[Chase12345]

Never done this before and can’t believe I’m resorting to the internet for this. My girlfriend of just one year ( I know I’m dramatic) we lived together she was my best friend literally everything to me. It all started about four days ago.. She was going to work for her uncle and put wristbands on people. She started drinking with a old friend who they just became friends again. That friend made fun of her all over social media made all her friends not like her. I’m one to forgive super easily, so when they started talking again I was fine with it. She told me she was coming home that night and then said she was going to that girls house and her phone was going to die. She ended up not coming home till 4 am she went out to the bar and lied to me. She came home at four am and said she was drunk and wanted to go to bed. I was like no you can’t just do that and expect nothing to be said. She starts shoving me I start shoving her. And she goes to shove me again and I kicked her in the thigh. Stupidest mistake of my life... she then is crying and I take her phone and I start to go through it and I find nothing and I’m being a jerk because my feelings are hurt. I had her phone behind my back and just said I wasn’t giving it back to her she keeps trying to get it and I just keep turning my back. She hits me in the face. And I just look at her. I’m just in shock. The next day I forgive her and I thought everything was fine I go to work and get no response all day. Get home she’s gone and my stuff is all packed. So this is Sunday..... Monday I go to work and everything and she says she wants all my stuff out. She texts me
Then Tuesday I went to bdubs with my friends and his sister and she texts me asking me if I’m with a girl I said yes, but it’s Ryan’s sister she’s like omg you’re pry trying to get with her. I was like dude I’d never do that one we just broke up and two that’s his sister. She then started to say how she needed new sheets and a new bed and all this stuff because she was so depressed. Go back a little bit Monday a friend told me to confront the situation and tell her how I feel and I did and she said it’s just not healthy anymore and that she doesn’t want anyone else and she still loves me. I lost it I can’t breathe I’m 19 years old played 3 sports in high school and I went in the bathroom cried and had a panic attack and couldn’t breathe. So after that I talked to some family and friends rent was due and she said she needed the money. This was during the day before we went to bdubs she told me if I didn’t give her 100 dollars the key to the place she was going to the cops. So then that night she was texting me talking about how upset she was and I was like when I get home can we talk. And she was like no it’ll just make things harder. And I was like okay and went to bed the next day I went to go pick up some more stuff from our place and she was at breakfast with a friend I asked to talk again she said the same thing. She let me shower there and I took out the air conditioners for her. She was texting me asking if I turned the internet off and all that. I didn’t respond and then she was like hello??? A couple times. I told her I did. She was like how can you be mad at me for ending this it wasn’t good for either of us. I waited for a text last night saying she was upset etc and she never did I drove to work this morning and I drive past our house and she wasn’t there. She is my best friend and yes we have had our problems every relationship does but I truly believe we’re met for each other. This isn’t my first real relationship I have dated a few people before this and of course when we split it sucked. I moved back home from college for this girl and agreed to get our own place and start our lives together. I feel like we may get back together and I know it sounds like a bad relationship but all the good things I can’t fit onto here. I just don’t get how she’s ready to give up so easy it was out of nowhere. Do you guys think she’ll come back? Should I keep ignoring her when she does? I had a pretty rough childhood and I’m not good st dealing with this I love really really hard. With that it makes my lows very low and my highs very high but I’m to the point where if I don’t have her I feel like it will never get better.... Idk why I even typed all this out but yeah. My friends don’t really get how upset I am I can’t eat or sleep I wake up in the middle of the night every single night. I’m lost and the thoughts I’ve been having I’ve never had before...

I saw your post has no replies and i was like "okay i´m gonna try my best to give this person advice!" I read the whole thing but you´re not gonna like my advice

Just let it be, move on, your relationship was violent, etc etc
Which is hypocritical advice coming from me, since i´m kind of in a similar situation and i definitely don´t want to move on.
I was in a pretty dramatic/bad relationship with someone, it got too much for him and he broke up with me. I still want and hope for him back. I don´t know, it sounds like you both have issues. Not to give false hope or anything, but maybe if you two individually spend some time apart, maybe going to therapy, i dunno, you could have a healthy relationship. Sorry for my bad advice.

[WoundedGirl]

Originally Posted by Fluffyraincloud

I saw your post has no replies and i was like "okay i´m gonna try my best to give this person advice!" I read the whole thing but you´re not gonna like my advice

Just let it be, move on, your relationship was violent, etc etc
Which is hypocritical advice coming from me, since i´m kind of in a similar situation and i definitely don´t want to move on.
I was in a pretty dramatic/bad relationship with someone, it got too much for him and he broke up with me. I still want and hope for him back. I don´t know, it sounds like you both have issues. Not to give false hope or anything, but maybe if you two individually spend some time apart, maybe going to therapy, i dunno, you could have a healthy relationship. Sorry for my bad advice.

I don’t think that’s bad advice at all. I think you said it perfectly. Sometimes things can just get so complicated with your significant other so quickly. Then when you both take a step away and get help individually then you have a fighting chance.

Good luck to you chase1234

[graystreet]

Welcome to PC, Chase.

So yeah, you probably won't like my advice either. Point blank, it's time to move on. I don't doubt that there are things in your relationship which make both of you feel good, and that emotionally, there are some needs being met. But overall, when fighting with someone comes to blows, that is not a healthy relationship. And (I hate to say this, because I hated when people said this to me), you're pretty damn young to put it all on one person right now. There is soooooo much out there. Trust me.

I dated my best friend when I was in my early 20's. Like, omg, he and I were totally meant for each other. No way that we weren't. Six months into the relationship, we're fighting more than we aren't, and we were miserable more than we were happy. However, we clung to that relationship for another year because we thought it was meant to be, even to the point where he bought a ring for me. We fought constantly--none of our friends wanted to be around us. When I was at work, we were fighting through email or on my work phone. We fought so badly sometimes that we'd hit each other. I broke his phone, he broke mine. I gained 60 lbs from the stress. I was already struggling with depression, but was diagnosed with bipolar disorder during that relationship (not his fault; it was just timing). But still, we hung on, because both of us had screwed up childhoods, we had been best friends, and we were each other's first serious adult relationship. When I finally broke it off, and someone set him up with his current wife two weeks later, I was so devastated I ended up in the hospital.

Point is...it's not healthy.

PS I hear he has two kids and a normal, kind of mundane life. He's not a bad guy, and is successful, but I am so glad, now, that I didn't choose to stay with him.

[~Christina]

When a relationship hits the point where physical harm enters its time to get the hell out, no one should hurt a partner , ever

[sky457]

Hey Chase, things definitely seem to be a little mixed up right now. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship where my partner tried to suffocate my life. The last time I saw her she was angry at me and mentioned, "I want to hit you right now." She wound up in treatment the next day. Granted, she was not in full control of her emotions, but it still was not good. That threat lingers with me to this day. Though she never hit me or got physical with me, those words remained with me.

I think it is best to slow down and re-asses. She was intoxicated and took her anger out on you. It seems like it triggered you as well. Christina is right about physical harm; it changes everything. I think fluffy may also be right about spending time apart, maybe going to therapy, maybe talking at a distance and processing those crazy events.

The main thing is to slow down and clear your head. Do things you like, speak to trusted individuals, go see a therapist, talk on these boards. Find outlets to help yourself.

[Bill3]

I have three suggestions.

1. Don’t try to discuss things with someone who is drunk.

2. Don’t assume that getting back together will change anything.

3. If you want things to change, then change yourself. Go to anger management class. If she will listen, tell her what you are now doing to improve yourself. Only tell her when you have started to do them. Then keep doing them.

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC.

Everyone else has said their piece so I don't really want to repeat myself. Once someone lies and accuses you then to me that's a red warning. I don't think she really cares about you. She packed the stuff and wanted you out. why would she want to have this relationship if it was toxic in the first place? To me, she seems a bit controlling. b*tchy girls like this aren't worth this. I'd give her space and you have your space. You know the situation better so go with what feels right to you.