how can I be nice about it

how can I be nice about the fact that I want to stop talking to tara?, and stop being friends with her

it was a good idea when we started talking- she seemed nice and she seemed like a caring person

but now I find out that

A she only uses me when she wants help with something, and even when I offer to help her she turns me down and tells me she'll wait for her boyfriend who hardly even talks to her

B she lied about her mental illness which both her and her friends have told me, and tara herself said she used it to get attention

and C, she's rarely interested in what I do- it's all I did this, I did that, etc. I try to use her for support, but she's rarely interested.

the problem for me, the biggist problem, is that she's always calling me best friend forever, awesome friend etc

she even plans what she wants to do with me ahead of time.

I don't exactly want to be horrible to her, but I do want to stop being friends with her and let her know gently that she's just using me for when ever she needs to talk or for when ever she needs help

what would you do

I would say gradually fade out but since you want her to know the relationship has become more take than give and take, I would suggest inviting her out or over and diplomatically telling her what you’ve said here. Who knows? Maybe she’ll realize what she’s doing and apologize and vow to change. Good luck.

Sometimes there is no way to that and be "nice." No matter how you tell her she may not take it well. I have to disagree to the inviting her to your place to tell her this. A more neutral location is my vote. If you tell her your feelings at your place then you risk being stuck at your place with a person who is mad at you. Then you'll have to add to your not niceness by telling her to leave.

You can either try to spend less time with her gradually, or be honest and tell her, politely, that you don't want to be friend with her anymore. The first might not work but it doesn't have too many negative consequences. The second option will probably work but she might get upset.

It is up to you to decide, you know her better than we do. Good luck

I think I'm probably going to take your advice after all.

I mean, it can't be to bad, right?

part of me doesn't care in the slightest how she's gonna feel after i've told her, because I won't be friends with her anymore.

i'll keep you updated on what happens

spoke to her tuesday.

sadly things didn't go to plan.

well, they did kind of, I mean I told her everything I thought, and all she said to me afterwards constantly was.. but you're my best friend, right? (about 50 times)

I didn't have the heart to tell her well actually tara, I dread talking to you, so I just ended the conversation

I'd tell her what you don't like and what you're looking for in a friend. Stand up to your needs if questioned or disagreed with. You may reach to a more mutual agreement or disagreement, which can help on making a more mutual decision on whatever to do about your relationship.

Hmm... since you've already told her your thoughts, perhaps now you can just stop responding to her.

Growth is growth, I just make sure folks aren't too hurt about then if so tell them to seek therapy. We are required to remind folks of what happens in relationships do that gently. When in doubt accuse them of being a way that is unreasonable. Never feel too guilty for being yourself!