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#1
Oct 30, 2007, 09:56 AM
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I love my gf to death, ( we have been together for a year) but the one thing that keeps getting to me is that she refuses to tell me that she loves me without me saying it first, I tell ask her why but she just tells me that because she is not used to it, but we have be together for a year! COME ON! it just really ticks me off sometimes, can anyone help me please!
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Psychology should be everyones best friend, just like my mind is my most valuable possesion. |
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#2
Oct 30, 2007, 10:11 AM
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If you think about it from the other direction, it looks almost as strange to "insist" someone tell you they love you, first, as it does for someone to wait until the other says it? Is there some "magic" to her saying it first? Would it be truer or more believable or something? Seems like putting words in her mouth? I'd wait and let her "be" herself instead of trying to mold her into doing things my way?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Oct 30, 2007, 10:57 AM
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i understand from where you are comming from, but the problem is that it is like if she dosent want to say it. What if I stoped saying I love you, I wonder what would happen, I guess im being a litlle demanding dont you think, but its been a year and I would expect more trust between us.
thanks
__________________
Psychology should be everyones best friend, just like my mind is my most valuable possesion. |
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#4
Oct 30, 2007, 11:36 AM
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She may or may not love you (as you wish/feel for her) and may or may not trust you, same thing. I had a problem with my husband when I was dating him and my therapist got her point across by asking, "How long did his mother know him?. . .And how long have you known him?" LOL! I wouldn't pressure her to say I love you since she may have been "abused" along those lines; her parents may have expected/forced her to say things she didn't feel or want to say so actually getting her to say it when she doesn't want to might hurt you rather than help you/her. If you love her, think of her first; don't worry about "words". They may make you feel better/more secure but they're only words. Focus on what makes her feel better/more secure and she'll try to "reward" you, I promise. She doesn't necessarily care about the words (that's a cliche, similar to giving candy/flowers on Valentines day). Ask her (or better yet, observe) what she likes and do that. She knows you like her to say "I love you" first so she'll probably do that when she feels you are supporting her better.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Oct 31, 2007, 09:25 AM
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you are wise, and correct. thanks a billion.
__________________
Psychology should be everyones best friend, just like my mind is my most valuable possesion. |
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