I am totally obsessed with revenge, with getting back at him, with confronting him with his lies and BS. I cannot wait to get back at him. I cannot wait for the day when he tries to win me back, so that I can SLAM HIM and SLAM HIM HARD. I spent over $10,000 for this a-hole. What a crock of **** he turned out to be. I am seeing RED, bloody red because i am so livid. It's my own damn fault. I am too naive, too trusting, too good hearted, too nice... and he scammed me. WTF?????? He fed me nothing but lies this whole time, telling me I am the best thing ever happened to him.

I understand the frustration at being used, emotionally and financially. It is OK to be angry about it.

[~Christina]

Anger is a normal reaction. Do you have the ability to get back the money? Does he live in your area where you could run into him?

I am beyond angry. I am seeing bloody RED. Like I want someone to seriously hurt him, if not ME. I want someone to beat him to a pulp like he deserevs. No way to get the money back. It;s gone and he's never paying me back.

[eskielover]

Is this the same guy who was in the homeless shelter with no job & a mental condition whose aunt finally relented to allowing him to move back to his omd town from the homeless shelter that you bought the bus ticket for.

The guy you were willingly waiting to to go back to having a relationship IF ONLY he would pay you back the money he used from you while you wers living together.

Sounds like you may be angry about more than JUST THE MONEY if this is the same guy.

If i remember right you KNEW it was VERY GOOD possibility you would NEVER see your money again when you bought him the bus ticket. The reality of our internal gut feel knowledge coming true always hurts & makes us angry because we KNEW IT, we just didnt want to believe until there is ACTUAL PROOF our gut feel was RIGHT.

Yes, it's the same guy. He fooled me. He's a jerk. I gave him chance after chance, and he blew it. I did know it back then and I allowed his so called words of "love" to influence me.

I feel totally destroyed. I will never be the same again.

[Erebos]

I can totally empathize, I have up my dream job moved across the country had 4 kids and totally dedicated 10 years of my life to someone who sauntered off an made another woman pregnant, after saying he couldn't handle the commitment.

So I know angry, in fact it wasn't anger it was all consuming fury.
I would actually shake if I thought about seeing him again, and what I would say and do.

I felt I couldn't physically contain the emotions.
I wanted to physically hurt him.
Eventually though I realised I was just as angry at myself, and that the more time I spent obsessing over revenge, the more he was winning.

What your going through is normal, a totally acceptable part of grieving.
I don't know if revenge will make you feel better, I never got the chance.
I do know he never wasted a second thinking about me after he left and wasn't worthy of my time or effort.

It's true what they say, success is the best revenge.

I hope you can work through this, however that manifests itself.
Keep venting, and letting it out, hopefully one day you will find you forgot to even think about him.

Take care.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I feel totally destroyed. I will never be the same again.

Maybe that is a good thing....maybe not so quick to be fooled by words of love in the future.

Sometimes our feeling of anger when things like this happen is multiplied....not just at them for doing it but also at ourselves for alliwing it to happen.

I always dump the anger at myself & look at it in a positive light as a LEARNING OPPORTUNITY.

You are a sweet person Eve, he played on your kind nature. It's awful when people do that.

You have a right to your anger, I'm glad you are expressing it. Do you have some outlets to chanel it, like a run/workout to pound out some of your frustrations?

thank you, all..... Erebos, I am so sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you worked through it. And thank you for your empathy. Eskielover, thank you, too. I will NOT be so fooled in the future. Sprout, thank you, you're very kind to say that. (((((hugs everyone))))))

So I just heard from him. Now he claims that we didn't have enough common ground.. that he was stretching to feel connected with me towards the end. What BS. That cannot possibly be true, since we were very connected. Why did we even get engaged then???????? WTF??????

[eskielover]

Those are HIS FEELINGS....you have yours based on your experience & yoyr feelings.

Feelings dont always make sense expecially when someone is trying to RATIONALIZE their behavior like he is. You kinda knew this guy was a loser for quite awhile now. He is just reinforcing that understanding & valudating those gut feelings you really didnt want to admit to.

I would look at what he says as the exclaimation point following THE END! With a dash of good riddence on top.

YES. He IS a loser, a loser that I unfortunately loved very much. I was in love with him. What a jerk. I cannot even believe what he's trying to claim now. That we didn't connect enough...... bull crap. We DID.

[eskielover]

Part of his claim is probably to make you mad & just walk awsy from the money he really owes you. It could very well just be more of his manipulation to get what HE WANTS....you to leave him aline about that money he owes you.

Can you take him to small claims for what he owes you or does HE THINK it was a GIFT from you?

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

I feel totally destroyed. I will never be the same again.

Yes, you will.
Please start being kind to yourself and stop feeding these lies to your mind.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry that jerk contacted you and just increased your anger and sense of betrayal. He’s really not worth your time and attention. You have every reason to be livid and to feel betrayed. Thinking of you. I know it seems impossible now but time will help. Like someone else said...success is the best revenge.

Originally Posted by eskielover

Part of his claim is probably to make you mad & just walk awsy from the money he really owes you. It could very well just be more of his manipulation to get what HE WANTS....you to leave him aline about that money he owes you.

Can you take him to small claims for what he owes you or does HE THINK it was a GIFT from you?

I can't take him to small claims. I don't even have receipts. It's a loss that I must chalk up to my own naivete. :/ Never again will I be fooled like this.

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Yes, you will.
Please start being kind to yourself and stop feeding these lies to your mind.

You're right. I will.... in time I will be.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry that jerk contacted you and just increased your anger and sense of betrayal. He’s really not worth your time and attention. You have every reason to be livid and to feel betrayed. Thinking of you. I know it seems impossible now but time will help. Like someone else said...success is the best revenge.

thank you , Jennifer. Good Lord, I really was taken for a ride by this a-hole. I am getting my revenge by writing about him openly on the forum where we met, calling him out as the true liar and con artist he is. He will see my posts. Hehehe.

This is what I've posted on the other forum where we met. I know he's going to see it and read it, and I hope he does!!!

My last boyfriend was total crap, or rather, ex fiance. He used me like a bank account and took full advantage of my kindness and good heart. Well, I know what I deserve, and it's FAR better than whatever crap he gave me. He's a total liar and a con artist who scammed me from the very beginning and all along. He lied about just about everything under the sun, yet claimed to be honest and trustworthy. He even claimed to be faithful. It's all bull crap. He stole meds from me. He even stole a pair of earrings for me. I should have cut it off then, knowing what I now know of his true character. I should have cut it off when I left him the first time. His own mother and grandmother told me he's a total scam artist, so I should have known better. They kicked him out for good reason. They got fed up with him, and so did I. I kicked him out, too, but of course he lies about this. He burns bridges with everyone, including all of his friends, his family members, and now with me. I should have left him homeless without a wallet and phone when I had the chance and like he deserved. But I was too kind. He didn't deserve my kindness OR my heart, let alone any of my money. I gave him all of my love and even supported him financially falsely believing he would actually pay me back one day, but he abused ALL of it. He even wrecked my car. No wonder all his past girlfriends cheated on him. He probably deserved it. He probably abused their love, too. He is NOT worthy. Well, whatever, I now see him for the lying con artist he truly is, and I am moving on. Lesson learned! Lots of good looking, fun, interesting men are interested in me, so I can pick and choose and just have fun. I wrote that I kissed a man the other night for the first time since my ex. It was delicious and passionate. He may be a good candidate for me. He's a LOT of fun and seems decent. We'll see.

I know what I have to offer, and I know what I deserve. I am honest, faithful, fun-loving and loving. I have a LOT to offer the right person who is worthy of my heart. I deserve to be treated with respect, honor, honesty, and kindness. I deserve the very best because I know that I am the very best, and that is what I will hold out for. My ex was lucky to even have me. But NO more settling for anything less than what I deserve. Enough of the crap already. I've met enough frogs, now I want my prince. But until then, I will just have fun. Moving right along!!!! =) =) =) Hi ho hi ho.... skip away I will. NO more settling.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

This is brilliant!

LOL I thought so =)

Well, so I've done that, I am NOT going to log onto that forum, I've blocked him on there, I sent one last F you note to him by email and blocked ALL his email addresses. I'm now exercising self-care, which is what I need. I know his last email to me was abusive, and I deleted it without reading it. HE is abusive.

Well done for the blocking and deleting before you read what he wrote.

YES, now I just need to stay off that other forum FOR GOOD.