Brief, light touch on shoulder/upper arm in parting

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to keep myself from forming an attachment, I must keep questioning why the lady gave me a brief, light touch on the upper arm as we parted.


this had been bothering me the whole day. there was a second bad thing that made me really anxious, so I planned out my day tomorrow and how I'm going to get all my tasks done. That helped, but...

I planned everything until 9 pm tomorrow (today) when I realized why she patted me. I think she did it because of perceptiveness of my feelings, which I thought I hid well, and kindness. I cannot stop thinking, and have now figured it out, and now I'm doomed.

I wondered if she would give me a hug. she wears soft sweaters in dark jewel tones. and suddenly I got an intense desire to be hugged by a mother figure.

The lady who patted me... I can't think of touching another person without a lot of planning and effort going into it. it would be for manipulation.

but for her I think it was natural to touch someone. I can imagine her giving this same touch for many purposes, if she was happy, or wanted to say hello or get someone's attention.

this is the part where I say something like I didn't get any hugs as a child. and maybe it should have been natural to get hugs.

...


anyway, I'm already off my schedule that I planned for myself. sometimes I function better when I'm really low because being hopeless helps get rid of the anxiety. So just pretending to be hopeless. and not thinking about hugs or anything. I think I'm feeling bad enough atm that I'm not going to get a weird attachment. so it's all fine. just wanted to express this.

Arm touches can be a very safe way of letting someone know you care about them, hugs can be a little too much sometimes, it sounds like she wanted to let you safely know she cares.

I think so, too. It's a neutral, nice gesture and you shouldn't read any more into it.

Therapists aren't the right people to give hugs, as it can trigger that longing feeling you mentioned.

With her help, you will be able to find more friends and acquaintances, and they are the right people to practice hugging with.

Take care.

I agree it seems like a nice gesture.

When my T and were having a deal about should i go IP or not , He would put a hand on my arm and say yes please go...