[palsera27]

im feeling bad about my presumably straight woman crush. No one seems to understand me. Nothing working any more. She may about my feelings and has been avoiding me. Back in July someone sent her my journal entries. I admitted to being attracted to her. She's an older woman (60) so she may not be open to it.

I find myself wanting to have a relationship with her. I'm depressed over this unrequited love. I'm embarrassed over her and afraid I will cry if she asks me about it. I don't want to bring it up with her. I don't want out myself if I'm wrong about het finding out. However I just have intuition that she knows.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Sorry to hear you're suffering. Is the woman single?

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Sorry to hear you're suffering. Is the woman single?

Yes she is single. Thinking about befriending her first. That way it won't be so awkward.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I don't see what the problem is?

It seems like you really want to tell her. That's probably why you wrote it in your journal. Is she a medic of some kind and that's what's stopping you?

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I don't see what the problem is?

It seems like you really want to tell her. That's probably why you wrote it in your journal. Is she a medic of some kind and that's what's stopping you?

No she's not a medic she's a finance manager at an auto dealership. I don't how to describe it but she was the woman who made me consider a relationship with a woman.

What's stopping I'm not sure if she's affirming. Her fb profile set to interested in men, but I have been told that's not a reliable way to find out someone's preference. Also she just an acquaintance I don't know her enough to confirm her preference.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

It depends. It's all quite fluid, for a lot of people. Only one way to find out!

No, seriously, do befriend her first.

Unless she does know what you wrote in your journal. Then trying to befriend her might seem creepy.

I'm trying to put myself in her position. Like most women, I've had stalkers/unwanted attention (male). It's left me with a fondness for people who are upfront about what they want (and will clearly take no for an answer). It's SO much better than following you around etc.

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

It depends. It's all quite fluid, for a lot of people. Only one way to find out!

No, seriously, do befriend her first.

Unless she does know what you wrote in your journal. Then trying to befriend her might seem creepy.

I'm trying to put myself in her position. Like most women, I've had stalkers/unwanted attention (male). It's left me with a fondness for people who are upfront about what they want (and will clearly take no for an answer). It's SO much better than following you around etc.

Do I let her ask me about liking her or do I tell her? If so how do tell her

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

It depends. It's all quite fluid, for a lot of people. Only one way to find out!

No, seriously, do befriend her first.

Unless she does know what you wrote in your journal. Then trying to befriend her might seem creepy.

I'm trying to put myself in her position. Like most women, I've had stalkers/unwanted attention (male). It's left me with a fondness for people who are upfront about what they want (and will clearly take no for an answer). It's SO much better than following you around etc.

Also when I first met her she stood close to me in my personal space. Normally this doesn't bother me but with her it did. When I was alone with her she tried to get me laugh but I was too uptight. Also she's super friendly when she talks me

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I'd tell her.

Firstly, when you really like someone, the urge to tell them is almost irresistible. You won't be able to move on until you have. That's my experience, anyway.

Secondly, I think it will make her respect you.

Don't make a big declaration of love, or anything. Just say you have s crush on her. And sort of make light of it, if you can. That's sort of cute and innocent.

I think most people would be flattered.

Asking if she wants to go for a coffee is the classic way of starting.

[Sunflower123]

If that’s too big a step for you, befriend her first. You can build up to telling her about your crush or she’ll verify in some other way how she feels. How did she get your journal entries? Something tells me she may already know about your crush. Good luck. Sending big hugs.

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree, try to befriend her, it might be helpful if you're shy. You'll never know until you try.

[palsera27]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

If that’s too big a step for you, befriend her first. You can build up to telling her about your crush or she’ll verify in some other way how she feels. How did she get your journal entries? Something tells me she may already know about your crush. Good luck. Sending big hugs.

Yes I agree l. I think she already knows. As far as her getting my journal entries. Despite me having double Authentication my iCloud got hacked. In the entry I admitted to being attracted to her. My journal entries got sent to everyone in my contacts which includes her and her coworkers.

Another way she could have found out was someone told. I disclosed in a church support group that I had crush on a woman. I didn't give anything specific just admitted I liked her. The support group was helping me and I enjoyed.

Another is that she knew I liked her before I did. Every once in awhile I will meet someone that knows I like women no matter how well I hide it.

Why do want to befriend her to see how affirming she is. If i get to know her and find out she is not affirming I will never tell her. I'm not trying to get with her anything. I just want a friend. Someone to talk.

Having a crush on this woman is not something I'm proud of. Liking women is not something i share with just anyone and that includes my crush. I'm very closeted.

[Shazerac]

Maybe I'm totally off base here. But I think if you befriend her that you need to be up front about being interested in her in a romantic way. There is no reason to be ashamed of preferring women. That's how you are wired. I think you are judging yourself harshly.