[dshantel]

So I recently downloaded the meetup app to see what kind of groups they have in my area. I figure it's a good way to maybe make friends. Anyways I came across a group called cuddle collective. Its a group of people who participate in cuddling therapy with each other. It's run by a psychologist. She focuses on the importance of human connection. It is something I find very interesting and something I would like to give a try. After doing a little research on it, I feel like I could benefit from it. I feel like it could possibly help with some of my needs. I'm a pretty open-minded person. I crave connection with people. I'm not good at being alone and this year has been terrible. I don't have anyone but my husband and kids so this seemed like an awesome idea. So I brought it up to my husband, explained it to him and of course he does not like it or agree and doesn't want me to go because why do I want to or feel the need to cuddle strangers. I get that it may seem unusual. But he keeps telling me that it's weird and he also stated under his breath, " some more weird ***** I have to put up with from you for awhile." This of course hurt my feelings. I thought that I had finally found a way to maybe channel my inner self and needs for feeling connected to others but no because I don't want to dishonor him or hurt him anymore. Im still coming to terms with being non monogamous in a monogamous relationship trying to find other ways to feel like I can still connect and experience love with others in a non romantic way. This seemed the way to maybe have that. But I'm starting to think I should just give it up entirely.

Originally Posted by dshantel

...and he also stated under his breath, " some more weird ***** I have to put up with from you for awhile." This of course hurt my feelings.

If I came up with an idea like this I could picture my H stating the exact same thing (but not under his breath) plus he would say, "Why do you need to cuddle with strangers when you have me?" Is there any chance that the real issue isn't that you need your husband to hold you more but are tired of asking him or he has said "no" to many times? I assume you do directly ask him to hold you and snuggle with you from the things you have posted. I wonder if this is another way of telling him that he isn't giving you what you need.

[divine1966]

I am sorry you are not getting what you need from your husband. it sounds tough on you

Saying that, if my husband went to “cuddle meet up” and wanted to cuddle strangers I’d have hard time with it. Likely I’d say worse things that your husband said and they would not be under my breath. Frankly I’d not tolerate that. It would be a deal breaker

Well the difference is I don’t neglect my husband (the way he appears to neglect you)!and he isn’t miserable. Now, I personally don’t think you can substitute lack of loving relationship at home with cuddling strangers.

Have you considered marital therapy or perhaps leaving him all together?

[divine1966]

I want to add that meetups is a great way to connect to people. I belong to couple of ladies groups. We see movies or go out etc I lacked female companionship in my life and was so glad to discover meetup. So do give metup a chance

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am sorry you are not getting what you need from your husband. it sounds tough on you

Saying that, if my husband went to “cuddle meet up” and wanted to cuddle strangers I’d have hard time with it. Likely I’d say worse things that your husband said and they would not be under my breath. Frankly I’d not tolerate that. It would be a deal breaker

Well the difference is I don’t neglect my husband (the way he appears to neglect you)!and he isn’t miserable. Now, I personally don’t think you can substitute lack of loving relationship at home with cuddling strangers.

Have you considered marital therapy or perhaps leaving him all together?

Yes I have asked for counseling with him. He will not go. I also don't want to leave. I'm trying my best for this to work. We have 4 kids also.

[dshantel]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

If I came up with an idea like this I could picture my H stating the exact same thing (but not under his breath) plus he would say, "Why do you need to cuddle with strangers when you have me?" Is there any chance that the real issue isn't that you need your husband to hold you more but are tired of asking him or he has said "no" to many times? I assume you do directly ask him to hold you and snuggle with you from the things you have posted. I wonder if this is another way of telling him that he isn't giving you what you need.

I do ask him a lot. I try to communicate my needs with him. For the most part I do feel needy. Idk maybe someone is wrong with me