So You Like The Advice, But.....

Feb 26, 2018, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Yes, thinking for my self, going with my gut, trusting in myself and my points of view have never steered me wrong.”

See this, to me, is just amazing. Really. I’m jealous over this statement. I want that or even a year or 2 where I can look back & say, hey you did a pretty good job there patagonia.

“Now, in the case where you know you have MI, and you know that can cause you to feel like something is a good idea that is certainly a bad idea, well, there you make a good point. I try not to be too impulsive.”

This is a sticking point for me. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m being impulsive. I feel like I’m making good sound decisions. I’ve checked all the boxes for go & move in a forward direction. Then....something happens. It could be just one person saying what a bad idea that was....didn’t you think about this or that....even one bad day of negative thoughts & it comes crashing down as a huge failure & im devastated for awhile, then angered. Now recently I’ve tried not to point out all the bad, but to see the positive parts too & that’s difficult to hear in my head when the negative is so loud!

“If I have doubts about something, I may take my time before doing it, run the idea by others, get feedback.
Do you learn from your mistakes?”

What I’ve learned from yrs of MH issues is not to make important decisions, just let it go until things r better. How do I know when I’m better bec when I think I’m better it could be just another part of my MI playing games (omg I’m talking in circles!) sorry.

“Do you really make terrible choices?”

When I look back, well hindsight taints everything, yeah I can point out all the mistakes. Sorry.

I have learned that I also have to guard against being impulsive. Because of some recent mental issues I have allowed my emotions to carry me away and make some terrible decisions. When I allow my emotions to calm down before making a decision--I make very good ones. Eskielover once said that we make the best decisions when we combine our intuitve side with reason. My daughter sometimes advises me not to let my emotions get the best of me but think about it logically. When I sleep on it, make a plan but reevaluate it later to see if it still resonates, or get feedback to make sure my idea isn't completely crazy--I do not make major mistakes.

I have been going up and down alot since my attempt and only recognize it in hindsight so I recognize I need feedback from others to "check" that I am behaving rationally.

It feels like my mood swings are "worse" than they were when I was younger. Is it age? The drugs I take? (I was drug free in hs, in the Air Force, when the children were young.)

TishaBuv · Feb 26, 2018, 11:27 AM

The early decisions we make as little kids; what color lollipop do we choose?, what clothes do we want to pick out for ourselves today?

Then, we get taught to make choices to stay safe. “If Billy tells you to jump off the roof, will you jump?” We then learn to think to ourselves, Is this something I really want to do? What can hurt me if I do it?

Then, we are constantly learning by watching what happens to others. When similar situations are presented to us, we recall what we saw and can predict the good or bad outcome.

I’ve made plenty of bad decisions. But, then I do my best to get myself out of the trouble I got myself into.

Anyone who is familiar with my issues on here knows I have been coping with a huge decision to leave an unfixable, toxic relationship.

And even though it was a disaster for me, I don’t regret listening to my gut, and taking the leap of faith of getting into the relationship. This is just what happened to me. Who knows, maybe a different choice would have been worse. Plus, so much good came from this choice, even though I suffered.

Patagonia · 04:12 AM

You should hear what my mom used to do to me when she found me masturbating. It’s a wonder I have sex!

Feb 27, 2018, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

So is it good advice?

IMO how good the advice was becomes clearer with time. Sometimes advice we were given completely fades away next week, month or year. Maybe if it is forgetable it wasn't that important after all. With really good advice, we continue to see that it continues to apply to our lives. That if we follow it, our lives are better in some way.

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