Girls are harder

I have a thread about my sperm donor father or biological father. Whatever. He never earned the right to be called a dad.
So this one is about a mother - daughter relationship. It will be in the form of anecdotes that I remember. So I will try and leave all the psychological explanations out and just tell a story. It won't be too difficult because my family defy all logic.

My brothers girlfriend is expecting a new baby. And about month and half ago, she was grumbling to my mum about her feeling big like all expecting mums. And my mum, the sensitive soul she is said: oh you do not have to worry about being fat until you get as big as me or Jen...
I was utterly raging. She should never have said that to my face. She knew I had to stop taking meds that affected my thyroid. So my thyroid function had slowed. I have since lost weigh without trying, or changing anything. So when I do get back to work I will be my usual slim self. I almost considered dieting because of her.
My cousin is in a wrong bad crowd. And his mum has been in bits. She was speculating about what drugs he may have taken. I identified one as a bong so marijuana. Most boys like to chill with this so no need to panic yet. My mum however thought she would attempt to lighten the situation because the spotlight was not on her so she goes : Get him to get me some valley's, woah yehaw, let the good times roll. Not fancy some valley's aunty?? And she just froze then carried on with her troubles. Diazepam is prescribed all the time, no big deal. But to joke about it, no, no completely out of line. There are people with debilitating anxiety, who need these drugs.
Her friend had been ill and in hospital and she went to visit. It was something to do with her lungs. And the drug they prescribed caused a bad reaction and she lost lots of weight. So she was in to get it treated as they had diagnosed the wrong condition. And my mum as per usual, made an inappropriate comment. Her friend was full of woe and my mum goes what medication made you lose the weight because I want some, I will pretend I cannot breathe! (ME :you have all ready faked having depression to the council, and your mum, my granny spent her life getting herself sick for attention)
My mum told me that her friend looked a bit funny at her and went quiet on her (horrified probably is the apt word, after that comment)
Considering that the med was wrong in first place, and they had treated her for the wrong condition/ailment, her friend was at the stage where she was relieved that they found out the real reason, before she had gotten worse. There is a time and place for humour, it is not while lying in hospital feeling lucky to be alive.

Can you put spaces between your paragraphs so it's not one wall of text?

I'm sorry you're dealing with this stuff from your mother. I think that saying that "girls are harder" is ********, frankly. Each child is an individual and to blanket it that girls are harder to raise is ridiculous. Both of my brothers were harder to raise then I was. They both hit drugs hard, one of them bad enough to be considered an addict for years. They both barely graduated from high school because of drugs and bad influences. They both got into fights and violence both in school and after school, requiring hospital visits, totaled cars, stolen property, etc.

The girl in the family, myself, never got detention, never had to be told to do homework or clean her room or do her chores, got herself a full scholarship to college so family wouldn't have to pay, didn't even try marijuana until she was on her own, and probably the most difficult thing was helping her manage pre-menstrual dysforic disorder. I'm not saying I was perfect, I talked back at times, and behaved like sullen teenagers do. But if you look at the facts, I was far less costly to the family and they didn't have to worry about me getting in trouble.

To me when I hear "girls are harder" I just scoff because from everything I have seen, not just myself but other women I know, this is just a negative and untrue stereotype against women that's propagated to discriminate against women further in society.

Seesaw

Well my brother was my mums blue eyed boy. I was star pupil for first half of my education. So when I did do something wrong it was amplified twice as much and re-enforced. I spent my childhood ruminating over my flaws. But we all do I guess.

My mum would boast and brag about my brother all the time because he was great at golf and did have real potential. Yet, my brother had to get his nan to pay his yearly golf fee's. My parents could easily have afforded it if they did not spend so much time in the pub. So, they wouldn't even set up a direct debit for me but they could pay nearly a hundred pound monthly for sky t.v. that my mum never barely watched. I feel so embarrassed right now, but now I see why I quit the club and moved in with friends. If my parents couldn't even pay a direct debit to something that had kept me off the streets, during high school what were the chances they would help me out at college or university? They wouldn't.

My parents had staunch beliefs and nobody could convince them otherwise. They had the unflinching knack of bringing people round to their parenting style, unorthodox as it may have been.
They made it clear that as soon as I turned sixteen, I would be expected to pay THEM in the form of Digs'. But because by some turn of events I became good at my sport they sort of put things on hold and backed down . But I still just felt like an inconvenience to them. Like I had overstayed my welcome.

I don't see how any of this has to do with gender whatsoever.

this is wrong I will agree but reading all your posts, I dont' see how it has to do with girls being harder.

The rest of the first post sounds like just a bunch of dysfunctional behavior but when you mention the brother, it sounds like favoritism to me, but that is not exclusive by any stretch of the imagination, do boys or males in the family. Pure and simple favoritism is wrong and yes there are cases where some parents will favorite a child because of gender but that's not across the board

I don't see anything in your post saying that they've ever stated or implied that he was the favorite because he is male but I will say this, if that's true that does not mean the stereotype that it's harder as a girl in a family fits.

The title is just a starting point. Its just like a diary for me. There is a notion in working class culture that girls are harder to raise I meander to other territory but if its a gender debate you seek, I will get down to it later

no I'm not looking for a debate, what I said was really related to the original post and what you said doesn't really seem to be about what the title said so my point is really finished.

I am really not sure either. I think it's because a girl can get pregnant first off but that is self explanatory. Second it's because girls are supposed to be "moodier" . Thirdly I think boys get more freedom because parents "worry" less about them, as girls are more vulnerable. It's all emotional nurturing rooted.

It could just be your family dynamic? It's a mindset that you've been surrounded by. My late stepdad's mom used to swear up and down that women couldn't play sports because our insides would fall out. It's not true, yet, it's a symptom of a mentality that permeated that family's dynamics. Because that wasn't my family of origin, I was better adept at sifting through that. It stuck in my mind all these years. One of my grandmothers played basketball when it was a half court game, hence my jaw dropping with a tinge of adolescent-you cannot be serious thought in my head.
Raising girls does have its own challenges, I would imagine. I will say boys can have moods to rival the best of them.