[frustlandlady]

I wonder if anyone ever had the same experience that I had with 2 of my friends, who I saw after that they were not much of "friends" anyway...
So here is the case, two friends, I met them in a period when I was young and somekind of vulnerable and I needed support from people, I appreciated them and liked them as persons and I was not there only for their support. We also had good times together. But when my maturity grew and I was not in need of support anymore, they cut off of me. I still wanted to have them as friends, I did not cut them off, I tried to keep in touch with them, but they kind of disappeared. One of them stopped even answering to my messages, like I was not existing anymore and the other one was constantly saying "I would like to keep in touch with you, I haven't seen you for so long, what a pity" but never took a step for that. It is like they wanted a weak person to patronalize and when that person did not have that need they went away... It hurted me so much... they were my best friends...

I think this has also something to do with the situation, both of them had tha habit to interfere with men that I used to like... suddently they wanted to be "best friends" with those guys and be all the time together...

I don't know about the men you liked, but I'll respond to your main point.
Friendships are held better the more minimal the change between its members overtime.
The baseline of the friendship started with you needing support. When that baseline is removed, then whatever was built upon it falls.

[frustlandlady]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

I don't know about the men you liked, but I'll respond to your main point.
Friendships are held better the more minimal the change between its members overtime.
The baseline of the friendship started with you needing support. When that baseline is removed, then whatever was built upon it falls.

Support was one part of our relationship and the most of the support was that they simply were in my life. They were not doing anything else. Apart from that we had a typical friendship. I must note that their close friends now are also weak people... does this happen by luck? I don't think so...

I don't think friendship is something like that... We were supposed to have emotions for each other. What happened to these emotions. They disappeared just because I was not in need of support anymore? Friends are suppose to help each other mature and grow and be happy when that happens. They seemed not to like my stronger self...

Growth is personal. Like flowers in a field, they eventually grow in different progress and direction. I assume each has his own goals?