length of breakup mourning

How long does it take to get over a love relationship? How many years after?

I dated someone for 2 yrs and I still think about him 8yrs later. Weird, huh?

I don’t think there’s a time table. I’m going through a similar situation. I’m picking myself up off the floor every single day. But some things are starting to work out for me. I have given myself permission to miss him. I realized I had been hurting so bad because I was trying (and failing) to control my feelings so when I gave myself permission, things did get easier. It will for you too.

You're right. There is no length. Years ago when I was 18, I was introduced to a young man we'll just call Joe. Joe was 19. We hit it off right away, and our friends (my girlfriend, his brother who introduced us) were beyond happy. He was my first love which included my first sexual experience too.
One day as I prepared to leave his place he shared with his aunt, he said, while he was in the shower that I need to hurry and get ready before his aunt got back. Being stupid I made a stupid remark to the effect that there's nothing she can do anyway, etc. He proceeded to come out the shower and bang...slap me across my face.
I was stunned to put it lightly, and immediately saw my mother when she was being abused. I sat down, waited until he was dressed, then put on my coat. He immediately said "let me help you with your coat." But I didn't want him too for by that time the stunning wore off, I felt pure anger.
As I approached the staircase I turned around and said "Joe, we're through." And I left. Oh yes, he kept calling, for hours, but I wouldn't talk to him convinced I had done the right thing.
Well, here I am, 52 years later feeling that I did not indeed make the right decision. Yes, I am saying that though he was wrong so was I in disrespecting his Aunt. Yes I am saying that all those years before I/we should have talked about it, mostly me since I was the one who said goodbye. I should told him how that slap affected me, not only physically but mainly emotionally and mentally. All of that should have been done before I left his place, or at least on the phone since his Aunt was dued home soon.
But I've never forgotten him. Oh I've met others, had my children but there was always that nagging feeling that I've missed out on something wonderful.
Well one day, last week (?) I couldn't take it any longer and so found him on Facebook. Of course he's older now, graying, etc, but I recognized him, and all the wonderful memories (minus the slap) came flooding back, and of course the tears seemed like they had a life of their own. I even felt some jealousy because he has grown children now which meant he gave his love to someone else.
Yes, I still care about him, still love him. I don't know what to do. I wrote him a letter (found the address on one of those search engines), yet I honestly doubt if he'll read them once he sees it's from me. You see, when I turned 19, and had my party I asked his brother about him. His brother said "you killed my brother" meaning of course that I hurt Joe sooooo much. I was devasted yet couldn't go anywhere since it was my party. Anyway, since y'all see I can go on and on just let me end this and say...
NO. There is no time table for breakup mourning. I know.

No not weird at all. I was in love with my high school sweetheart for about eight years after breaking up. While we were living in completely different continents with no communication, I still thought of him quite often.
It does not have a timetable. And it has a lot to do with the timing of the break up and other aspects of your life. Career, work, friendships, family, etc. you get my point.
On a funny note, a character from one of my favorite tv shows said that it takes about 10,000 drinks so... you always have that option.

10,000 drinks? I wonder how long that would take? lol

Few life times?

That’s not weird at all. I think it also depends on whether there was adequate closure.

I couldn’t agree more. Hugs

I'm in the process of trying to communicate with Joe. He has a Facebook account, yet the last he posted a picture was in 2014. But of course since I'm not his Facebook friend, I'm unable to get inside his page. I'm of the mind that he's still upset over me leaving him those years ago,and thinking that way I got angry, yet after a girlfriend told me off last night ("you don't know what's going on with him, etc, etc") and knowing she's absolutely correct, I'm trying to be just a bit more calmer.
Yet I'm finding it interesting that I'm Facebook friends with at least two of his female relatives, and they don't know me from jack, and almost certain each of them saw my words about Joe used to be my boyfriend back in the day, yada yada.
Now in case some of you may wonder why I'm doing this, it's simply simple: I want to. Perhaps we can be friends if nothing else, though I will admit I wouldn't mind more.
But if it's a grudge he's holding onto (translation: pain) I understand. Men seem to hold onto stuff for a very LONG time!

I have always had very mixed feelings for him. I haven't seen him for several years. We didn't have good closure.

I remember many moons ago some tale about giving oneself about half the time of the relationship to have moved on. I do understand and can relate to how years later having some memories or old wounds come to light. In all actuality I had an internal memory moment today where I had received a compliment from a family member about some quality of mine and I literally flashed back to something my distant exbf had insulted me(my educator/educational university) about under the same umbrella/category. So something from 8 years ago doesn't seem too unusual.

Thanks. I don't have many intimate relationships and he really messed up.

I think that's probably what's going on with me too concerning Joe...lack of closure. Plus, he's up in years now as well as myself, with its accompanying illnesses.
I logged onto those search sites, found him with a couple of addresses, it made me wonder why he was moving around so much. Im sure he has children just as I do, as a matter of fact one, a son, looks so much like him it made my heart criver and literally took my breath away. Looking at his son took me back, way back to the time when we were young, and inexperienced in life.
My therapist seems to feel it's just first love stuff, and though Joe was indeed my very first love, I know that it's more than that. What, as in putting a name to it, I don't know. Yet I'm absolutely certain it isn't the blushing I-remember-when sort of thing. I NEED to see him, or at least find out how he's doing and, of course, the closure. I won't rest until something gives one way or another.