[lunatic soul]

My boyfriend and I got engaged and I was really happy about it, I was sure he is the one I love and also we are such a good friends.
One day he said that he find conversation in my computer which was deleted and old and started to blame me. It was when I wasnt near him and my world crushed in pieces, I was shocked about fact he stalks me, I though its over with us but I loved him. He felt guilty and started to see T and take medication. I forgave because he was honest but after this he used to ask me questions about my past and I lost my trust in him. Sometimes I thought about self harm or almost did it, I started to cry everyday and felt completely unhappy. I couldnt get over it but he said he is guilty and will never do it.
I started to think about buying new computer what I didnt do yet and when it seemed that its okay and all what happened was just a horrible nightmare which is gone and I felt happy with him again, then started questions about my fb, i deleted my account.
His behaviour kills me and now I cant feel anything at all. I dont know what to think, Im so tired of this life, I ask myself did love turn to pain? And is there love?
I feel broken but maybe Im too emotional and its nothing but for me its tragedy. Im sure Im not the only one who was stalked or stalked someone.
Maybe I should simply wait but my mother says that its emotional abuse.
Share your experience about stalking or being stalked and how it ended.

I cant be sure he is not reading this. If yes please kill me.

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

I was shocked about fact he stalks me, I though its over with us but I loved him. He felt guilty and started to see T and take medication. I forgave because he was honest but after this he used to ask me questions about my past and I lost my trust in him....
..I felt happy with him again, then started questions about my fb, i deleted my account...
....I cant be sure he is not reading this. If yes please kill me.

The one good thing I see is that he was honest about snooping but you do not feel like he trusts you and you deleted your fb account because of him--not because you wanted to. You are not in a healthy relationship. You are not going to heal until you end the relationship or demand better treatment from him (and get it). You do not need to answer questions about things you have done before you met your bf. Tell him you do not want to talk about it.

It is good that you are in therapy. It seems like you are having trouble standing up for your rights in this relationship. Have you talked to your T about why it is hard for you to do this?

[spidytolerate]

Just relax and take a deep breath. It´s possible you´re making problems bigger by freaking out.
Look at it this way instead. Your partner did something he should not have done, yes. But he has taken active steps to heal his own issues (which seems to be that he has difficulty trusting people) by going to therapy and taking medication. That is a very good step!

Checking ones online activity is not necsessarily bad, we are all different. You clearly think it is wrong and an invasion of your privacy, and he should respect that.

[divine1966]

Is this the same boyfriend that left you some time this year? Is this a new one or the old one came back? He doesn’t sound like healthy option for you.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Is this the same boyfriend that left you some time this year? Is this a new one or the old one came back? He doesn’t sound like healthy option for you.

I didnt mention that I was left this year, my previous relationship ended more then year ago, maybe you misunderstood something.
My ex was abuser but now I dont care about him anymore long time ago.
I have new love, the thing is- we both have mental issues. We must get over our own personal issues, thats what my T said.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by spidytolerate

Just relax and take a deep breath. It´s possible you´re making problems bigger by freaking out.
Look at it this way instead. Your partner did something he should not have done, yes. But he has taken active steps to heal his own issues (which seems to be that he has difficulty trusting people) by going to therapy and taking medication. That is a very good step!

Checking ones online activity is not necsessarily bad, we are all different. You clearly think it is wrong and an invasion of your privacy, and he should respect that.

Thank you, you are right.
Im simply too unstable and emotional.
Now Im feeling better, we talked about it and yes my T said that Im making big drama where its not so dramatic.
I see how he tries to help himself, sure I forgive because he does something to save our relationships.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

The one good thing I see is that he was honest about snooping but you do not feel like he trusts you and you deleted your fb account because of him--not because you wanted to. You are not in a healthy relationship. You are not going to heal until you end the relationship or demand better treatment from him (and get it). You do not need to answer questions about things you have done before you met your bf. Tell him you do not want to talk about it.

It is good that you are in therapy. It seems like you are having trouble standing up for your rights in this relationship. Have you talked to your T about why it is hard for you to do this?

Thank you for your opinion.
I already told him almost everything about my ex relationships but it didnt help him, just made it worse.
Now I hope he will get better by therapy and medication.
Its too easy to break me, Im thinking about going to hospital because of addiction, depression and panic attacks, doc said its better way to help myself.
We both are sick, we both are trying to heal ourselves, now I feel that I forgive him again and again, yeah its love but sometimes it causes pain but I must understand that he has mental issues too.
No one wants to be left because he/she has mental issues and if he has delusions I hope he will get over it. Im also sick what can I say?