I have a scenario for you all

I'm sorry. It was just a symbolic scenario that my therapist once brought up, regarding my feelings on marriage and having to wait. It's not actually something that happened literally.

To be honest, I feel really put off by the whole dating thing. The uncertainty, putting yourself out there again and again, the anxieties I have that I don't think I can overcome. Going out with possibly several people before finding a good match. All of that socializing to maybe find a match.

No thank you.

Thats pretty much how i feel. You talk to people who have really thought about stuff.

I just hope I don't turn into a crotchety old man.

Edit: I feel depressed after talking about this. I'm off to bed.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I'm confused, why stop the transition? I feel for you, being in gender limbo like that.

That is not necessary. I simply mentioned transition because of the changes that occured in my body as a result of my choice at one time to transition. And any prospective gf/wife would have the right to make an informed decision, because I would need to be with someone that could accept those things.

But my gender is not in question. This is just about finding love (or not). Specifically, finding a wife (or not).

I'm sorry it brought up bad feelings, hope you can feel better soon.

I'm confused. I thought you transitioned to female from male?

And I do think your hangups with dating etc. could be tied to your new identity based on your past as a man, who was previously married to the wrong woman.

Now that you have transitioned to being a woman, you are still attracted to women, so the challenge for you is to find a woman who will accept who you are now, as well as who you were then, and not judge you for your choice to change genders.

I feel like it's a common roadblock many transgendered people come up against, asking themselves, "How do you reconcile your past with your new identity?"

^ ^ Male -> Female -> Male.

So...you went to a female then back to a male? How does that work? Don't feel you like you need to reply...I don't understand trans at all cuz I'm such a simpleton. I could ask you endless questions about it, so don't feel like you need to gush or explain.

I'm open. Ask away.

So I began with seeking a supportive therapist. I also found a very supportive pdoc who began prescribing me hormones. Estradiol (the estrogen) and spironolactone (testosterone blocker).

I legally changed my name and gender marker on my documents (driver's license, etc).

After some time, I saw a urologist after having secured the necessary letters from my pdoc, therapist, and another doc.

I had a bilateral orchiectomy (surgical removal of the testicles). It was in preparation for sex reassignment surgery (I was going to lose them anyway), plus it allowed me to stop the spiro, and halve my estrogen dosage.

All in all, I was in transition for 3 years before I went back to being male.

Maybe I missed this answer but why did you stop transitioning?

This thread has been closed at the OP's request.