularly like to do.
I think he is doing this on purpose because he knows i will say no and then he has a reason to blame any problems on me. I go with him most of the time to keep him happy but when i don't he is so rude.

It may well be my fault as well but i try to sit and tell him how hes making me feel and i ask him how he feels about me, he just goes into a self pity sink hole and tells me to go find someone better because he treats me so bad. I explain that i love him and i just want him to think about what he says before he says in and think about how it may upset me.
I just want him to understand how i am hearing things and how he is making me feel, but he always manages to swing it back around to being my fault.

Please please give me some advice, im not ready to give up, but i have to find a way to make my boyfriend see my efforts.

Thanks in advance.

[MickeyCheeky]

Leave him.
He's not treating you well.. you have a right to decide what you want to do. If you don't want to have sex with him, you don't have to (and it's perfectly reasonable, considering the way he treats you). It also seems like he's guilt-tripping you.. please, realize this is deceiving. You don't deserve to go through this, and he definitely doesn't deserve you

[Molinit]

You can't make him do anything. What is he good for really? I don't see much from your post.

[Sunflower123]

I agree you should leave him. What are your reasons for staying? He is acting in a very selfish manner and it’s all about him. It sounds like you’ve really tried...he’s not receptive to treating you with concern or courtesy.

[Shazerac]

This guy sounds really self centered, very controlling, maybe even a narcissist. Especially the part where he makes it all about him and climbs in his pity pot. Oh please...gimme a break.

There is no way you are going to change him or "make" him see your point of view. You have gone way above and beyond the call of duty here.

It may be time to stand back and do some soul searching. Ask yourself, what is about me that I feel like I need to stay in a relationship where I am being abused and belittled by a man? Don't I deserve better? If I don't think I deserve better ....why is that?

I agree with the above posters... he is not treating you well, and it's all about him when you try to talk to him about how he makes you feel. You've been trying and seem to be getting nowhere with him. I also don't like his responses to you that you've listed. He is not being nice to you, he puts you down, and you deserve much better. (((hugs))))

[kipper-bang]

I agree with all the above poster - don't waste another minute on him. Turn away and don't look back.

Good Luck

[~Christina]

He’s a d*ick

What redeeming qualities does he have now ?

[hvert]

I don't think you can make him see things the way you do. He needs to come to that on his own.

You *can* start to practice setting better boundaries for yourself. Figure out how to not get bothered when he pouts when you don't want to do what he wants. Start doing what *you* truly want to do and don't let his nastiness interfere with your happiness. He may even start behaving better when he sees that his nonsense isn't having the desired effect.

[Englishandproud1986]

Sorry, it probably isn't the answer you are looking for, but I agree with the above comments. I sounds like he is trying to control and manipulate you. No answer you give him, will be the right one to the questions he is asking you. He is breaking you down and killing your spirit in the process. You deserve better.