[dalila]

Last night again I tried to talk to my husband about my depression, and once again he didn’t get it. He loves me and he did what he could to make me feel better and closer to him. I enjoyed his attention but I felt so alone afterwards. I goofed with my antidepressant - we went on a short trip 3 days and I didn’t take enough pills with me. I was slipping into a depression before we go home and even taking the proper dosage hasn’t elevated the problem. It is not the deep dark of the soul but is it unpleasant nonetheless. I suppose I have to accept that he will never get it but where does that leave me? I don’t want to be in therapy the rest of my life, especially if it is mainly to have someone who really gets it to talk to. I am getting better and better and even beginning to accept my ups and downs somewhat but I have no one to talk it over with in 3d but my therapist. I get scared sometimes tat this will cause problems in our marriage -- the depression and flashbacks have already put a strain on it that we have had to work through. And being depressed again is not helping my outlook.

dalila

[Mistymona]

maybe it's ok if he just accepts you, with depression as an occasional part of you. Maybe all we ever need to understand is that we cannot truly understand, just accept the parts of ourselves that haven't beeen studied (yet) in sufficient detail.

I think depression was part of the reason I lost my husband, but that's because I wasn't diagnosed, and in fact didn't even have a name, had no idea depression was a disease with a diagnose and science etc behind it.

Meanwhile, I'm just thinking I need to accept it, I'll always be leaning towards depression, meds or no meds.

[JessF]

It sounds like he truly loves you. Maybe understanding your depression isn't his strong point, but I'm sure he has other qualities to make up for it. Try focussing on his supportive qualities to help you through your depressive states. Have you tried taking him to a therapy session with you? It might give him a different view on the hole topic.

[JessF]

It sounds like he truly loves you. Maybe understanding your depression isn't his strong point, but I'm sure he has other qualities to make up for it. Try focussing on his supportive qualities to help you through your depressive states. Have you tried taking him to a therapy session with you? It might give him a different view on the whole topic.

[stargazer]

Probably not. I'm not sure what you want from him. It sounds like he loves you and supportts you the best he can. If you expect him to be your therapist, I fear you will be disappointed. True therapy is not just talking to someone who understands. That is a part of it, but it is also hard work. You have to identify what is going on and then really work on the problem. This is not something that most spouses can do, they are too close to the situation. I wish you the very best.
Mark

"Though my soul may set in darkness,
it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly
to be fearful of the night."